LV

Pards half time teamtalk coming up....

What a fantastic article. Brilliant stuff.

Love you Hatem!!

Htf did he miss that??

Created a chance from a stand still on a half way line and there's people complaining. Birtles is bringing us down. Like Marvin the Robot from Hitchhikers Guide...

Just shut up Birtles! Christ, he makes me want to commit seppuku.

It's Gary 'slit me wrists' Birtles. It's the same every match he commentates on.

We're actually looking quite good.

Ha ha. So true!

Seriously, at this point is Kinnear any worse than Pardew? I'm beginning to wonder.

I think we've found our level

They've had less time with Pardew.

I hate how bad our whole club is these days. The whole club hierarchy are frauds and our playing staff are scared of Morecambe FC.

Hoofabix

I was thinking exactly the same thing. It won't end there either i bet.

Maybe if we all wrote to Richard Branson really nicely he'd consider taking us on.....

Ha. Even our journalists are clowns!

Because Graham Carr has done such a shite job on his own like. I just cannot believe what i am seeing here.....

No more goals

This is an incredible assumption based on the selection of the team for one pre-season friendly. I'm not so sure. If Pards has got a new stat-crunching Sinclair Spectrum for his birthday you can bet he's going to use it and think he's some kind of modern visionary of the football management world.

What I mean is, this is probably the new 'techniques' or whatever it was that Pardew said that we had up our sleeve that he wasn't going to talk about. So we'll more than likely use 'stats' during the season as well to pick the team. I look forward to Obertan being picked over Ben Arfa because he had a 3% higher work-rate than Ben Arfa in training or some nonsense like that. My issue is that stats don't measure skill or creativity in any way.

Great, a team picked purely on stats. This won't end well.

Legendary.

Can you put Hitler in there too? I'd still click Ashley.

Can you imagine what players like Cabaye will think of this muppet? I thought I was unshockable after the last few years. Turns out I'm not.