LV

He's just an utter hoop. I'm so tired of his bullshit it's untrue.

My god he's a tiresome bellend

I can't believe anyone would recommend signing him based on what we've seen so far. Even if our transfer budget wasn't restricted I wouldn't want him. Strikers need to score goals. I guess we'd only take him for a knock down price and take a gamble that he gets back to the player that Carr thought he could be. The words 'knockdown price' and 'gamble' being among Ashley's favourite words then it's a good bet we'll go for it if he's cheap.

We all know he'll be back on the bench again against Everton.

We don't really know based on that - might have been a proper bellend behind the scenes, can imagine some teammates might not be overly impressed with him being so obviously out of shape for most the season for instance. I love HBA but I'm sure he's not entirely blameless in whatever's gone on. It'll be his lack of passing if anything. Not that I think there is really anything in this at all beyond Pardew being an absolute fraud of a manager, the arch-bullshit merchant that he is.

Yeah, maybe asking him to track back rather than express himself has affected his attacking 'stats' Al. I don't know, what do you think? Utter tool.

I just can't take any more of his bullshit. I'm totally ashamed that he's our manager.

Prob be Gosling in central defence. It's good to try people out in different positions.

I hate it when Pardew says 'Trust me'. He says it all the time and usually when people say stuff like that it's because they know they are lying or bullshitting.

Think he's just had his teeth done as well. Looks like he's fighting to keep them in!

Colo couldn't lace a fit Woodgates boots. A fit Woodgate could barely lace his own boots due to his glass-like physique. Colo over Woodgate every time in my all time 11. On their day Woodgate was better iyam. Shame his day wasn't that often. He was also a better leader too. Woodgate was phenomenal. Laurent Charvet for me like

By the looks of the standard of the writing, it's an outfit that is run from a 15 year old's bedroom.

What. The fuck. Is this shit? I knew Pardew was a twat but this trumps the lot.

By a strange coincidence i was thinking this exact same thing, just not about Ashley. Did she forget your card??

For some reason I've woken up today hating this fat mess more than ever. I'm so annoyed there don't seem to be any rich businessmen out there who have the funds to pay the ransom this guy is asking for to release our club from captivity.

1-1. We're due a goal. Even Andreas Andersson scored eventually.

I can't even be happy with his resignation without thinking something even more horrific is lurking around the corner! I mean, this is great news but what has Fat Boy got in store for us next? There'll undoubtedly be something.

Oh happy days! But what's the next move....?

Pardew did witter something about 'going back to basics'

Christ, this is depressing. I can think of literally nothing we can do that will realistically get him to leave. I certainly can't afford to buy him out. I also hate the fact that he could read this board and see how annoyed we are about him. He'll probably love it and so will Kinnear (if he can read).

At least a local lad scored.

Get Armstrong on. He can't do any worse and he'll probably be enthusiastic.

Ugh. This is dire.

Aye, but it'll be to replace Ben Arfa.

I'm expecting them to send Joe on the radio to spout another load of bollocks tbh. It's been a while...