bhoywhonder

Christ can you imagine the thrill and excitement of making the final, trekking half across Europe after snagging a ticket against all odds, meeting up with your pals at the Airport....and getting the Metro to chickentown. The sense of anticlimax would be palpable as they trudge up to the flatpack Stade de Merde in amongst the industrial units and dogsh*t.

Pencil museum hahaha I know right?! Pencil museum, what's the point? You'd think that'd be more appropriate in Split. I'm here all night folks.

The plot has definitely been lost. He's lost the plot, the sub-plot, the underlying narrative, the main character arc, the denouement, the credits, the end-credit bit, the tickets and the popcorn. He and the chicken town nonces are such a perfect fit. Stay up or go down, I wish them a long and tedious marriage.

Well Alli is definitely out, and Dembele is currently licking Costa's childhood memories from one thumb and spatial awareness from the other so.....yeah.

Boom. Who called it? This guy *does thumbs thing* Please ignore the final sentence in that post, I'm notoriously inconsistent. Meh, you were late to the party I'm unappreciated in my time.

Boom. Who called it? This guy *does thumbs thing* Please ignore the final sentence in that post, I'm notoriously inconsistent.

Congrats to Leicester. OK, cut to spurs dressing room where they're all leathering sh*t out of each other please.......* (*just to clarify Not Gay (underlined))

He was more animated in his last little cameo than he's been in his previous 6 starts, so hopefully this has been the kick up the hoop that brings back his early season form.

Just leaving this here.....aficionado as I am for local news and hard-hitting irrefutable statistics: In precis: figures per 100,000 per capita of obese NHS admissions: Newcastle - 28 Gateshead - 69 Durham - 98 S. Tyneside - 102 sunderland - 135 So that's that mackem myth put to bed. Try skipping Greggs for breakfast next time you wobbly nonces.....

Yup.

Is that the rugby kit then? (Not the one on Ennis, which for personal reasons I'm hoping that red band is detachable)

When I had a ST and had the Bairn always went to either Milecastle or 5 Swans... easy to find a quiet spot and both have kiddy menus for scran A fresh bucket of sawdust does not constitute a new carpet in my opinion.

Whilst far from relaxed lets be realistic...our only remaining away game is against a team who've lost what, 7 on the bounce? Leicester will be champions this time next week, spurs just lost their best player and likely to be reeling from a sickening Chelsea equaliser. Mackems have been lucky so much the last 4 seasons, they're luck's run out. Circled the drain once too often. Chelsea, Everton, Stoke away and someone else....Four points a probability, likely less. So what I'm saying is, Norwich to stay up.

Colback would definitely be the receiver. But would he be a 'wide receiver'? Course, they're all 'wide receivers' by the time i've finished with them.....

Hmmm....our 'mag at work' stories really need more fleshing out. 2/10, needs more lying.

Shoo in. Made the same mistake for years. I'm on tenderhooks too see whether they'll pass mustard......

Really? If spurs don't beat chelsea it's goodnight Vienna in my opinion.

I actually made the effort to watch safc-arsenal. On todays showing, I wouldnt be surprised if the nonce-botherers didn't win - or lose - another match all season. Hippoheed has the 'don't lose at all costs' mentality entrenched, but they haven't got the quality to press on and win. 4 games, 4 draws imo. Norwich - who the hell knows? They've blown hot and cold for weeks now, and it could only take one freak win to see them ok. So over to you Rafa, three games, nine points. Do it, do it, do it........

Weirdly that 0-3 gesture she's making with her thumbless mitts is also the ratio of brain cell to incisors she has. That mouth, like a row of bombed houses man.

He is, proper flat-track bully imo, like Ruud van Nistelrooy was at one point. Probably explains why he always scores against us.

Yeesh, their entire pitch looks like one of those trompe l'oeil street paintings. Whats it meant to be, a bottomless pit? A swimming pool? I mean, just why?

Bet the away entrance is still a knocked-thru terrace house though.

"Human thumb-in-a-suit" © C. Brooker "Like a living Toby Jug filled to the brim with warm piss" © S. Lee Frank Skinner's class tho, one of the top three stand-ups ive ever seen. WBA can f*ck off fwiw...

Louise Trout-Horse Taylor is a mackem scribe writing for the accuracy-phobic sh*tstirrers-supreme Guardian. http://www.theguardian.com/football/live/2016/apr/19/newcastle-united-v-manchester-city-premier-league-live 'nuff said.