Altamullan

Rooney should retire. He won't like, but he looked terrible to me. Embarrassing attempts at dribbling, bobble along and misplaced passes, slow, no obvious 'vocals' or leadership. He was such a great player. Time to leave the party Wazza, you're past it.

Well, it would at least put a final nail in the coffin of one of my two main sources of football-related misery. Wonder if halving the horror shows would make me happier? Suspect the toon would just spread out and fill the void.

Well I never... Really didn't see that coming. Despite near 70% England possession, have to say Iceland deserved it. Direct and effective. England had 18 shots, of which only 4 on target. Poor, by any standard. Four volleys spring to mind, which looked like they were using a ball from the pound shop. Ah well... Well done the North Men. What I did see coming was the woeful contribution of Rooney. Can't recall seeing as many unforced errors from an international footballer: ageing like milk not wine. If we were unduly confident to the point of arrogance pre-match, we're not now. Personally, I'm more hurt than I thought I'd be. If such things make you non-English toon-botherers happy, then that's between you and your values. Before I seriously hit the Whisky (fake team and real team heading home feels s****) here's a verse from the volumes of literature England has given the world: "If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools..." (Kipling, IF) My favourite Newcastle-related Kipling tale is from India, where after watching the Durham Light Infantry march past he, apparently, said: "The man who has never heard the 'Keel Row' rising high and shrill above the sound of the regiment...has something yet to hear and understand". "As I came through Sandgate the, through Sandgate... "[repeat until p*ssed, make that more p*ssed...]

Numbers mean everything at the full time whistle. 3-0 England.

England won all ten qualifying games; scoring 31, conceding 3. They are unbeaten at the finals, having 64 shots in the three games (18 against), with most of the possession in all games (70% in victory over quarter finalists, Wales). Bit harsh to say they're not very good.

Wow. Rodent comment. Vile s***. With a name like Sawicki not sure she would have been too popular amongst her Nazi party heroes (Polish -Jewish, either way f***ed). Though those jegging-things she is wearing would no doubt look smashing with a pair of jackboots; assuming she could find a pair to fit over her elephant-foot sized legs. Perhaps, we're all being unkind or obtuse and missing the joke? She might be doing a Mel Brooks (also Jewish) and reclaiming the power from the real swastika lovers. "So I said to Martin Gorman, I said 'Hey Marty! Why don't we throw a little Nazi party?'"

Quality isn't it [emoji3] “I asked the referee, ‘What, am I not allowed to break wind a little?’ ‘No,’ he replied … I don’t get it but maybe he thought I farted in my hand and threw the fart at him. But I did not.” :lol: That really tickled me.

Query for the oldies: my first visit to St James' Park was to see the team return from an unsuccessful cup final (oh how prophetic...). I remember walking through a maze of temporary hoardings, around Grey's Monument (think they were renovating it). I remember the team doing a lap of honour (...) around the pitch. Someone dressed as a Magpie dancing around them and a big fake cardboard cup was being waved around. I know I was young, but can't figure out if it was 1974 or 1976? Was anybody there? Does anyone know?

Some radical forward thinking there Jay. Not sure Roy is ready for such 'back to the future' style two strikers on from the start wizardry.

Aha! Secret stash revealed There's my morning gone...

I'm a bit all or nothing in my thinking about this game. England have had three games against teams set-up to defend, frustrate and counterattack. Iceland are arguably more used to this style (than Russia, Wales, and Slovakia) even though player for player I doubt they are better than any of the three previous opponents, they're probably better at playing in this way. I don't see a scintillating end to end 2-1, 3-2 type spectacle. If England score first (and early) then, I think Iceland will have to come out and I'd fancy a 3-0, or more. If 0-0 at 60 mins or if Iceland score first, then we've hardly covered ourself in glory when trying to break teams down, so it could be bleak for England.

Jaqen's Pocahontas is challenging SB's pouting Croatian for my EF Top-Totty vote! Good find

Mmm, fair bit of undue provocation, to be fair. But attack (unwarranted) as the best form of defence is an empathy killer.

Congratulations to Klaus, Kevo, Felipão Proud of my fake (ish) team! At least we gave you a game. It was nice while it lasted.

If it's not broke.... That said: "Don't take me home..."

"...we had dreams and songs to sing..."

Oi-land, Oi-land! That's for the croppy boys ye French blaggards!

Ah, ok I get it now. Thanks. I'm not extracting the Michael, and normally don't care about grammar or punctuation, but if I've edited your post above to show how what you meant would have been clear to anyone reading it.

Calm down Mr Snrub. We'll all be out of the Euros soon, but in case you missed the memo, the tournament has helped promote brotherly love amongst the British Isles teams. There now, boyo. You know now; all fixed. All good now. Have a seat and a nice cool beer. NO! Not a plastic chair and a glass bottle!!

SB's smashed it again! This young woman is out there potentially in need of comfort...ahh...it's an unfair world.

Please take me home Please come and take me home I'd rather be at fucking work Don't want to say here You don't have strong-enough beer To make me watch this game some more!

... is the highlight of the match so far.

I really enjoyed the groups, and Thurs-Fri felt like cold turkey. Then today. Addiction cured.

Thanks Segun, made me realise I am watching a recorded version/am behind the play... Looks better on fast forward anarl

Eh?