Guybrush

I'd much prefer it goes like this

I think we'll win but it'll go like this: Man City will start winning, then Chelsea will start winning, we will still be at nil nil, there will be a forum meltdown, then a winning goal from us at the death.

Bloody hell. Now that is freak behaviour.

Also, I know there's lots to criticise, but cheesy chips are genuinely delicious and I don't care who knows it.

That sounds too unhinged to be true

It's an absolute disgrace that one of these teams will be in the Champions League next year

Here me out, Osula right, Barnes central. Should we experimenting now? No. Would I still like to see it? Yes. Will I stop asking myself questions I can easily answer? Never.

Decent half

Really don't think I can handle the match thread today . We shall see

Hope it's Barnes left and Gordon right. I don't like it when they shift Barnes over to accommodate Gordon. Need Osula on before the 80th minute too.

There are so useless

What about putting Vardy in goal for a season?

Never heard of this goalkeeper, but if we don't sign him, St James Park should be burned to the ground.

Grealish? Absolutely not. I'll have nobody who slanders the name of Miguel Almiron at our club.

Wew

If a badge doesn't contain at least 2 seahorses, is it even a badge?

Hate it when I can't watch the match and use the match thread as a live update. It's like after each page I need a break to call the Samaritans

Football is unfair.

Same

No chance

Love Trippier waiting awkwardly for Osula to finish dancing And then Osula making the absolute most of it.

This is the most electrifying match in sports entertainment

Wonderful

This officiating man

Aye, wait what?