Coffee_Johnny

We can go 4th if we win by two goals. Villa would still be in 3rd, 7 pts ahead. Unreal how close it is between 10th and 4th this season.

Just listened to his interview on .cock. He revealed an important pre match routine. “Clean shit. First goal, first assist.” I sheet you not.

Kairat (WTF…) Villareal (get real) Slavia Prague (have a few Staropramen) Frankfurt (sausage guzzlers to a man) Ajax (down the netty) R.Union SG (four-sooth!) Pafos (pif!) Benfica (fic-king hell) Bodo/Glimt (Aha! Morten) Club Brugge (Colin Farrell’s shit tip) Copenhagen (Wonderful…) Napoli (sod Gomarrah) Olympiakos (not on the podium) Athletic (not so much it seems) PSV (Always look on the bright side…) Monaco (Aubameyang left on the grid) Leverkusen (late winner—who cares) Marsielle (A their CAB) Qarabag (I, for one, am proud) Galatasary (Osimhen, we’ll rescue you)

They don’t often trouble my thoughts (thankfully) but enjoyed an ‘Are you watching Sunderland?’ moment tonight.

Reminds me of an 80’s ‘hat trick’ in the City Vaults.

Two dubious pellas, karma-tastic (x 2)

Tell the scousers 😉

Elanga and Wolte coming on.

That hairband defender is having a night-hair. (Cf. Anthony Gordon).

👏 👏 👏

Tonali is like the Duracell bunny. Plays an undershot pass, beats two of players who could have received it to the ball!

Good sign that Bruno is back on the bench.

Where’s Tonali playing? One second he’s centre of a back three the next he’s in their box!

Spelling.

Ah! Well it makes perfect sense now… 😉

Once (decades ago…) asked for a pint of Scotch in Dover. Barmaid gave me a ‘must be a mad Geordie’ kind of look before putting a glass to a whisky optic!!

Good points. There have been a fair few comments recently praising dangerous crosses, indirectly criticising the forwards for not making the right run/being in the right place (often far post or close enough to six yard line). You’re right though, they are only good crosses (for us) if that is what we have worke don or there’s a general expectation that in the cut and thrust of live play we get bodies into dangerous areas and hope for the best. They’re not good choices if we have worked on other patterns of play around the opponents box. I mean it is probably a bit of both to be realistic. Can’t plan for everything; a bit of Keegan-style getting out there and chucking a few grenades is always part of the game .

Both in full training, neither will feature (press conference). Who is this?

Gameweek 23 West Ham 2-1 Sunderland Burnley 2-3 Spurs Fulham 2-2 Brighton Man City 1-0 Wolves Bournemouth 1-1 Liverpool Brentford 1-0 Forest Palace 1-2 Chelsea Newcastle 3-2 Villa Arsenal 2-1 Man United Everton 1-1 Leeds

An average 5th place total is 65 points. I reckon 61 or 62 points might be enough this year. Mind you that is another 28-29 points in 16 games. Which is 1.75 ppg to 1.81 ppg. A marked improvement from the 1.50 ppg we’ve managed in the first 22 games so far.

This season seems quite unusual to me. There have been a lot of teams bunched around the middle to European spots. Thought I would have a look at how it compares to usual. Not sure about the best way to represent this, but here goes. Bear in mind that I am using points totals thus far (21 or 22 games played) or more accurately points per game (ppg) thus far and comparing to ppg for the whole season (38 or 42 games; 33 seasons). 1st, Arsenal on 2.27ppg. Pretty standard. Average is 2.29, 18 seasons higher, 15 seasons lower (highest 2.63, lowest 1.97). 2nd, Man City on 1.95ppg. Quite low. Average is 2.10, 25 seasons higher, 8 seasons lower (highest 2.55, lowest 1.76). 3rd, Villa on 1.95ppg. Pretty standard. Average is 1.93, 15 seasons higher, 18 seasons lower (highest 2.18, lowest 1.71). 4th, Liverpool on 1.64ppg. Very low. Average is 1.80, 31 seasons higher, 2 seasons lower (highest 2.08, lowest 1.58). 5th, Man Utd on 1.59ppg. Low. Average is 1.70, 27 seasons higher, 6 seasons lower (highest 1.97, lowest 1.47). 6th, Chelsea on 1.55. Quite low. Average is 1.62, 23 seasons higher, 10 seasons lower (highest 1.89, lowest 1.40). 7th, Brentford on 1.50ppg. Pretty standard. Average is 1.52, 17 seasons higher 16 seasons lower (highest 1.71, lowest 1.39). 8th, Sunderland on 1.50ppg. Quite high. Average is 1.44, 7 seasons higher, 26 seasons lower (highest 1.61, lowest 1.21). NUFC versus our average. currently 1.52ppg. High average. Average is 1.40, 12 seasons higher, 18 seasons lower (highest 2.05, lowest 0.89). Make of it what you will, but to me looks that if things continue as they have been, 4th or 5th place, and maybe 6th, might be achieved on unusually low points totals this year.

Gameweek 22 Man United 1-2 Man City Chelsea 2-1 Brentford Leeds 1-1 Fulham Liverpool 2-0 Burnley Spurs 2-1 West Ham Sunderland 0-2 Palace Forest 0-2 Arsenal Wolves 1-1 Newcastle Villa 3-1 Everton Brighton 3-2 Bournemouth

His performances were consistently low on xO … expected orgasms. Cum spittle grumpy fecker that he is.

But we ain’t getting one.