Paul Gascoigne

[Bowie]

'Nah... He's still dead'

[davy_fulla]

Legend man. Loved the game..probably too much. Could have turned out so much better. I know he's saying he's clean now but u always tho.k he's just in remission and will hit it again soon. Hope I'm wrong!

[Hanshithispantz]

'Nah... He's still dead'

Creased at that like

[Mick]

It wasn't easy watching that.

[Big Geordie]

Yup - tough viewing and you could see him on the verge of tears several times. I hope that lad stays clean - think he definitely still has plenty to offer the game, particularly with coaching kids. Would give him some focus (when he is ready)

[Dr Venkman]

I met him in 91 when he was at the peak of his powers and he was such a nice person. I was 7 and he was my hero, he took the time to have a chat and share my bag of midget gems. he told me he used to hide midget gems in his socks while he was training with England because bobby wouldn't let him eat them

:-)

 

Really hope he gets better.

[Baggio]

Yup - tough viewing and you could see him on the verge of tears several times. I hope that lad stays clean - think he definitely still has plenty to offer the game, particularly with coaching kids. Would give him some focus (when he is ready)

 

He was working with the kids here with Beardsley at one stage but he just keeps falling back into his old ways.

 

You can't help but feel sorry for him.

[Wilson]

1. One hour after playing for England, met 'showbiz pals' Danny Baker and Chris Evans in a Hampstead pub while still wearing his full kit... boots included.

2. When asked for his nationality before an operation, told the nurse: "Church Of England."

3. On a trip to London, jumped out of his car to demand"a go" on a workman's pneumatic drill. After getting the go-ahead, happily pounded thepavement to the amusement of shoppers.

4. On first meeting with Lazio's president to discuss his big-money move to the Italian club, was quick to tell the esteemed gentleman that he reminded him of Russ Abbot.

5. Organisers of Italia 90 TV coverage had the splendid idea of augmenting team line-ups with footage of each player mouthing his own name. Gascoigne's genius led him to subvert the process by, instead, mouthing'f***ing w***ker.' Broadcasters across the world had to use it all the way through the tournament.

6. Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham. Who, of course, is black.

7. Asked by a Norwegian camera crew if he had a message for England's upcoming opponents, immediately responded with, "Yes. F**k off, Norway." Then ran off laughing.

8. Turned up for England training the morning after then-manager Bobby Robson had called him "daft as a brush" with a floor brush sticking out of his sock.

9. When asked for a footballing comment while at Lazio, burped enthusiastically into a TV microphone. He was fined £39,000.

10. Decided it would be a great idea to have massive hair extensions. Looked a fool and had them taken out a day later.

11. After paying for ex-wife Sheryl's breasts implants, sent flowers to the hospital after the operation addressed to 'Dolly Parton.'

12. Astounded commuters in London by jumping on a double-decker in London's Piccadilly Circus and asking if he could have a drive. The bus driver saidyes, and the passengers thoroughly enjoyed Gazza's impromptu performance.

13. Sent a rose to the Wimbledon dressing room for Vinnie Jones after the infamous ball-squeezing incident. Got a toilet brush in return.

14. Set up best mate Jimmy 'Five Bellies' Gardner with a 'girl' he knew to be a transvestite.

15. Has taken the p*** out of refs constantly during his career. On one occasion he sniffed a hapless ref's armpit while he was holding his hand high to signal a free kick.

16. Undeterred by their frosty reactions, Gazza again tried to prove that refs have a sense of humour by yellow-carding the referee after the official had dropped his card during a Rangers v Hibs game. He was booked for his troubles.

17. While attempting to deflect the 'kebab controversy' which spelled the beginning of the end of his England career, assured reporters that his doner-munching antics following Middlesbrough's promotion to the Premiership would in no way affect his fitness before France 98. One reporter asked: "What do you feel like now?" Back came the inevitable response:"I feel like a kebab with onions."

18. As an apprentice desperate to impress then-Newcastle boss Jack Charlton, spent a week's money on fishing gear and begged the famous angler to give him a lesson. On arrival at the riverbank, Charlton promptly threw all but the rod out into the briny, then poured a bottle of Newcastle Brown into the water, dipped in the rod and within seconds was pulling out a whopper. Lesson over.

19. As 'perk' of boot-cleaning duties during his apprenticeship, took Kevin Keegan's Golas home to show his mates. But left them on the NewcastleUnderground.

20. When playing for England against Belgium in Italia 90, ridiculed Enzo Scifo as he lay on the ground clutching his leg. Gazza thought he wasplay-acting, so did a mime of his own which involved hopping on one leg with his tongue lolling out.

21. His attempt to jet off to Libya with Middlesbrough for a post-season tour was hampered by the fact he'd left his passport at home. An emotional Gazza wept at the check-in desk until a minion was despatched to bring itto the airport.

22. Celebrated his new-found hero status after flying home from Italia 90 by wearing a huge pair of fake plastic boobs and stomach bearing the legend 'Gazza.'

23. On meeting the president of Denmark's FA, pretended he could speak Danish. When invited to demonstrate, imitated The Muppet Show's Swedish Chef.

24. Conned Five Bellies into eating a mince pie after he'd scraped out the filling and replaced it with cat excrement.

25. Walked into the Middlesbrough canteen wearing nothing but his training socks and ordered lunch.

26. Paid £320 for a Mars Bar in a newsagents in his home town of Dunston, then told the shop owner to spend the change on sweets for local kids.

27. Whilst dining in the prestigious Bedford Arms Hotel in Woburn with a few of his Geordie mates, decided to place his erect member on the shoulder of a diner at the next table. Thinking someone had tapped him on theshoulder the gentleman turned his head only to have Gazza's helmet prod him in the cheek.

28. Took a documentary team to a beautiful Scottish cottage which he informed them was his new place, pretended he'd forgotten his key and knocked instead. When the door opened, told the befuddled housewife inside that he was doing a telly advert and wanted to know if she preferred Daz or Omo.

29. Crashed Middlesbrough's team bus at the club's training ground and caused £310,000 worth of damage.

30. While at Rangers, urinated over sleeping team-mate Richard Gough.

31. Handed £1000 over to Jimmy Five Bellies after betting that the burly boozer couldn't withstand a cigarette lighter's heat on the bridge of his nose for five seconds........Jimmy could. Twice.

32. After briefly giving up drinking, was advised to find a new interest. Picked bingo.

33. Bought a £1000 robot and programmed it to travel into Jimmy Five Bellies' room at Gazza Towers and announce: "Make a cup of tea, fat man."

34. Was banned from Liverpool's Cream nightclub in advance within days of joining Everton last summer, because the Evertonians who run the place wanted him to avoid temptation and stay fit.

35. Prepared for England matches during that hugely important tournament byplaying marathon games of tennis in the scorching midday sun.

36. Thought it would be appropriate to wear a blue fright wig before the 1991 FA Cup Final.

37. In his time, has agreed to dress as a Roman centurion, a clown, Oliver Hardy and Braveheart for photo opportunities.

38. While his Italia 90 team-mate was the hero of Hillsborough, marched into a Sheffield barber shop and demanded "a Waddle cut."

39. When Gazza signed for Spurs in 1988, he came down to finalise the deal with a bunch of his Geordie mates. They took over the posh hotel in Hadley Wood where Spurs were footing the bill and wreaked havoc. Gazza met then-chairman Irving Scholar and began talks by saying, "We'd like to thank you for the best three days of our lives"

40. Was asked to leave West Lodge Park Hotel in London after guests were treated to the sight of a naked Five Bellies swimming across the duck pond.

41. On his first night in Rome after signing for Lazio, gave his minder the slip, put his shoes by an open window and hid in a cupboard. The minder thought he'd committed suicide.

42. Recorded a video message for a corporate party and signed off with a cheery "Happy Christmas, you f***ing w***ers."

43. Greeted reporters in Rome by standing up, asking for silence, thenfarting at ear-splitting volume.

44. Told an interviewer that he was so superstitious about the number 13 that he couldn't ever bear to see the numbers 4 and 9 together. Oddly, the combination of 5 and 8 was deemed OK.

45. Shredded England team-mate Dennis Wise's Armani suit "for a laugh."

46. While staying at a Scottish hotel, drove across its golf course in hisfour-wheel drive Jeep.

47. While reputation preceded him in Italy, the English language did not. Hence, his Lazio debut was marked by a banner which read: 'Gazza's Boys,We Are Here. Shake Your Women And Drink Your Beer.'

48. Conversely, rival Italian supporters once hailed him with a banner which stated bluntly: 'Paul Gazza, You Are Fat Poofta.'

49. After being sent off while playing for Lazio, shook hands with virtually every member of the Genoa side.

50. While staying in a New Zealand hotel, was told there was no bacon for breakfast. Replied, "What, all the sheep in this country and there's no bloody bacon!"

 

what a guy

[Big Geordie]

Yup - tough viewing and you could see him on the verge of tears several times. I hope that lad stays clean - think he definitely still has plenty to offer the game, particularly with coaching kids. Would give him some focus (when he is ready)

 

He was working with the kids here with Beardsley at one stage but he just keeps falling back into his old ways.

 

You can't help but feel sorry for him.

 

Difference was, that he wasn't sober then. Perhaps he might be best of staying around Bournemouth now because he seems happier there.

[Guest johnson293]

Bit of history being re-written when they talked about him snubbing Man utd in 1988 - Piers saying they were then 'the biggest team in the country'.

 

Pretty sure Liverpool were back then.

 

Agree with other comments - difficult viewing at times, was welling up myself at some of it, and hard not to sympathse with him for some of it, too.

 

Lets hope he is over the worst of his addictions though, and can get/keep his life on track again.

[Sifu]

Ah missed this. Will it be available on ITV player?

[summerof69]

Ahh didn't know there was another Gazza at Newcastle.

 

 

Gazza's nephew signs for Newcastle United after scoring 22 goals in 30-minutes

Jan 15 2009

Newcastle United have signed the new Gazza - former Magpies and England star Paul Gascoigne's seven-year-old nephew Cameron Gascoigne, who has been snapped up after scoring 22 goals in a 30-minute junior match says the Daily Star.

Trash Talk says: Sounds like Uncle Paul has been passing on a few tips.

[newsted]

Ah missed this. Will it be available on ITV player?

 

ITV Player is sh*t like, but you're not missing much. I thought G8, hee hee, was a slurring shadow of his former self. I hate Piers f*cking Morgan with a vengeance but he was a bit gentle with the guy who should have been our Maradona/Messi/CRonaldo but spunked it, the daft get. His best year iirc was 1991 when he got Spurs to the Cup Final and then knacked himself at the second attempt (after trying to kick Garry Parker's heart out) when he went for Gary Charles's knee. Just don't sound like you're called Gary in his vicinity.

 

I really want to feel sorry for him, and he may have many redeeming factors, but he's a f**king headcase. He was a brilliant footballer though. I just wonder how much damage he's done to himself. And I think he's not through it yet.

 

Jeez.

[Guest gggg]

Bit of history being re-written when they talked about him snubbing Man utd in 1988 - Piers saying they were then 'the biggest team in the country'.

 

Pretty sure Liverpool were back then.

 

They'd had the biggest attendances all over the country since the 60's.

[Bowie]

6. Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham. Who, of course, is black.

 

[ponsaelius]

6. Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham. Who, of course, is black.

 

 

:lol:

[Ronaldo]

That list is f***ing hilarious, like.

[Mick]

6. Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham. Who, of course, is black.

 

 

I remember that and it actually happened and was well reported at the time. 

 

 

[Ronaldo]

50. While staying in a New Zealand hotel, was told there was no bacon for breakfast. Replied, "What, all the sheep in this country and there's no bloody bacon!"

 

14. Set up best mate Jimmy 'Five Bellies' Gardner with a 'girl' he knew to be a transvestite.

 

27. Whilst dining in the prestigious Bedford Arms Hotel in Woburn with a few of his Geordie mates, decided to place his erect member on the shoulder of a diner at the next table. Thinking someone had tapped him on theshoulder the gentleman turned his head only to have Gazza's helmet prod him in the cheek.

 

6. Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham. Who, of course, is black.

 

41. On his first night in Rome after signing for Lazio, gave his minder the slip, put his shoes by an open window and hid in a cupboard. The minder thought he'd committed suicide.

 

33. Bought a £1000 robot and programmed it to travel into Jimmy Five Bellies' room at Gazza Towers and announce: "Make a cup of tea, fat man."

 

 

My personal favourites.

[ponsaelius]

41. On his first night in Rome after signing for Lazio, gave his minder the slip, put his shoes by an open window and hid in a cupboard. The minder thought he'd committed suicide.

 

:lol:

 

this is the best

 

Edit: Ronaldo

[Tsunami]

He's still kidding himself & has no chance until he stops that. There's no way he's not had a drink in 11 months not unless the lass at work who lives and drinks in Dunston has been seeing things.

 

There's no doubt he's trying but he has a huge challenge & I simply don't think he has the mental toughness to do it.

 

Shame.

[Guest PhilB]

Bit of history being re-written when they talked about him snubbing Man utd in 1988 - Piers saying they were then 'the biggest team in the country'.

 

Pretty sure Liverpool were back then.

 

Agree with other comments - difficult viewing at times, was welling up myself at some of it, and hard not to sympathse with him for some of it, too.

 

Lets hope he is over the worst of his addictions though, and can get/keep his life on track again.

 

He recently said this

 

"Kenny was the first one to come in for me. He said ‘I want to sign you'...Ian Rush was playing at Juventus at the time. Newcastle wanted 2.2m, and I couldn’t believe that because I’d come up through the ranks from nothing.

 

"Liverpool could only afford 2m because Ian Rush was coming back from Juventus. So he said, 'will you wait a year'? To be fair, they [Newcastle] got rid of Chris Waddle, they got rid of Peter Beardsley, and I was only on 25 quid a week, but the money never bothered me. I couldn’t wait around".

 

Gascoigne missed out on playing in one of Liverpool's most skilful, and entertaining teams, something he's acutely aware of:

 

"People talk about Man united and Spurs but Liverpool were the team. Liverpool at that time played football the way Barcelona play football now".

 

 

[Cronky]

Just seen a recording, and he still looked very fragile. Piers Morgan's relentless optimism wasn't at all convincing.

 

Perhaps things were always likely to turn bad for him, but the moves to Spurs and then Lazio weren't the best ones. It was sad to hear the account of Spurs gazumphing Man U's offer by saying they'd buy his parents a house, and then members of his family all pitching in to see what they could get out of the deal. It didn't sound like they were really thinking of what was best for him.

[Anderson]

5. Organisers of Italia 90 TV coverage had the splendid idea of augmenting team line-ups with footage of each player mouthing his own name. Gascoigne's genius led him to subvert the process by, instead, mouthing'f***ing w***ker.' Broadcasters across the world had to use it all the way through the tournament.

 

23. On meeting the president of Denmark's FA, pretended he could speak Danish. When invited to demonstrate, imitated The Muppet Show's Swedish Chef.

 

28. Took a documentary team to a beautiful Scottish cottage which he informed them was his new place, pretended he'd forgotten his key and knocked instead. When the door opened, told the befuddled housewife inside that he was doing a telly advert and wanted to know if she preferred Daz or Omo.

 

45. Shredded England team-mate Dennis Wise's Armani suit "for a laugh."

 

:lol:

[Newcastle Fan]

27. Whilst dining in the prestigious Bedford Arms Hotel in Woburn with a few of his Geordie mates, decided to place his erect member on the shoulder of a diner at the next table. Thinking someone had tapped him on theshoulder the gentleman turned his head only to have Gazza's helmet prod him in the cheek.

 

 

:lol: