Which footballer are you most like?

[Disco]

Right footed Hugo Viana for me. No pace, heading or tackling ability but give me a bit of time and space and I can do ok. Even though Im loath to admit it and don't like playing there Im miles better at right full back. 100% clean sheet record for NOFC n all despite being a dwarf.

[Yorkie]

Stephen Carr.

[NEEJ]

Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Ball greedy big man, poor in the air, love trying needless tricks and flicks and occasionally score an absolute wondergoal.

Then again its probably Shola 

[Carlito]

Mark Viduka or Kluivert probably.

 

Fat and lazy but good technique and vision.

[Parky]

Mark Viduka or Kluivert probably.

 

Fat and lazy but good technique and apetite.

 

FYP

[TimoB]

Laurent Robert, little effort but can hit a great shot when I feel like it. More defensive than Robert though and not as one footed, maybe more like Bernard just aiming for higher than a pancake shop.

[Dave]

Twelve posts in five years. Respect.

[Carlito]

Mark Viduka or Kluivert probably.

 

Fat and lazy but good technique and apetite.

 

FYP

 

All food and no exercise make me a full boy

[Dokko]

There's no one really like me, and there's good reason for that!

 

When i was younger and fitter I was one of the fastest people at school over short distances, could hit a ball harder than a freight train, could score rockets from halfways, head with accuracy and cross with pin point accuracy while sticking in a good old tackle. What i lacked was control, technique, dribbling skills and staying fit, i could get injured 4 times in a match, no problem  It was probably down to the fact i couldn't dribble or beat a man, so i just ran through them, much easier. (I did get a little better) Oh half decent at freekicks and long range passing, a lot less accurate at short distances, which was always weird. Lastly, very one footed, left all the way.

 

 

 

[Yorkie]

Laurent Robert, little effort but can hit a great shot when I feel like it. More defensive than Robert though and not as one footed, maybe more like Bernard just aiming for higher than a pancake shop.

 

So you've bettered four/five years in the Premier League then have you?

[Thespence]

There's no one really like me, and there's good reason for that!

 

When i was younger and fitter I was one of the fastest people at school over short distances, could hit a ball harder than a freight train, could score rockets from halfways, head with accuracy and cross with pin point accuracy while sticking in a good old tackle. What i lacked was control, technique, dribbling skills and staying fit, i could get injured 4 times in a match, no problem  It was probably down to the fact i couldn't dribble or beat a man, so i just ran through them, much easier. (I did get a little better) Oh half decent at freekicks and long range passing, a lot less accurate at short distances, which was always weird. Lastly, very one footed, left all the way.

 

You remind me of Wayne Brown (Leicester City)

[Dokko]

There's no one really like me, and there's good reason for that!

 

When i was younger and fitter I was one of the fastest people at school over short distances, could hit a ball harder than a freight train, could score rockets from halfways, head with accuracy and cross with pin point accuracy while sticking in a good old tackle. What i lacked was control, technique, dribbling skills and staying fit, i could get injured 4 times in a match, no problem  It was probably down to the fact i couldn't dribble or beat a man, so i just ran through them, much easier. (I did get a little better) Oh half decent at freekicks and long range passing, a lot less accurate at short distances, which was always weird. Lastly, very one footed, left all the way.

 

You remind me of Wayne Brown (Leicester City)

 

My family say a lot like my Great Grandad (looks as well (poor him)) - He played for Newcastle (though moved to play for Tranmere)

[Guest Heneage]

Right footed Hugo Viana for me. No pace, heading or tackling ability but give me a bit of time and space and I can do ok. Even though Im loath to admit it and don't like playing there Im miles better at right full back. 100% clean sheet record for NOFC n all despite being a dwarf.

 

That's actually spot on having watched you. You are a right footed Viana, not quick but very tricky and pick out a cracking pass.

[Optimistic Nut]

Andy O'Brien - solidish but prone to the odd howler

[HawK]

There's no one really like me, and there's good reason for that!

 

When i was younger and fitter I was one of the fastest people at school over short distances, could hit a ball harder than a freight train, could score rockets from halfways, head with accuracy and cross with pin point accuracy while sticking in a good old tackle. What i lacked was control, technique, dribbling skills and staying fit, i could get injured 4 times in a match, no problem  It was probably down to the fact i couldn't dribble or beat a man, so i just ran through them, much easier. (I did get a little better) Oh half decent at freekicks and long range passing, a lot less accurate at short distances, which was always weird. Lastly, very one footed, left all the way.

 

 

 

 

Martins

[Dinho lad]

Asprilla - Even I don't know what I'm going to do next.

[TimoB]

Laurent Robert, little effort but can hit a great shot when I feel like it. More defensive than Robert though and not as one footed, maybe more like Bernard just aiming for higher than a pancake shop.

 

Plenty of time yet, I wish.

 

So you've bettered four/five years in the Premier League then have you?

Twelve posts in five years. Respect.

 

And they've all been top quality, hopefully?

[Yorkie]

Right footed Hugo Viana for me. No pace, heading or tackling ability but give me a bit of time and space and I can do ok. Even though Im loath to admit it and don't like playing there Im miles better at right full back. 100% clean sheet record for NOFC n all despite being a dwarf.

 

Fuck. Now you tell us.

[Dokko]

Laurent Robert, little effort but can hit a great shot when I feel like it. More defensive than Robert though and not as one footed, maybe more like Bernard just aiming for higher than a pancake shop.

 

Plenty of time yet, I wish.

 

So you've bettered four/five years in the Premier League then have you?

Twelve posts in five years. Respect.

 

And they've all been top quality, hopefully?

That one was a let down tbf. 

[Thespence]

David Roche

[Guest n4e]

Higuain. There are players much better physically, but i'll be on anything in the box and score a shit load of goals. Only playign 5 aside at the minute but it's still the same, second top scorer on our side was 50/60 goals behind me last season.

[madras]

David Roche

you've been kneecapped ?

[Guest diddimz]

When I was fit, I was a pacy strong striker, now that I'm unfit, I'd say more like Viduka, Im a Fat Aussie Bastard

[LiquidAK]

Reading through this thread has made me hungry for some 5-a-side action, but as college has finished now I have no-where to get that.

 

I'd consider myself as a Steven Taylor. I'm decent in the air, can tackle okay but often get a bit carried away and end up kicking people. I'm not great at passing yet always try and pull off some ridiculously difficult pass and it never works. Also often get ideas above my station and go running out of defence, which very occasionally will result in a goal. What I lack in skill and ability, I make up for in determination, chase every lost cause etc.

[TaylorJ_01]

Pros - Very pacy, tall player. Thunderbolt shot. Good dribbling.

 

Cons - Awful stamina, terrible composure (leading to some bad finishing) and too panicky on the ball sometimes.

 

Conclusion - I'm a great player to have a kickabout with, but I've always struggled in real matches unless as an impact sub.

 

For this reason Obafemi Martins!