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NUFC Season Player/Staff Ratings


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Harper - 7 - Solid season, but not magnificent.

Coloccini - 9 - Outstanding and consistent in defence

Enrique - 8 - Very Solid, but has let himself down a bit recently with some unsettled behaviour

Nolan - 9 - Scored some very important goals and led the team on the pitch. Invaluable hub to the team.

Campbell - 5 - Adequate 4th choice striker

Williamson - 6.5 - the weak link in our excellent defence but still puts in a good shift and knows what he can and can't do.

Barton - 9 - Games were won because Barton pulled all the strings. Excellent season.

Guthrie - 6 - Came in and did a good job on the occassions he was needed.

Carroll - 9 - Scored important goals then made us rich and didn't really score for the team he signed for!

Routledge - 5 - Never impressed.

Lovenkrands - 6 - Not the best striker, but when called upon in the second half of the season he has got some important goals

Simpson - 7 - Improved since his injury and done us proud

Perch - 4 - Dreadful start to the season, then got a silly suspension when we actually needed him.

Gosling - n/a - No point judging him now, our gamble was clearly based on getting him fit for the future.

Ryan Taylor - 5.5 - Generally a let down and when he was actually needed he got himself sent off. However small flurry of performances at the end affords him a small reprieve

Smith - 4 - Endless Letdown

Jonas - 7 - hit and miss player but works his socks off and has had his moments

Xisco - 5 - Still don't know how good he is

Shola Ameobi - 7 - Frustrating inconsistency but scored some crucial goals as he always does and brings a bit of humour onto the pitch

Tiote - 9 - Phenomenal debut season. Can be a great player. Would have gotten 10 were it not for the suspensions.

LuaLua - 5.5 - Limited appearances and has been unlucky, but worth one final look.

Krul - 6.5 - Effective debut season but must now push on and learn from his errors.

Taylor - 6.5 - Disappointing for much of the season but showing signs of bringing it back together.

Kadar - 5 - Needs to get fit and play more out on loan.

Vuckic - 5 - See Kadar

Ranger - 6 - Decent cameos really.

Ferguson - 6.5 - Good prospect

Donaldson - 5 - Good to see him get a run out in the cup

Tavernier - 5 - See Donaldson

Ben Arfa - 6.5 - Shame he got injured

Airey - 5 - Made his debut, all there is to say

Kuqi - 5 - Thanks for giving us a hand

Sammy Ameobi - 5 - Legendary


Hughton - 7 - Thanks Chris

Pardew - 7.5 - Promising start

Ashley - 5 - Hasn't really done anything

Llambias - 1 - Cocked up by not having any contingency for selling Carroll on January 31

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Harper -6-Average player. Average performances. Good servant. Happy his shoulder is intact

Coloccini -8-He has the same failings as before, but has used his intelligence to play in a way that leaves them unexposed. Crucial to the team.

Enrique - 8 - Consistent performer, and combines with Gutierrez to create a dangerous left side. I hope he stays.

Nolan - 7 - Enigma. His allround midfield play is still poor and limits the team, but goals and prescence make him vital.

Campbell -1-Give the old man his final paycheck and let him go. He has contributed little other than failure this season.

Williamson -7- Solid Premiership defender, which is more than we could have expected.

Barton -8.5-Quite a turnaround. A player integral and influential in our success. Better with Carroll.

Guthrie - 5- As before, he is simply not good enough to play consistently at this level.

Carroll - 8- The transformation into top level striker was sharp and astounding. Ambition has torn us apart.

Routledge - 6-Was useful in the early months and desperatelt needed in the later ones. He should be better than he is.

Lovenkrands - 5-Poor player. His prescence on the pitch is an indictment of those running the club.

Simpson - 7 - Continued on from last season, and seems comfortably good at this level.

Perch - 1-He has no business at this club or at this level.

Gosling - 0-Irrelevant. May gain relevance in future.

Ryan Taylor - 3-Has continually failed to produce meaningful performances for the club.

Smith - 0-Irrelevant

Jonas - 8- Always brings great effort. Sometimes brings great quality. I still feel as though he could give more.

Xisco - 0-Irrelevant

Shola Ameobi - 7 - He's a decent striker in this league and has earned a bench spot for another season.

Tiote - 7.5 - Done fantastically well in a new league/team. Discipline must improve. Made some extremely costly errors.

LuaLua - 5.5 - Irrelevant.

Krul - 7-I think he will be good in the future. Decent now.

Taylor - 6 - Contributed little until the end, when he went on goal scoring spree

Kadar - 0-Irrelevant

Vuckic - 0-Irrelevant

Ranger - 6 - Potential is there. Is the will?

Ferguson - 6 - Showed talent. Need to see more.

Donaldson - 0-Irrelevant

Tavernier - 0-Irrelevant

Ben Arfa - 8-When on the pitch he did very well. Signing shows ambition I did not know we possesed

Airey - 0-Irrelevant

Kuqi - 0-Irrelevant

Sammy Ameobi - 0-Irrelevant. I am happy to see him play for the club.

Hughton - 8 - Did well with the squad he was given. Hit rough patch, but seemed well on way to safety

Pardew - 7 - Has done well thus far. The test is the summer an next season

Ashley - 7-Has been invisible, which is all you want from your owner

Llambias -0-Irrelevant



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ben arfa over løvenkrands....how many games did Arfa play?


if løvenkrands was 4th choice i think you should put that into consideration....i think he have done better!


I have no idea what this rubbish is meant to imply.


Gonna sleep on my answers.

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Harper - 6.5: Was content with his season although moving forward he must only be back-up.


Simpson - 7.5: Really surprised me this season, I came into the season expecting him to be a weak-link, but he's proven to be a very adequate premier-league player.

Coloccini - 8.5: In my opinion, only behind Cheik as our player of the season.

Williamson - 7: I'd love him as back-up next season, but likke Harper, if we want to move forward he can't start for us.

Enrique - 8: Would have him on par with Coloccini, but his last 6 or 7 games were pretty pathetic and he let himself and the team down.


Barton - 8: Much improved, and who would have thought someone with his past could be idolised by the fans now? Integral part of the team

Nolan - 8: Crucial goals, and he actually contributed everywhere else in the latter half of the season too. Good club captain too, we really missed his leadership today against West Brom.

Tiote - 9: What more needs to be said <3

Jonas - 8: Is my most improved player of the season, just wish he'd have more confidence and take players on more often.


Ameobi - 6: He tries hard, but he's really a very limited footballer.

Lovenkrands - 5: See above

Best - 7.5: Would have probably got more if he played more, but what a transformation. He was influential in the middle part of the season after Carroll left.

Carroll - 8.5: Have to give him that for the crucial goals he scored.


Krul - 7: Still not entirely sold on him, but he's a great shot-stopper and I'd be content enough with him between the sticks next season


S. Taylor - 7: Pretty small sample size but 3 goals in 3 games for a centre half is a pretty good return.

Perch - 3: Hopeless. I'm being kind with a 3.

Campbell - 3: See above


Guthrie - 6: He did his job most of the time tbh. He's a back-up central midfielder and despite being limited he had a few good games and a few bad ones.

Smith - 1: Even worse than Perch and Campbell.

Ryan Taylor - 6: Actually played alright in his limited game-time, probably a handy enough squad player to have next season because of his versatility.

Ferguson - 7: Was a very bright spark, looking forward to seeing more of him next year.


Ranger - 4: Might be harsh on the kid but with the amount of minutes he had and to only score 1 goal (And that was in the league cup) is not a good enough return from a striker. Needs to spend a season on loan in the Championship.

Kuqi - N/A


Pardew - 7.5: Has won all of us around, which he deserves lots of credit for. Unfair to judge him on this season really, he'll be earning his quid in this transfer window and next season.


Overall I'm very satisfied with our season, today was a very disappointing result but 'this group of lads' deserve a lot of credit for the way they've played this season and I'm left optimistic as to what next season can bring.


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Impressed with Ferguson, to a point Lua Lua too, Kazenga doesnt seem as confident taking players on but seems to have a decent pass and composure to pick it.


I wouldn't say anyone has disappointed this season too much. We all know Smith would be an abomination, also most people were rightly pessimistic in regards to Perch. Ranger needs playing time and a loan and Campbell was past his best. Routledge comes close I didnt think he was terrible when give the chance though, certainly no worse than Raylor.


Barton, Colo, Williamson, Simpson, Best, Tiote, Carroll, Enrique, Jonas and Nolan all over achieved and were big bonuses.



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Guest axel

Harper - 5

Coloccini - 9

Enrique - 8

Nolan - 8

Campbell - 1 - f*** off.

Williamson 6

Barton - 8

Guthrie - 5

Carroll - 8

Routledge - 3

Lovenkrands - 4

Simpson - 5

Perch - 2

Gosling - 1

Ryan Taylor - 5

Smith - 2

Jonas - 7

Xisco - 2

Shola Ameobi - 4

Tiote - 8

LuaLua - 4

Krul - 6

Taylor - 6

Kadar - 1

Vuckic - 1

Ranger - 4

Ferguson - 7

Donaldson - 3

Tavernier - 3

Ben Arfa - 3

Airey - 1

Kuqi - 2

Sammy Ameobi - 1

Best - 6


Hughton - 6 -

Pardew - 6  -




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Player ratings:


Harper: 7 Competent season from Stevie. Had some injury problems but i think his games out will be better for the club in the long term with Krul getting some experience. Only has another season or two of being premier league quality imo but if we are looking to improve we have to invest more game time and experience in Krul and Forster


Krul : 7 I have to admit i'm slightly disappointed by some of the mistakes he has made and that he hasn't cemented a first 11 spot when he has huge chances to do so. Some great performances like Arsenal away in amongst an up and down season.


Forster: 8 Couldn't ask more from a loaned out player. Broken the clean sheet record and gotten plenty of playing time. Not the best league and team to be playing GK for but it is still a toss up between him and Krul for the future #1 Gk gloves



Danny Simpson: 7.5 Don't think he has too much improvement left in him but has performed to the point where he is undoubtedly first choice, which he wasn't at the start of the season, and a competent PL right back.


James Perch: 3 An absolute calamity in the first five games of the season at right back and whenever i've seen him fill in at left back. Brought in as a fullback to me he has looked better every time i have seen him in the centre of the pitch. Not good enough for the PL, even for a utility player, would prefer youth start ahead of him.


Ryan Taylor: 5.5 Struggles with a big injury but before that he was quite good in our Carling Cup games scoring two goals. Player ok in the centre against Chelsea, though his set pieces were poor.


Mike Williamson: 7 Done well, has looked slow footed in a few games and isn't dominant in the air despite his height and frame. Works hard and hasn't had made too many mistakes despite his lack of experience at the top level.


Steven Taylor: 6 Probably got a little complacent in his recovery from injury and was overweight coming into it. Looks alot better now perhaps due to being put on the bench by Pardew. Still abit of a dumb ass but if he has a smart Cb like Colo alongside him it negates it somewhat.


Fabrizio Coloccini: 8.5 Top season from the Argentine, performed like the player we were expecting when we signed him. Still iffy on high balls and not really that suited to the English game he has been able to adapt and has been our best defender this season.


Sol Campbell: 4.5 Not going to criticise the signing as it was a smart one in theory but he is definitely passed it now at this level and hasn't looked fit all season. Some comical moments that cost us dearly. I think i remember one game where he looked like his old self, but it's time to hang up the boots or play at a lower level.


Jose Enrique: 8 Strong season from Jose though did look the leaving rumours did get to him abit. Link up play with Jonas was fantastic as always. Defensively I can't think of a better LB in the prem. Pity that we are losing a player that is good enough for a team playing in Europe, were we hope to be.


Shane Ferguson: 7.5 Promising signs from the youngster, though he does need to hit the gym this summer. hasn't looked out of place at all when he has featured, but shouldn't be first choice next season at all.


Tamas Kadar: He is getting a bit old to be a player with potential. Really like him, but he has struggled with injuries yet again. Next season is make it or break it for Tamas.



Joey Barton: 7.5 Apart from Blackburn has kept up his side of the bargain off the field which is huge for the club. On the pitch he has done well playing out of position ( I think he is best on the right of a midfield 3) and created alot of Carroll's goals. Has taken control of a few games this season which has been a joy to watch.


Wayne Routlege: 5.5 Was mediocre and didn't take the step up very well. Has done really well at QPR and I wish him the best with them next season. Getting rid of him in Jan was a bit mistake imo as we lacked depth and speed.


Kevin Nolan: 7 I am abit of a hater and cringed when he was made captain as I knew it meant he would be starting alot of games for us. Despite that he has been deadly inside the box from set plays this season and his goals, however jammy they were, have been huge in keeping us up. As a captain he has done so well in garnering a good team spirit despite s*** man management from above. If we are aiming for Europe I maintain my position that he isn't good enough to start as alot of games do pass him by in midfield due to very poor physical attributes and he such a waste when he tries shooting from outside the box.


Cheik Tiote: 8.5 What a legend! Just been so important for us. Runs all day and such a strong player in midfield. Would hate to think how we would have gone if Smith was our starting CDM. Great on the ball, if he can reduce his fouling and yellow cards he will be such an amazing player.


Alan Smith: 5.5 Not as disastrous as I and most others feared when he did play but it's clear he doesn't have the legs to be an affective CDM. Still commits silly fouls outside the box, but is a good bloke and I think he is a good character to have in the dressing room. Hope we have seen the last of him though.


Danny Guthrie: 5.5 Yet to prove he can hack it in the Premier League. Some shockers like away to WBA, but performed well in the appearances he made while Tiote was out injured in the last few months. Don't have a problem with him staying at the club though I would prefer Gosling be given a chance to impress ahead of Guthrie.


Dan Gosling: Write off of a season due to injury which hopefully will not plague him into the future.


Jonas Gutierrez:  6.5 Cops alot of undeserved flack on this forum. So important as he is the only midfielder we have that can run at players with the ball and stayed fit all season. Delivery improved slightly in my view and performed better as the season went on, especially in the last 2 months. I have a sneaking suspicion we have seen the last of him.


HBA: I don't think he is the player some expect him to be but he was a joy to watch for the few games he did play. If he lives up to the hype it will be faptastic.


Vuckic: Really thought he would see more from him but like Kadar just been injury prone all season.


Kazenga Lua Lua: 7.5 Really good loan spell away to Brighton and has looked ok when playing for the Toon this season.


Xisco: 5 Set up a goal in his nly first team performance this season (I think) but got red carded and lost any momentum he might have had. Has scored a few on his loan move away to Spain which will hopefully be enough to end this nightmare.


Shola Ameobi: 6 The guy is a legend but just not good enough for PL football anymore. Playing him is just holding back players like Ranger. Size and strength is an asset and can't knock his commitment to the team.


Peter Lovenkrands: 5 Just such a weak player. Has some speed and a decent left foot but runs like a headless chicken 9 games out of 10. Time to go and make way for better players.


Shefki Kuqi: 6 Brought in as a stopgap and has ran like a mad man whenever i've seen him play.


Leon Best: 7 earned himself another season at the club and will probably be first backup to our first choice strikers next season


Andy Carroll: 8 Our best performer first half of the season but threw it all away for Liverpool... :(




Pardew 7 Job done in a way but big tests to come.

Hughton 7 Look, he was good but I don't think he would have ever been able to take us anywhere

Ashley 3.5 Took an unnecessary risk in swapping managers mid season. Poor January transfer window


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'Ashley 3.5 Took an unnecessary risk in swapping managers mid season. Poor January transfer window'


see, this is an example where Ashley can't win anymore ... the relationship damage is done.


We stayed up .. so was it an unnecessary risk or a necessary step to ensure survival ?


Teams that didn't change their mgr mid-season : West Ham, Blackpool, Birmingham (you see where I am going with this?)


teams that did : Us, Liverpool, West Brom, Blackburn etc


ok, so there are teams that survived and didn't change, like Wolves and Wigan ...


We have to judge the action by the result. We changed mgr, and stayed up ... if we didn't manage, MAYBE we would have stayed up anyway ...


I don't know, I felt shocked, numb and embarassed when Chris was sacked ... but it could be, it was a cold hard business decision that actually worked ...

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Guest sicko2ndbest



Hughton 7 - but was replaced at the right time.

Pardew 8 - with the resources he had he has done remarkably well

Ashley - 6 got a huge sum and was decisive in his management change. Unlike west ham he didn't wait until the horse bolted. Left us woefully short after jan

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Harper: 6.5  Harper's basically the same keeper he was 10 years ago, except for his reactions and agility. A safe pair of hands but likely to be beaten more times than not by fizzing low shots. Does he fill me completely with confidence? No. Do I worry when I see him in the team? No


Krul : 5.5  Makes a good save - he's a great prospect. Makes a mistake - he's young and learning. I don't want him in the first team. He's a good shot stopper (which keeper at that age isn't?) but he's weak in the more adavances aspects of keeping. Namely, positioning, crosses and distribution. I've heard him compared to Given, but frankly he's not even a patch on the keeper Given was at 23.


Forster: 7  His distribution is also in need of improvement, but he deals with crosses generally well and his shot stopping is better than Krul's. Yes it's a poor league up there, but the ball doesn't know that the striker kicking it is a par-time roofer. A save from point-blank range is a good save in any league. We need to see more of him, but I think he's the best we've got. Well done, Fraser!


Danny Simpson: 5.5  A traffic cone could feasibly contribute more going forward. Defensively he's decent at times but usually get his positioning woefully wrong at least once a game - as we saw yesterday. He basically undermines what should be a strong defence. Replace.


James Perch: 3   p*ss off.


Ryan Taylor: 4   An abomination of a footballer. Never again should he wear our colours.


Mike Williamson: 7   Good season from Mike. Will struggle with better players because of his lack of athleticism, but generally looks very solid. Badly needs to stop playing the 'no nonsense' card, though. Nowt wrong with taking a touch and passing the ball, Mike. You are a professional footballer. Good season nontheless, and i'm content for him to be in the team.


Steven Taylor: 6   Gets an extra point for his last 3 performances. Needs to lose a bit of weight and stop charging the ball like he's Samba. Decent squad player to some extent.


Fabricio Coloccini: 8.5  Probably our best player this season. A very good defender who has his weaknesses but generally plays around them.


Sol Campbell: 4.5  Didn't want him. Finished as a professional athlete and a terrible attitude to boot. p*ss off.


Jose Enrique: 8  Very good player, very good season. Not irreplacable. Thanks for the memories of that wonder goal against the mighty Nottingham Forest, and that lovely cross for Ranger against Bolton.


Shane Ferguson: 6  Looks a good athlete with a nice touch. A million miles from the finished article, however. Looking forward to seeing him develop further.


Joey Barton: 8  Very good season for Joey. Looks the player he was at City and more. That said, yesterday once again highlighted why he can't be played centrally ever again. Wide or nowt. Not sure where that leaves him if he are to play 4-3-3. Well done, Joey!


Wayne Routlege: 5.5  Some good performances and some very poor performances. Thanks for last season, but probably not quite good enough.


Kevin Nolan: 7  Good fella, good captain. Appreciate his influence on the rest of the squad and he's obviously very popular with the crowd, which is important. As a player he's not what he was at Bolton, sadly. His athelticism is non-existant and his passing leaves a fair bit to be desired. That leaves his goals, which have dried up since Carroll's departure. Good season, not great.


Cheik Tiote: 8.5   Easily one of the signings of the season. The player we've needed for years and hopefully we'll hold onto him. Can improve further by cutting out the needless fouls and silly passes in our own third. The fact he hasn't been booked twice in a game suggests he can certainly do the former. Great season, Cheik!


Alan Smith: 2  Just p*ss off and retire you talentless c***. Pathetic.


Danny Guthrie: 4 Not good enough at this level. Hopefully won't make the bench next season.


Jonas Gutierrez: 7 He's played well in the latter half of the season but still doesn't good enough goals or assists. Works his bollocks off for the team and created space for others. Can certainly be improved upon but he's won me over. Well played!


HBA: 7  Lovely game against Everton. We'll need to add a couple of attacking players to get the best out of him, but he looks the real deal in terms of athleticism and ability on the ball. Very excited about the lad.


Shola Ameobi: 4  I can't actually think of anything he does well on a consistant basis. A symbol of everything that is wrong with the club, frankly. Should have been shipped out years ago. Can't run, can't head, can't score. Pathetic excuse for a striker.


Peter Lovenkrands: 4  He gets into good goalscoring positions but gets bullied out of games too frequently and is usually completely invisible against the better teams. I appreciate his effort at times but he's just not a very good footballer at all. It's beyond disgraceful that this guy has started so many games this season.


Leon Best: 7  I like him. Has some nice attributes, is relatively young and has a seemingly good attitude. Hope we see the best of him next season.


Andy Carroll: 8  Proved me completely wrong. One hell of a striker who played a huge part in getting us so many goals in the first half of a season. Quite astonishing that our academy actually produced a player worth over £10m.

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Harper - 6

Krul - 6

Simpson - 6.5

Perch - 4.5

Enrique - 8

Williamson - 7

Coloccini - 8

Campbell - 4.5

S.Taylor - 6.5

R.Taylor - 5

Routledge - 5.5

Barton - 7.5

Jonas - 7

Nolan - 7.5

Tiote - 8

Smith - 5

Guthrie - 5.5

Ferguson - 6

Ameobi - 6

Best - 7

Lovenkrands - 5.5

Ranger - 6

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Guest firetotheworks

Harper: 6 - I think both he and Krul have weaknesses, Harper's positioning and know how are decent and he still makes some good saves. However, I think his athleticism isn't good enough, which might not necessarily be his fault, but it's certainly to our detriment.


Krul : 6 - Krul's shot-stopping is very good and his all-round game has improved, but he's often guilty of being too confident with the sides of his game that will, hopefully, come with experience. Ie his positioning, and cross catching. I'd still play him over Harper, since one is on the up and the other is on the decline.


Danny Simpson: 6 - A good start to the season, where people were talking about an England call-up (more to do with the incredible lack of quality in that position though) at that point he was playing incisively, cutting out passes and jostling with wingers. Now he's gone back to his old habit of playing in front of wingers and backing off like a fanny. I don't know if he's been told to do that, but it doesn't suit his game at all.


James Perch: 3 - Fucking rubbish at this level.


Ryan Taylor: 4 - Below average at almost everything except his delivery, which, to be fair on occasion is excellent.


Mike Williamson: 7.5 - I like Williamson a lot, he is the anchor that gives Coloccini's soul license to soar, and from what I hear, commands the offside trap brilliantly most of the time. He's too no-nonsense at times, but then sometimes Coloccini and Enrique are too clever, so maybe they should compare notes.


Steven Taylor: 5 - I don't like him, I don't think he knows anything about the craft of defending at all. Saying that, he's fairly comfortable on the ball and is a threat from set-pieces. If we could sell him for a decent amount, I would. If not, I think he's okay as a back-up, but certainly not better than Williamson.


Fabricio Coloccini:8.5 - I love this man, he can do, and does, very little wrong. He accounts for his weaknesses and sticks to his strengths. He writes poems with his feet and delivers them via angels. He is the love of my life and is probably the player of the season.


Sol Campbell: 4 - Should have retired, it's better to burn out than to fade away and all that.


Jose Enrique: 8 - He's a very good footballer and one that we should be keeping. It looks like he'll be away, which really pains me, but you can see his hearts not in it like it used to be. I have no qualms with him at all, we made him, but he's been excellent for us. It's the Colo-Jonas-Jose trio being split that worries me more than just Jose leaving.


Shane Ferguson: 6 - Looks a very good prospect. He reminds me of a young Duff/more skillfull Stephen Glass, so hopefully he'll push on.


Joey Barton: 8 - Class season from Barton, he's stayed injury free and been a revelation on the right wing.


Wayne Routlege: 5.5 - His desire was good and he had some good moments, but he never looked up to having that quality at the vital moments and then drifted off.


Kevin Nolan: 8.5 - More for his influence and goals than anything. There are times when he annoys me immeasurably with his general play, but as a captain and a goalscorer I don't we need to, or could do any better at the moment. His overall game improved towards the end of the season as well.


Cheik Tiote: 8.5 - Signing of the season, not just for us, but in the league. No one has made a bigger difference to our team than this man. He is the person we have been crying out for for years, he's not perfect, but he's easily near enough for me.


Alan Smith: 2 - Ugh


Danny Guthrie: 4 - Disappointed with Guthrie. I thought he was a focal point in why our second half of last season was such a stroll, but he just hasn't done it at all this season. He has a sweet right foot at times, but there are other midfielders in the team with better feet and other better attributes now.


Jonas Gutierrez: 8 - Outstanding contribution imo. Particularly the second half of the season. He will run until he dies for the team, but his final ball is looking a lot better, the problem here is obviously the strike 'force'. Wins so many free kicks, and is a vital player in the last 10 minutes of matches.


HBA: 7 - Looks class from what we've seen. A genuine cut above along with Tiote. We just didn't get to see enough.


Shola Ameobi: 3 - He gets 3 for his penalties. Other than that he's just fucking rubbish.


Peter Lovenkrands:  3 - Puts the effort in, which is more than Shola, but it's like playing with 10 men a lot of the time with him. You can see he has quality in areas, but he's just not up to it at this level at all.


Leon Best: 6.5 - Really proved us wrong when he came in, closing down defenders and working really hard. Pretty much our best striker at the moment, which is telling.


Andy Carroll:  8 - It still pains me a lot, but there's no denying how much of an exciting time it was with him Barton and Nolan playing off each other.



Hughton: 7.5 - Did remarkably well with what we had available and had us playing lovely stuff.


Pardew 7 - Did similarly well with what he had and had the loss of Carroll to contend with. I just don't see him at all as an improvement on Hughton and am often baffled by his decisions. I was with Hughton too, but they looked like they were ironed out.



Ashley: 5 - It's hard to see any good that he's done due to his past and his sacking of Hughton. He clearly wants to run things autocratically, in his vision, the problem is that he's fucking blind.

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Harper - 5.5 - Old, slow, dodgy, needs to move on.

Coloccini - 8 - Brilliant

Enrique - 7.5 - Patchy form but quality player

Nolan - 7 - scored some goals but apart from that offers little else on the pitch.

Campbell - 2 - did nothing but sulk when his mate was sacked

Williamson - 6 - Been decent for his first season at this level.

Barton - 8 - Unplayable some games, then opens his mouth and loses focus.

Guthrie - 5.5 - Shame about the one horror show or it would have been a solid 6.

Carroll - 8.5 - Unbelievable first half of the season

Routledge - 4.5 - Can't step up to premiership quality.

Lovenkrands - 5.5 - Scores more goals than he should.

Simpson - 6.5 - Vastly improved but some glaring weaknesses need working on.

Perch - 3 - Lost at this level, needs offloading

Ryan Taylor - 4.5 - Poor player, doesn't have a position.

Smith - 1 - Cunt

Jonas - 6.5 - Improved quite a bit under Pardew, still very little end product.

Xisco - 2 - Financial noose around our neck

Shola Ameobi - 5.5 - Same old shit, please sell.

Tiote - 8 Would be a 9 but too many bookings, can see why McClaren started him on the bench.

LuaLua - 4.5 - Didn't really do much

Krul - 6 - Shows promise, already a better keeper than Harper

Taylor - 6.5 - Impressed on his return, gives me hope for next season.

Kadar - 3 - Needs to get fit and play more out on loan.

Vuckic - 3- See Kadar

Ranger - 5 - Didn't do enough with his chances, needs a loan.

Ferguson - 6 - looking good

Ben Arfa - 6 - Shame he got injured

Airey - 5 - Like to see more

Kuqi - 5 - Gave Kasper much joy.



Hughton - 6 - Thankful for his work, cost us valuable points though

Pardew - 6.5 - Making the same mistakes as Hughton, shame as a fan we have to sit through them again, but at least home form has picked up.

Ashley - 5 - Been decent, doing what he should be doing. Would like to here an apology though and be able to move on from past sins

Llambias - 1 - utter wanker and always will be


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Harper 6 - Has done a decent enough job.

Krul 6.5 - Promising. Great shot-stopping ability, but like most young keepers, his decision-making about when to come for crosses, when to catch, when to punch etc, needs working on. Now needs an extended run in the side.

Enrique 7.5 - Great attacking player, and has improved defensively, if prone to the odd lapse.

Perch 4 - Yet to impress. Looks nervous.

Coloccini 7.5 - Improved a lot and makes some great interceptions and interventions. Occasionally exposed for lack of pace and strength though. Not quite as good as most crack him up to be IMO.

Williamson 7 - Has risen to the occasion very well. A decent all rounder.

S Taylor 6.5 - His problems have always been between his ears, and lately it looks like Pardew has helped in that area. Despite his experience, he's a work in progress.

Simpson 5.5 - Improved, but still doesn't look confident enough. Seems more scared of making a mistake than making something happen.

Jonas 7.5 - At times, a vital outlet for us. Not the most elegant of players, but one you can rely on for 100% effort.

Ferguson 7 - Has come from nowhere to be our brightest prospect. Shows no nerves. Looks classy.

Nolan 6.5 - As usual, has weighed in with important goals, but his lack of pace leaves him a spectator against the better sides.

Guthrie 6 - Has improved, but still doesn't look strong enough. Shows the right attitude though.

R Taylor 5 - Doesn't seem to have the ability to be more than a stand-in.

Tiote 8.5 - Outstanding for his energy and commitment to the cause.

Barton 8 - At last, he's shown his real quality. I think he's lost a bit focus since the turn of the year though, when all the speculation about a move started.

Routledge 4.5 - Found out at Premiership level, not for the first time.

Lovenkrands 5.5 - Tries his best, but that's not enough.

Ameobi 7 - Has done a decent job as target man, when called on, and can be a handful. Seems fated to be only judged on his mistakes.

Ranger 6 - Incredibly frustrating to watch. Has all the attributes but doesn't seem to work hard enough on his game and fluffs his lines too many times. When on song, he can really lift the side.

Carroll 8 - Looked fantastic in the air, and useful on the deck. Probably already England's best target man, but target men shouldn't go for £35m.

Best 6 - Looks good in the air, and has done better than I thought he would. Still seems quite limited and unlikely to be more than a stand-in.


Hughton 7 - Kept things rolling and I didn't want to see him go.

Pardew 8 - Done well in a difficult situation. No particular weaknesses as a manager, that I can see. He now has the chance to make his mark.


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Harper - 6. Lost agility and his distribution is worse than ever, which is really pissing me off. A safe pair of hands but absolutely nothing more. I wouldn't be devastated if he's first choice next year, but i'm hoping that Forster's ready for the step-up...


Krul - 6. Lots of good saves, plenty of flaps. I wouldn't say he's especially let us down, because the good displays tend to counteract a couple of stinkers, namely Stevenage away. Looks a decent prospect and i hope he goes out on loan again next season. And to a real league, not the Scottish one.


Perch - 2. Absolute horseshite. Dreadful, dreadful player. One of the worst i've seen for us at this level.


Simpson - 5.5. When he came back from injury he looked decent, and is definitely capable of playing in this division. But he's got very little going forward which is frustrating, cos he's not slow by any means. Defensive positioning is suspect too. He's improved but his foibles from last year haven't really been ironed out. I wouldn't put it past him to improve further, however. I'd look to replace him if we've covered the striker/winger/centre-back bases.


Coloccini - 8.5. Brilliant season, and our best player too imo. Coasts through the majority of games and is now looking a real threat from corners, if not directly from the cross. Not only is he an aerial threat up there, but you often see him contributing to the structured melees that often occur.


S Taylor - 6. He's had a bizarre, out of character end to the season. I still don't like him though, i think he's technically quite poor as a defender. Always a threat in the box though. Hope he isn't starting next year.


Williamson - 6.5. He's okay, but so prone to errors. Seems a bit overly 'no-nonsense' at times too, but then i suppose Colo's craftwork makes up for that. Cut out the ridiculous errors and he'd be a good defender. At the moment he's alright. Like Taylor, i hope he's accommodating either 3rd or 4th choice CB next year.


Campbell - 4. Didn't think he was overly horrendous in his early appearances this year, but clearly here for one reason - to bleed the club dry. Such a shame, used to be one of my favourite players and i was kinda buzzed when we signed him. Just another mercenary, though. Thank God he wasn't relied upon, like the mercenaries from two years ago. He's from that crew, though.


Enrique - 8. Brilliant season which has tailed off towards the end, seemingly due to his head being swung. Thanks for everything, Jose.


Routledge - 4. Garbage, never good enough. Big disappointment although i had feared as much. Limited footballer.


Barton - 7.5. Generally a good season, which a fairly rough patch in the last two or three months. Like others, he's suffered from Carroll's departure. The role Hughton has crafted him, however, is nice - and he executes it perfectly. He's got a lot of stamina so he can flit from being the delivery-winger, to one who cuts inside and hassles opponents. Key man this year, and although i'd be happy to see him in the side again next year, i think improving the wing situation (especially in the pace department) would benefit us tremendously.


Nolan - 7.5. Great leader and a good goalscorer. Generally limited technically, i feel, and whilst he isn't 'fat' - i think he could be fitter. But i can't really complain about his contribution this year and am absolutely fine with him having a starting berth next year. A 5-year contract seems a bit much, mind.


Tiote - 8.5. Would have been our best player had it not been for his ridiculous suspension record. He's the player we've needed ever since Speed went to Bolton - but he's arguably even better imo. A different style of midfielder, obviously, but what he brings to the team is exceptional. It just proves the shower of shite we've had in the middle of the park for the last few years, when you consider some of the things that Tiote does (with ease). Turning a man and laying the ball off - but offensively. There's a difference between a short sideways pass and short forward pass. Always finds the ball, always finds space, always hassling opponents. Class player.


Guthrie - 5.5. Don't really know what it is with Guthrie that doesn't make him a very good player. As a footballer, he's got good technique, good determination, a good eye for goal - and he retains possession reasonably well too. But for all his attributes, nothing really stands out. And his general lack of pace only exacerbates these foibles. It's probably why he pissed the Championship and is only alright in this division. I like him though, not fussed with him getting a few games next year when it's required.


Smith - 2. What purpose do you serve, but to bleed the club of however many thousand per week? Ridiculous player.


Gutierrez - 7. Good end to the season after an inconsistent first half. He looks quick and dangerous, and i would ideally keep him in the side next season. Whilst his end product still isn't completely up to scratch, it's improved and he's provided some decent crosses from the wing. Always dangerous down by the byline, and i look forward to seeing how he adapts his game with the loss of Jose. With him, HBA and a new fast winger in the side - it'd be pretty lethal and quick up top.


Ferguson - 6. Looks a really good prospect. Ideally would go on loan to the Championship next year but if we don't sign a couple of midfielder, i reckon we might need him. Oh, and i'm glad he's being deployed on the wing, rather than at the back.


Ameobi - 4.5. Hilariously brilliant at times, as someone said on here (can't remember who) - but other than that, same old Shola. I maintain that he's still the best finisher at the club, and still pretty awkward to deal with in the box, but he just doesn't do enough - period. Like i said, same old Shola.


Lovenkrands - 5. The guy's got shitloads of heart, and i genuinely think he'd run through a sheet of glass for this club. Reasonable goal return for someone of his quality which, unfortunately, isn't good enough. He should never have got as many games as he has this year, but credit to him, he's popped up with seven goals which have aided the cause. Thanks for the past two years, Peter.


Best - 7. Whilst i still doubt his abilities as a regular Premier League starter, you can't deny that the patch of form since the new year was very, very good. He was a real asset. He's had shite luck with injuries this year though, but he comes across as an honest worker and a striker with reasonable technique. Good with both feet, too. I'd still have him nowhere near the front of the striker pack next year, however.


Ranger - 6. I like Ranger, but it remains to be seen whether or not he'll ever improve. If he goes on loan next year, though, i think he'll do very well at the right club. A year up against Premier League defenders on semi-regular defenses will stand him in good stead for 12 months in League 1. He's got pace and strength which frightens defenders, and i think he's good at bringing others into play. Shy as a sheep infront of goal, though. Needs to sort this shit out or he'll turn out to be nothing other than a bog-standard, lower-league target man.

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How does Smith get even as much as 2 from people? :lol:


Anyway, not really arsed making ratings for the whole squad. Colo, Enrique, Barton, Tiote, Nolan, Jonas and Carroll did really well this year, few others like Williamson, Harper, Simpson, Steven Taylor and Best have made solid contributions too.


Hope we can get rid of as much of the deadwood (Ryan Taylor, Smith, Xisco, Lovenkrands, Guthrie, Shola) as possible this summer and bring in a few quality first teamers to replace them.

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Hope we can get rid of as much of the deadwood (Ryan Taylor, Smith, Xisco, Lovenkrands, Guthrie, Shola) as possible this summer and bring in a few quality first teamers to replace them.


this has been bothering me a bit with regards out prospects of bringing in 2 good strikers, who in their right fucking minds would take any of that shit from us?  that's not even counting ranger so we have 4/5 strikers now who aren't up to fuck all, i just can't see us boosting that up to 6/7 strikers :lol:


guess ranger might be an easy loan out, but to be be honest we really need shot of loven/shola/xisco, keeping ranger/best and adding 2 more


imagine if those fuckers are here next season man  :weep:

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Think Shola would be a good signing for a team in the Championship tbh. The problem will be his wages. I believe he's entering the final year of his contract though, I'd be inclined to tell him we'll make up the difference for the first year of his contract if he signs for less wages at another club. Just get him off the books and free up a squad space for a real footballer.


Same goes for Lovenkrands.


As for Xisco, we're gonna have to just try and loan him out again next year and hope someone will cover some of his wages for another year. Can't see anyone buying him.

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precisely on all 3, but it'll be massively easier said than done in all cases imo


maybe we can trick some of the promoted clubs, but i doubt it - personally think best case will be xisco (loan), ranger (loan) and loven (dirt cheap sale)


we'd then have shola, best plus new (x2?)


EDIT: sure we could move best but that would be fucking stupid :lol:


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