Things you used to get wrong about football when you were little

[Penn]

Used to think matches had four quarters rather than halves. No idea how I'd come to and sustained this conclusion.

 

Also have a reasonably vivid memory (which I hope I've embellished/subconsciously made up) of believing that there was only 1 goalkeeper, and being absolutely bemused as to why Shaka Hislop didn't just let us score. Again, moronic even for a 5 year old.

[Dr Colossus]

First time I heard "Toon Toon, Black & White Army" being sung I thought the words were "Toon Toon, Bobby, Nobby".

Actually the first time I heard the Coloccini one being sung, at half time over the original Can't Take My Eyes Off You, I thought people were singing "Oh Kevin Sheedy" and it was his old song or something.

 

Also it's not a football thing but I remember a grand prix being on tv and the commentator saying "the race is going to start in a few seconds", so I counted the amount of seconds until it started, and then for years I thought 'a few' was sixteen. 

[Pata]

First time I heard "Toon Toon, Black & White Army" being sung I thought the words were "Toon Toon, Bobby, Nobby".

Actually the first time I heard the Coloccini one being sung, at half time over the original Can't Take My Eyes Off You, I thought people were singing "Oh Kevin Sheedy" and it was his old song or something.

 

Also it's not a football thing but I remember a grand prix being on tv and the commentator saying "the race is going to start in a few seconds", so I counted the amount of seconds until it started, and then for years I thought 'a few' was sixteen. 

 

:lol:

[Astroblack]

I thought Peter Schmeichel's name was Petershmicheal.

[Guest Roy the Irish Magpie]

embarrasin thing for me, I was refin a match 2 year ago and the keepr had the ball in his hands but threw it back down inside his box but pushed it with his fingers again after putting it on the ground. The manager on sideline was screaming for a indirect free kick but I though it's only if you pick the ball back up again that its illegal so I played on and they went up the other end and scored. Checked the rule book after and seen that the manager was right to be shouting for it. You're not allowed touch the ball with your hand in any shape or form as a goalie once it's realeased ou of your hands, until another  player touches the ball. Felt real bad because that goal cost them the game. Ah well.

[nobby_solano]

I thought you could play for 2 teams. I knew gary lineker played for barcelona and england, that john barnes played for liverpool and england. I was convinced that when gazza signed for spurs that he'd still be able to play for newcastle because lineker and barnes played for 2 teams. I think I was about 7 or 8 at the time, I was gutted 

[Guest Shaun]

I thought you could play for 2 teams. I knew gary lineker played for barcelona and england, that john barnes played for liverpool and england. I was convinced that when gazza signed for spurs that he'd still be able to play for newcastle because lineker and barnes played for 2 teams. I think I was about 7 or 8 at the time, I was gutted 

Bet you thought bacon came from sheep as well.

[cp40]

When my dad took me to the match ib the Leazes End, I thought it was Lee's end and was well impressed part of the ground was named after me.

I thought the players sat down to a full on cooked Dinner at half time.

[Guest]

No, no, no, no, stop getting football WRONG!

[nobby_solano]

I thought you could play for 2 teams. I knew gary lineker played for barcelona and england, that john barnes played for liverpool and england. I was convinced that when gazza signed for spurs that he'd still be able to play for newcastle because lineker and barnes played for 2 teams. I think I was about 7 or 8 at the time, I was gutted 

Bet you thought bacon came from sheep as well.

 

nah, but i was shocked to find that there was such a thing as goat's milk/cheese.

 

 

i remember me and a few mates convinced a daft mate that if we finished 3rd in the champions league group in (97-98) that we'd go into a play-off against Belgian side FC Twatte to qualify for the next round.

[Haz]

Used to think teams were made up of natives to the area so that bobby Charlton played for the Toon and all players were born next to the grounds. 

[Guest neesy111]

The obstruction rule.

[ScottishMagpie]

not what I got wrong, but I remember going to football coaching on a Sunday morning.  Must have been about 8 or so.  One lad didn't know we swapped ends at half time in a mini-game.

 

Kicked off, he ran towards what was now his own goal, unchallenged, and just booted the ball past an utterly confused kid in goal.

 

Not sure why but I'm poorless after reading this one!  Fell off my chair in the office.

[Pilko]

The obstruction rule.

 

Everyone used to shout OBSTRUCTION in the yard when I was little like, despite no-one really getting the rule.

[Dr.Spaceman]

"The referee's a plonker."

 

Evington, instead of Everton.

 

Some posh kids down the street used to pronounce Shearer as Sharer, so I called him Alan Sharer up until about '95.

 

Every single Brazilian on the planet was an absolutely amazing footballer.

 

Brad Friedel "Must be a good goalie, 'cos he played in America."

 

Goalies weren't allowed outside there box.

 

Etc.

[AlanSkÃrare]

I was convinced Wim Jonk played for Newcastle before I started watching games.

 

I thought Dietmar Kühbauer was one of the world's best players.

 

Hitting the woodwork and then going out of play was always a corner.

[Jimburst]

I used to think 'One Nil' was another way of saying 'one goal', used to always be on about "It's one nil to us and 3 nil to yous". Idiot.

[Super Duper Branko Strupar]

I used the think the chant 'We are the Champions, we know what to go, gather all the girls up, and flush them down the loo' said 'Gazza', instead of 'Gather'.

I was adamant about this, as it was about football and Gazza was class. It was similar to when I was convinced the line was 'Popeye the Saver man', as he saves people.

 

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[Lenny]

I thought Klinsmann's first name was Kevin.

[joeyt]

Used to think it was

 

Andy Cole Andy Cole, Andy Andy Cole

When he gets the ball

He always scores

Andy Andy Cole

 

 

[Tooj]

I thought Klinsmann's first name was Kevin.

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First time I heard "Toon Toon, Black & White Army" being sung I thought the words were "Toon Toon, Bobby, Nobby".

Actually the first time I heard the Coloccini one being sung, at half time over the original Can't Take My Eyes Off You, I thought people were singing "Oh Kevin Sheedy" and it was his old song or something.

 

Also it's not a football thing but I remember a grand prix being on tv and the commentator saying "the race is going to start in a few seconds", so I counted the amount of seconds until it started, and then for years I thought 'a few' was sixteen. 

 

Scunthorpe away in the Championship season, my brothers missus was singing 'Do, do, olly, olly' until she was corrected...

 

From my point of view - used to think extra time was 30 mins each way.

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Oh, and me mam still thinks own goal is 'home goal'

[James]

I thought that being able to kick a football a very long distance (i.e. a long ball) was one of the most important and invaluable football skills.

[Jill]

not what I got wrong, but I remember going to football coaching on a Sunday morning.  Must have been about 8 or so.  One lad didn't know we swapped ends at half time in a mini-game.

 

Kicked off, he ran towards what was now his own goal, unchallenged, and just booted the ball past an utterly confused kid in goal.

 

I played on a team with one of those too. She was rubbish so never played the full game until one week when we were a few players down. IIRC someone on our team tackled her after she failed to respond to the entire pitch and everyone on the sidelines shouting at her.

 

Genuinely can't think of anything daft I thought about football, although I'm hardly an expert so there must be something.