Alan Pardew

[AyeDubbleYoo]

I never remember my dreams, but I actually dreamt last night that I logged onto here to see the top thread saying "Pardew walks". Pretty sad that I'm dreaming of an internet forum, but I was so happy for a short period of time

 

That's what matters, bless your little cotton socks.

[Dr Venkman]

Bless his cock and socks.

[themanupstairs]

what a blithering fool.

 

Ironically it's World Press Freedom Day today. Fuck me if that's what's left of journalism, then the profession is well and truly dead. RIP.

[Gallowgate Toon]

Fucking hell, finally!

 

“We need to play a brand of football which threatens the goal a little bit more because if you say to me what is my biggest concern I would say ‘goals’.

 

“I have just conceded six but sometimes if you are threatening the goal a little bit more you don’t need to defend as often and you can defend with a little more confidence.'

 

Read more: Journal Live http://www.journallive.co.uk/nufc/newcastle-united-news/2013/05/03/no-stone-left-unturned-as-alan-pardew-looks-to-end-slump-61634-33275619/#ixzz2SDgjGlYz

[themanupstairs]

This "little bit more" really does my f***ing head in. It's in every interview

 

Need to threaten the opposition goal A LOT MORE A LOT MORE!! ffs

[Guest Slippery Sam]

Bless his cock and socks.

 

Teardrop Explodes.

[Gallowgate Toon]

Those comments have actually raised my confidence for the game a bit, there's more quotes in there about setting up to be more attacking, which is so much better than 'X are great, we'll have to watch out and be organised to get a result blah blah blah'.

[Guest Slippery Sam]

Cheeky b******s.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/newcastle-united/10034281/Newcastle-Uniteds-attack-on-The-Telegraph-leaves-world-holding-its-breath.html

 

Newcastle United's attack on The Telegraph leaves world holding its breath

 

The last thing anyone responsible would do, at this stage of the dispute that has led to Newcastle United banning our reporter, Luke Edwards, and Telegraph Sport from every part of that club, is risk aggravating a highly incendiary situation.

 

Newcastle United's attack on the Telegraph leaves world holding its breath

 

Desperately fraught times such as these demand cool heads and soft words.

 

We have moved with mortifying speed to DefCon 2, and the imperative is to avoid escalating the conflict beyond the point of no return. Many of you will be reminded of the Cuban Missile Crisis, and it is to JFK’s calm and resolute spirit that we turn for our guide.

 

On this basis, it would be folly to risk further offending the delicate sensibilities of Derek Llambias, Newcastle’s managing director, by referring to him as the Nikita Khrushchev of Tyneside.

 

For one thing, there is no record of Llambias theatrically banging a shoe on a table at the United Nations. For another, it remains too soon to predict whether he will be the one to blink first.

 

Admittedly, the Telegraph held its nerve during another freedom of speech dispute not long ago, when No 10 tried to spook it out of reporting a cabinet minister’s questionable expenses claims with oblique yet menacing references to the Leveson kaleidoscope being in flux.

 

But where the threats of Downing Street are lightly brushed off, exclusion from St James’ Park is a concern of a very different order. Especially so with as many as one Premier League game to be played there before the season is out.

 

Next season, of course, there may be no Premier League fixtures at all. With Newcastle’s form in freefall, there is a fair chance of relegation.

 

One both understands the strain on Llambias, and applauds the dignity with which he is handling it.

 

The story which so distressed concerned a dressing-room schism. Armed with as few as four independent sources, three within the club, Luke reported that elements in the squad suspect the French contingent of a laissez-faire approach to the prospect of the drop, and of undermining their manager Alan Pardew.

 

Luke was accused of false rumour-mongering, and a solicitor’s letter was sent demanding an apology and the report’s removal from the website. I have to tell you that no such undertakings have been offered, and that consequently this newspaper is at war with Newcastle United.

 

How long it will endure is unknowable, though we expect it to be over long before Christmas. Perhaps a precedent will be helpful. In 2007, after a sequence of columns gently questioning his competence, Tottenham Hotspur’s hyper-cerebral Chairman Daniel Levy (he took a Cambridge First in the legendarily demanding discipline of Land Economy) imposed an identically draconian ban on me and the London Evening Standard.

 

Almost six years later, the residual post-traumatic stress makes it tough to write about this episode. On its own, the memory of going to White Hart Lane in a burka, to avoid detection by the SWAT teams posted at every turnstile, necessitates a medicinal nip of Famous Grouse before I can continue.

 

Having swigged, I can report that the Levy fatwa was greeted with a level of ridicule which, though I found it unseemly, persuaded Levy to abandon it after a few weeks. The result, I like to think, was an honourable draw, and there has not been an angry word – or indeed any word – between us since.

 

Fanciful as this may seem while we remain enveloped by the fog of war, I have hopes that the present dispute will have an even happier outcome. The bonding power of the siege mentality on a divided dressing room is well known, and if Pardew can persuade his players, French and otherwise, that they are all victims of the most wicked Telegraph persecution, it could prove their salvation.

 

In that event, I trust hostilities will be suspended, and the world will breathe its loudest collective sigh of relief since Khrushchev removed his warheads from Cuba. One small request, finally, should this come to pass.

 

The next time Llambias and his friend and chairman, Mike Ashley, delight the Toon army by renaming the ground, in succession to the romantic if brief flirtation with the “Sports Direct Arena”, they should repay the debt by calling it the Luke Edwards Freedom of Speech Stadium.

 

I'd keep them bloody well banned.

 

From the writers page - Matthew Norman is a former British Press Awards winner as both Columnist and Food and Drink Writer of the Year.

 

Say no more. 

 

Hilarious piece. I can hardly type, such is the pain from my split sides. A majestic piece which should be held up as a true indication of sports journalism in this country. 6th-form s****.

[Wilson]

f***ing hell, finally!

 

“We need to play a brand of football which threatens the goal a little bit more because if you say to me what is my biggest concern I would say ‘goals’.

 

“I have just conceded six but sometimes if you are threatening the goal a little bit more you don’t need to defend as often and you can defend with a little more confidence.'

 

Read more: Journal Live http://www.journallive.co.uk/nufc/newcastle-united-news/2013/05/03/no-stone-left-unturned-as-alan-pardew-looks-to-end-slump-61634-33275619/#ixzz2SDgjGlYz

 

nd he's just figuring this out? With 3 games left to save our terrible fucking season.

 

f*** off you useless b******.

[Gallowgate Toon]

It's better late than never. Fair play to him, I expected him to come out and say we needed to defend better after that shambles. It takes guts to say that in the position we're in, I didn't think he had it in him.

[alexf]

That bit about Daniel Levy . Yeah he's not bitter about it at all is he

[TRon]

It's better late than never. Fair play to him, I expected him to come out and say we needed to defend better after that shambles. It takes guts to say that in the position we're in, I didn't think he had it in him.

 

The problem is Pardew has done this before, switching focus from defence to attack in reaction to a beating and it has usually ended up with us looking wide open to counter attack because he's done it against teams with pacy strikers like WBA or Arsenal. Tomorrow is a game where the oppositions lack of pace up front is ideal for us to pick an attacking line up and press high up the field as their main outlet will be Carroll and the long ball. Against QPR the tactics would need to be adjusted again to counter a totally different threat from Remy. Horses for courses.

[Guest reefatoon]

f***ing hell, finally!

 

“We need to play a brand of football which threatens the goal a little bit more because if you say to me what is my biggest concern I would say ‘goals’.

 

“I have just conceded six but sometimes if you are threatening the goal a little bit more you don’t need to defend as often and you can defend with a little more confidence.'

 

Read more: Journal Live http://www.journallive.co.uk/nufc/newcastle-united-news/2013/05/03/no-stone-left-unturned-as-alan-pardew-looks-to-end-slump-61634-33275619/#ixzz2SDgjGlYz

 

Does this not just mean he wants to kick the ball upfield harder and quicker? . . . . Shola to start then

[Skeletor]

Fucking hell, finally!

 

“We need to play a brand of football which threatens the goal a little bit more because if you say to me what is my biggest concern I would say ‘goals’.

 

“I have just conceded six but sometimes if you are threatening the goal a little bit more you don’t need to defend as often and you can defend with a little more confidence.'

 

Read more: Journal Live http://www.journallive.co.uk/nufc/newcastle-united-news/2013/05/03/no-stone-left-unturned-as-alan-pardew-looks-to-end-slump-61634-33275619/#ixzz2SDgjGlYz

 

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/210/119/+_2acc5a8841f8752904d37f90a8014829.png?1322693145

[Chris_R]

f***ing hell, finally!

 

“We need to play a brand of football which threatens the goal a little bit more because if you say to me what is my biggest concern I would say ‘goals’.

 

“I have just conceded six but sometimes if you are threatening the goal a little bit more you don’t need to defend as often and you can defend with a little more confidence.'

 

Read more: Journal Live http://www.journallive.co.uk/nufc/newcastle-united-news/2013/05/03/no-stone-left-unturned-as-alan-pardew-looks-to-end-slump-61634-33275619/#ixzz2SDgjGlYz

 

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

[huss9]

is that some kind of admission that he's had us playing negatively

[Guest Roger Kint]

is that some kind of admission that he's had us playing negatively

 

Fully expect him to now line up with:

 

Elliott

 

Simpson Colo Saylor MYM

 

Perch Tiote Cabaye

 

Cisse                              Jonas

 

Ameobi

 

[AyeDubbleYoo]

That's painful to look at.

[Village Idiot]

The way he says "we need to play" sounds like he expects somebody else to come up with the way of doing it.

[Dr Venkman]

Lining up the excuses for post match interviews and post season meeting's at the same time, impressive work.

[Parky]

Think the Telegraph piece is funny and takes an entertaining and well deserved swipe at the club who IMO have mishandled the whole thing. It would have just been another puff piece of journalistic opportunism - but our reaction has given it more legs and the feeling that the original article was based in truth.

[nufc4eva]

"The big difference between the two sides on Saturday will be they will have much more Premier League experience than us."

 

 

West Ham rock up to play say a Benfica/Lille/Other European club that has no premier league experience, who will win.

 

This argument is so so bad for one off games. Over the course of a season the physicality and pace takes it's toll on players without that experience but should not be an excuse for individual games. We also have Tiote, Jonas, Colo, Simpson, Taylor, Cabaye, Cisse, Ben Arfa that have played over a season in this league. Irrelevant just go out and smash them

[merlin]

Cheeky b******s.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/newcastle-united/10034281/Newcastle-Uniteds-attack-on-The-Telegraph-leaves-world-holding-its-breath.html

 

Newcastle United's attack on The Telegraph leaves world holding its breath

 

The last thing anyone responsible would do, at this stage of the dispute that has led to Newcastle United banning our reporter, Luke Edwards, and Telegraph Sport from every part of that club, is risk aggravating a highly incendiary situation.

 

Newcastle United's attack on the Telegraph leaves world holding its breath

 

Desperately fraught times such as these demand cool heads and soft words.

 

We have moved with mortifying speed to DefCon 2, and the imperative is to avoid escalating the conflict beyond the point of no return. Many of you will be reminded of the Cuban Missile Crisis, and it is to JFK’s calm and resolute spirit that we turn for our guide.

 

On this basis, it would be folly to risk further offending the delicate sensibilities of Derek Llambias, Newcastle’s managing director, by referring to him as the Nikita Khrushchev of Tyneside.

 

For one thing, there is no record of Llambias theatrically banging a shoe on a table at the United Nations. For another, it remains too soon to predict whether he will be the one to blink first.

 

Admittedly, the Telegraph held its nerve during another freedom of speech dispute not long ago, when No 10 tried to spook it out of reporting a cabinet minister’s questionable expenses claims with oblique yet menacing references to the Leveson kaleidoscope being in flux.

 

But where the threats of Downing Street are lightly brushed off, exclusion from St James’ Park is a concern of a very different order. Especially so with as many as one Premier League game to be played there before the season is out.

 

Next season, of course, there may be no Premier League fixtures at all. With Newcastle’s form in freefall, there is a fair chance of relegation.

 

One both understands the strain on Llambias, and applauds the dignity with which he is handling it.

 

The story which so distressed concerned a dressing-room schism. Armed with as few as four independent sources, three within the club, Luke reported that elements in the squad suspect the French contingent of a laissez-faire approach to the prospect of the drop, and of undermining their manager Alan Pardew.

 

Luke was accused of false rumour-mongering, and a solicitor’s letter was sent demanding an apology and the report’s removal from the website. I have to tell you that no such undertakings have been offered, and that consequently this newspaper is at war with Newcastle United.

 

How long it will endure is unknowable, though we expect it to be over long before Christmas. Perhaps a precedent will be helpful. In 2007, after a sequence of columns gently questioning his competence, Tottenham Hotspur’s hyper-cerebral Chairman Daniel Levy (he took a Cambridge First in the legendarily demanding discipline of Land Economy) imposed an identically draconian ban on me and the London Evening Standard.

 

Almost six years later, the residual post-traumatic stress makes it tough to write about this episode. On its own, the memory of going to White Hart Lane in a burka, to avoid detection by the SWAT teams posted at every turnstile, necessitates a medicinal nip of Famous Grouse before I can continue.

 

Having swigged, I can report that the Levy fatwa was greeted with a level of ridicule which, though I found it unseemly, persuaded Levy to abandon it after a few weeks. The result, I like to think, was an honourable draw, and there has not been an angry word – or indeed any word – between us since.

 

Fanciful as this may seem while we remain enveloped by the fog of war, I have hopes that the present dispute will have an even happier outcome. The bonding power of the siege mentality on a divided dressing room is well known, and if Pardew can persuade his players, French and otherwise, that they are all victims of the most wicked Telegraph persecution, it could prove their salvation.

 

In that event, I trust hostilities will be suspended, and the world will breathe its loudest collective sigh of relief since Khrushchev removed his warheads from Cuba. One small request, finally, should this come to pass.

 

The next time Llambias and his friend and chairman, Mike Ashley, delight the Toon army by renaming the ground, in succession to the romantic if brief flirtation with the “Sports Direct Arena”, they should repay the debt by calling it the Luke Edwards Freedom of Speech Stadium.

 

I'd keep them bloody well banned.

 

From the writers page - Matthew Norman is a former British Press Awards winner as both Columnist and Food and Drink Writer of the Year.

 

Say no more.

 

Absolutely ludicrous piece. They are acting like a recently dumped teenage girl

 

I object to the comparison of Llambias with Nikita Khrushchev....Khrushchev was an experienced guy in his chosen profession.....

[Raconteur]

Think the Telegraph piece is funny and takes an entertaining and well deserved swipe at the club who IMO have mishandled the whole thing. It would have just been another puff piece of journalistic opportunism - but our reaction has given it more legs and the feeling that the original article was based in truth.

 

Scary that this article is considered funny or entertaining. It is pretentious and self-important - and I say that thinking that the club has its head up its own ass with the statement denying the original Telegraph piece.

 

I always considered the British to be good at satire, but that was woeful

[huss9]

"The big difference between the two sides on Saturday will be they will have much more Premier League experience than us."

 

 

christ, hope thats not the shit he comes out with in a team talk. fucking inspirational craic that is, like.