James Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Let's face it, there isn't really much going on at the club at the moment, so if there was ever a time to debate Shitabout Newcastle United and the space time continuum then this is it. So here is the premise: Mike Ashley has splashed this summer's transfer budget on a time machine. The plan is that the club are going to go back in time and bring back previous Newcastle players. However there are rules. There is only enough fuel for three trips there and back. Only you and one other person can go in the time machine. To bring a Newcastle player back from the past, you must leave an existing player behind. You can only travel to the past, and you can only deal with Newcastle players. You can not do anything to interfere with managers or owners. Also you must bear in mind that the players you swap will affect what happened in the past, so for example if you swap Shearer for Shola, you'd come back to find the club not looking so good. So what will you do? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisMcQuillan Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 My head hurts. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I haven't worked out my other swaps yet, but swap number one would be to take Jonas back to 2004 and bring back Laurent Robert. At this point Roberts career was about to go downhill due to being forced out by Souness, but a few good years would have been left in him had he stayed. Jonas wouldn't have ripped out trees back then, but I don't think the club would be any worse or better with him during that period. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarrenBartonCentrePartin Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 is the time machine in the form of a hot tub? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sima Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I'd swap Krul for Srnicek. We'd have won the league that season. Fuck today as Pardew is in charge and we'd have been champions in 1996. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disco Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I'd take Fumaca, Amdy Faye and Diego Gavilan back to 1899 just for the banter. I'd doubt they'd have seen black people or South Americans in those days so it would be a treat from me to olden day people. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyeDubbleYoo Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Take three of our players from now back to the summer when we only signed Bowyer. If the question allows that! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sima Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Take three of our players from now back to the summer when we only signed Bowyer. If the question allows that! Coloccini and Woodgate Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocker Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I'd take Fumaca, Amdy Faye and Diego Gavilan back to 1899 just for the banter. I'd doubt they'd have seen black people or South Americans in those days so it would be a treat from me to olden day people. X 1000000000 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ste Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I'd take Danny Simpson (technically still our player) and trade him for Woodgate in 2003. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ste Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Although we would have been weakened back then. Fuck this, me and Sissoko are going back to the day you were born and drowning you in a bucket. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deuce Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Although we would have been weakened back then. Fuck this, me and Sissoko are going back to the day you were born and drowning you in a bucket. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Although we would have been weakened back then. f*** this, me and Sissoko are going back to the day you were born and drowning you in a bucket. You can count me in. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilson Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 This thread had success written all over it from 10:12:34 AM Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobby_solano Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 i'd take obertan back in exchange for bellamy just before he went on loan to celtic then obertan would get sent on loan to celtic for the rest of that season Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest firetotheworks Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I'd take Krul back to 95/96 and bring back Srnicek. There's little point in just slightly improving on now. I'd take back Ben Arfa to 01/02 to replace injured Bellamy and I'd bring back Acuna (Assuming that these swaps only last for one season) I'd take Coloccini back to 95/96 and bring back Pedro. We could use Beardsley's magic and experience for where we are now, but we had Bobby Lee and others for 95/96 when Pedro was on the decline. Plus Colo and Albert would have been luxurious. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NG32 Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 What happens if the time machine has a malfunction and the three players you bring back to the future are all meldged together into one hideous soccer monster. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Roger Kint Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 What happens if the time machine has a malfunction and the three players you bring back to the future are all meldged together into one hideous soccer monster. Iain Dowie? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newcastle Fan Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 What happens if the time machine has a malfunction and the three players you bring back to the future are all meldged together into one hideous soccer monster. You put him on the bench and bring him on when we need pace. http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/56910000/jpg/_56910550_obertan.jpg Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueStar Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 The rules remind me of one of those puzzles where you've got to get wolves and sheep across a river on a raft. "No, sorry, you left Gazza and Ketsbia alone together in 2013 while you went back for 1997 Shearer and when you returned the resulting drink and violence binge had levelled the city. Play again Y/N?" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Haris Vuckic Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I'd replace Dan Gosling with one of Terry Mac's cones. (any era) I'd trade current Ben Arfa for pre De Jongarfa. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattoon Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Rather than a player swap if the rules would have allowed it I'd bring Sir Bobby back, at any expense!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NG32 Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Well if the time machine functions well, Id bring back Jackie Milburn and leave Shola in the 1950s... Flash foward to the 70s and swap Gouffran for Supermac..then flash forward again and bin Jonas for Keegan. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Ok my second journey will be back to 1996, I'm taking Romaine Amalfitano with me and coming back with Les Ferdinand. The club has just peaked in 1996 and still have Shearer, Asprilla and Beardsley. Ferdinand has some good few years left and can bea focal point for our current attack. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEMTEX Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Trip 1 - I'd take Cisse back in time to the day we signed Michael Owen, bring Owen into modern NUFC. Trip 2 - I'd take Owen back to the prehistoric age, swap him with a baby t rex Trip 3 - Me and colo would go back and check out some of that canny colosseum bants in Ancient Rome. I'd bring colo back. Unless there was a decent roman six foot fourer kickin around. Final step would be to sell the t rex and buy Messi with the proceeds. /Thread Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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