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The Official Alan Pardew Excuses Thread


WarrenBartonCentrePartin

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Too many points.  Difficult position.

Too few points.  Difficult position.

Too much Europe.  Difficult position.

Too many games.  Difficult position.

Not enough games.  Difficult position.

Too many spies.  Difficult position.

Too many carnivals.  Difficult position.

Too much science.  Difficult position.

 

What a thoroughly inspiring guy to have around the place.

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Too many points.  Difficult position.

Too few points.  Difficult position.

Too much Europe.  Difficult position.

Too many games.  Difficult position.

Not enough games.  Difficult position.

Too many spies.  Difficult position.

Too many carnivals.  Difficult position.

Too much science.  Difficult position.

 

What a thoroughly inspiring guy to have around the place.

 

To be fair he'll roll out the 'there are no easy positions in the premier league' at some point

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I present to you the "Step-by-step guide to excuses by Alan Pardew":

 

1. Blame Ben Arfa.

Ben Arfa not playing?

2. Blame too many matches.

Not that many matches?

3. Blame lack of matches.

Normal amount of matches?

4. Blame the team not being their usual self.

Team being their usual self?

5. Blame luck.

Deservedly hammered?

6. Blame the other team being more up for it than Newcastle due to having something to play for.

Newcastle have something to play for?

7. Blame injuries.

No injuries to major players?

8. Blame the lack of quality players like Ben Arfa.

Ben Arfa played?

 

Repeat ad infinitum.

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Still my all time favourite quote from the useless c***.

 

Spurs (A) 11/02/2012 0 - 5

 

When Newcastle fell four goals behind in just over half an hour, supporters feared an absolute slaughter was on the way.

 

"We could have done a bit better in the fundamentals of heading it, kicking it, passing it and making a tackle."

 

I still can't believe a professional football manager could come out with that gubbins like.

 

That's going down as my new sig.

 

For sure.

 

Careful. Ian's coming after you any second to remind you that all managers say such things.

 

I never claimed he was eloquent.

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"You would have to say everything points to them winning but it's up to us to make sure we can turn that around." What kind of loser manager says that even before the game starts. I've never seen/heard of a manager so full of negative vibes and such a self defeatist loser!

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Too many points.  Difficult position.

Too few points.  Difficult position.

Too much Europe.  Difficult position.

Too many games.  Difficult position.

Not enough games.  Difficult position.

Too many spies.  Difficult position.

Too many carnivals.  Difficult position.

Too much science.  Difficult position.

 

What a thoroughly inspiring guy to have around the place.

 

Too much of a winning mentality

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I reckon when he said 'winning mentality' he actually said/meant 'whining mentally'

 

Spent too long amongst Geordies. Become thick. Should have stayed at middle class Southampton to keep his pronunciation skills tip top.

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I'll go with "can't fault the commitment/effort out there, but with the players we're missing, didn't have enough quality out there to compete". Something about it having been a long season and Man Utd having the luxury of making 8 changes from midweek with quality replacements coming in for each. Summer. New faces over the line.

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