David Icke - Son of God

By 'close' they just mean we're closer than we were yesterday, when our offer was 12 Euros, a drawing pin and some lint from Charnley's trouser pocket.

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"COULDN'T GET HIM OVER THE LINE"

The cunts haven't apologised for Nacho Gonzalez yet. They can fuck right off.

You're forgetting that Pardew was on record last summer as saying he wants Bent to play as a number 10. I think I'd rather have him on the wing.

It's all about Stevie May if you're shopping at St. Johnstone.

That was when Llambias was here and Carr wasn't marginalised. Now? We're fucked. If Pardew has a say in transfers we are knackered.

I haven't cancelled my direct debit but I will if we sign Bent.

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You've got to admire the fucking balls of the club to come out after a season which ended on a particularly poisonous note and brazenly lay their cards on the table. I expected them to sugar the pill a little. Obviously they just don't care anymore. And if they don't why should I? I renewed my season ticket more out of loyalty than hope or expectation, but next season will be my last until there's a change in ownership. We're a mediocre football club and that wouldn't bother me if it wasn't our aim as well. I don't expect us to win things but I at least want us to want to, otherwise what's the point in spending my time and money following Newcastle United?

Moveable feast? Howld on a minute, I thought that when you were the king you could do anything you wanted Alan?

We've got average coming out of our fucking ears. We're fine for average. No more average. We need genuine quality to replace Cabaye and Remy.

He had a relatively short run of fantastic form earlier in the season but since then every time I've seen him he's been gash. There's next to nowt to his game once he's shown on the inside. We've needed a winger who can actually get to the byline and cross a ball for a few years now, so this make absolutely no sense.

With Shola in the form he is and Liverpool defending like they are it could by 13-1 or possibly 2 next week.

I'd buy and wear that if it didn't have Wonga plastered on the front.

For any buy British policy to work you need to be willing to part with substantial sums of cash. We're not. We'll hoover up cheap, average players from clubs near the foot of the league. We're not likely to buy anyone of any genuine quality that will substantiality improve our squad.

Imagine Pardew being put in charge of our (limited) transfer funds trying to poach British players at the exorbitant prices clubs usually charge? Forget Jonjo Shelvey, we'll be lucky to end up with Jay fucking Spearing.

"If I was in the director's box I'd have stopped their winning goal"

You just kna he'll come back and Pardew will play him on the fucking wing all preseason because he daren't break up the powerhouse midfield pairing of Shelvey and Colback.

If we sign him we can look forward to the SMB labelling him Dildo Shitvey.

I've never wanted a manager to get the sack so much.

He was very good at CB and then was promptly dropped. Not sure what else he can do. Fantastic against Chelsea and second best player on the pitch after Krul when we played Spurs. Shunted out to RB in the next match.

When was that? The 4-3 at Elland Road. You can see it on the highlights just after he scores.

It's better than repeatedly screaming "cunts" at our supporters like Lee Bowyer did, I suppose.

Never really begrudged Ba for going where the money is when you take into consideration the fact he's knee could give up at any point. He's always been pretty honest about it too.