Ashley17

Once all his mates were sold and Bielsa left he probably changed his mind

This is mint

Holding the wildcard back until week 4 I think. It's been an absolutely shocking start but I don't know how much longer good players can continue to be shit.

Got to love a Pilko Simpsons reference

How can a club get paid all that TV money and be skint?

Glad we spent all that cash on Mitrovic

Ayew, 2-0

Siggy hits crossbar and post

Sissoko off injured...Steven Taylor on

What do you make of Button & Alonso?

Sissoko looks done

Fack

Sounds like a rough afternoon

No Ki is a plus for us

De Jong has a strain or a kick

Imagine how good Mane would be if his feet were on the right way round

I'm certain it was. Otherwise we'd have been in it that season ? The irony is I think we were the first to get in for 4th as well

Yesterday Haidara's second touch was usually a tackle. There's not that much between them at all

If you're on the app you most likely haven't, everybody's says that.

We're trend setters to be honest

Defoe and Albrighton on my bench, more than the rest of the team combined

LORD PALMERSTONE

Bolasie on the bench I see...

Settled on: Ruddy - Bonus point system favours saves. Looking at their defence, he's going to be very busy. Sub: Butland - £4.5m, fixtures dovetail nicely with Ruddy in a couple of weeks. Francis - Wanted a Bournemouth defender as their first few home games are canny. Could have been any one of 3. Azpilicueta - Chelsea's cheapest defender, other than going down the Courtois route but see afforementioned bonus points craic Mertesacker - Arsenal's first 5 or 6 games look canny on paper Billy Jones - Wanted a mackem defender seeing as Dick had these bellends organised and they have a nice run of games to start. Sub: Alderweireld - Will play after this week, £5m is nice for a top 6 club defender. Hazard - Sceptical because he doesn't always start all that quickly, but with Sanchez out, he was the go to guy. Fabregas - Don't like doubling up on same clubs in a position but all of Fabregas' good work comes between August and December. Not sure how it'll go without Costa though. Ozil - It was between him and Cazorla. Cazorla takes all the set pieces but Ozil gets some ridiculous assists. Even writing this now I can't decide who to go for. Henderson - Fuck knows why, I hate the little cunt. But here we are. Sub: Albrighton - Leicester's games are ok and he finished last season in good form. Rooney - Of all the 'premium' strikers he has the least wrong with him at the moment Benteke - It was between him and Pelle but hoping he is ready to thrash the tits off Bournemouth next weekend Sub: Defoe - £5.5m striker slot was between him, Wilson & Deeney. Like being the tallest dwarf, really. Can't wait to roll out the wildcard in week 2

He's two days early as well. I like that.