Minhosa

Platinum Club. Where, tbf, half of the rows in front seem to only come for the fucking bar too. Tonnes of them in late, leave early, pissing every two seconds. One for the pet hates thread but wish there was a pissing section in the stadium where they could all annoy each other. Bloke today left for his first piss after 7 minutes and proceeded to do so a further four times during the game

Boring as fuck this now btw.

I must be missing something. It appears the bar is so low for this bloke that everyone is clinging to the smallest of moments in the hope that they will him into some type of form. I just see nothing in him to give the slightest bit of justification for the fee. We might as well have bought Usain Bolt. At least he’d bring in more shirt sales/pr.

There’s four women (early 40’s) sit in the row behind us. Every game, they’re in after kick off, late back from HT etc. They broke their own record today. Sauntered back into their seats in the 81st minute having been gone from before HT. Said it was too cold and they’d preferred to sit watching it from the bar. FFS.

Totally agree. A bizarre purchase all round with the most concerning aspect being that we seemingly tracked the cunt for two years and made him a top priority.

The bar for that particular honour is currently on the floor.

I know everyone is trying to find the positives with this bloke but I just do not see a footballer in the lad. We’re literally praising him today for a decent cross. £55m. Nobody mentioning him running it out of play (a-fucking-gain) nor the fact he’s brought the sum total of fuck all to the table as yet. If there’s some grand plan I’m missing and I’ll look stupid in a couple of months then, great, happily but he looks nowhere near a £55m footballer.

The fact we’re desperate for an effective RW option and we’ve got Elanga sat there with £55m tied up in him is bloody awful mind. For that money, we should have been buying instant impact. The Isak situation allows for some mitigation on the two forwards we’ve signed on the hoof but Elanga has killed us with his ineffectiveness.

Clearly a lot of affection remaining with their fans after his departure from Villa. Clapped when warming up, clapped on to the pitch and they sang his name too.

He’s not good enough to be saving himself tbh.

If his brain ever manages to catch up with his feet, he might have half a chance. Until then he’s a million miles off a £55m footballer.

The difference between him and Watkins was night and day. Watkins is levels above him.

Wissa was nuts commercially. Crazy deal to do.

Fuck me - please don't tell me this is anywhere near his average .

If ever a player warranted a change of policy and to go full Chelsea, it's this bloke. 8 year contract. No release clause. Let's lock him in. Most important renewal in the club right now imho.

As desperate as we are for an effective RW option, I still don't think that fully resolves the issues we have through the middle. Must be a bit of a headfuck for the other players switching between Wissa and Woltemade too every game, requiring them to adapt to two completely different styles.

Aye and just casually chucking a Ballon D'Or winner on to sure things up, as you do.

Fee may be relative to circumstance but I don't wanna engage in a footballing world where £55m doesn't guarantee you someone who can trap a ball. I made the point yesterday that Elanga is looking at a very steep mountain to climb now because of the predispositions about him across the fan base. He can literally play a blinder next week and have the ummms and ahhhs back within a fortnight if he doesn't follow it up week after week for months on end. That's because, on a technical level, he's fucking miles off what anyone should reasonably expect for £55m. He's facing a helluva challenge to succeed here imho. I sincerely hope he does tbh but he's not helped himself with his performances on the ball, even worse off the ball and the crowd haven't covered themselves in glory either. There's also the wider question of whether a winger of his profile was ever the right sort of purchase irrespective of the fact he's been honking to date.

I'm not sure a bloke, signed for 4 times Murphy's fee, and probably on double the wage can make a case for the same amount of patience that's been extended to Murphy tbh. He just won't get it. There's an expectation level that exists for a player signed for £55m, our third highest of all time, that simply doesn't exist for Jacob Murphy. That's just the reality. Whilst I'm not advocating the crowd getting on his back, he's also got a responsibility to do the basics both on and off the ball much much better. There is literally no excuse for ambling towards opponents, when you're without the ball, to pretend you've got any intention of actually winning it back - but rarely ever actually getting to the man to make the challenge when your speed should enable you to close them down miles quicker if you actually wanted to get there.

What blows my mind about this guy btw, if you compare him to say Murphy, is that Murphy has what I'd call an 'efficient' style. He receives the ball (one touch), moves the ball (two) and then delivers a ball (three touches). His game is very simple ON the ball. He's not hugely quick, he doesn't have a trick, he doesn't have silky skills and he's not massively strong. BUT he's effective/efficient with his use of the ball. For me, Murphy works hard off the ball and is simple on it. HOW IN THE LIVING FUCK can our coaches not just take Elanga back to basics and say to him, you've got three touches to get balls into the box. If Woltemade's not there then thats on him, not you. You've done your job. If Wissa misses, thats on him, not you, you've done your bit. I appreciate we didn't sign him because we wanted another Jacob Murphy but he's a million miles worse than that right now. Get him back to fucking basics and build him up from there and, if he's not capable of delivering decent, consistent balls from out wide with 3 touches then we need to conduct a serious review into who the fuck scouted the lad.

Just on this...........his work without the ball is probably an ever greater frustration for me than with it. To some extent, I can forgive bad touches, slipping over and looking 'off form' ON the ball but he's been absolutely fucking woeful OFF the ball. IMHO, even worse without it than with it. He's always the fastest bloke on the pitch but ambles to close opposing players down. He presses with ZERO intention of actually winning the ball, it's more to be seen to be doing the right thing. Their second goal last night, not sure if it would've been picked up on TV, but he was 8-10 yards off his man when there was a turnover in play before the ball was delivered. He offers his full back fuck all in cover. So, whilst it's understandable, he's perhaps playing in his own head when trying to influence the game in an attacking sense its fucking not ok that he can't/won't do the basics of actually pressing with intention and putting a challenge in.

Yep - agreed - it’s verging on cruel but it’s his job. What he’s paid to do.

I don’t think it’s an unfair view to suggest he isn’t the right fit for this Newcastle side. Next years might be built around him. In fairness to everyone involved, Howe and the coaching staff didn’t have time to accommodate him or plan for him and he’s done really well with some of his contributions to date. I dare say neither would be delighted if this is how his NUFC career panned out in the long term though in respect of how he fits and the team functions in the final third.

Who’s writing him off?

He’s tidy enough on the ball. Really hope he can stay fit for the remainder of the season.