Ronaldo

I wasn't being serious, like.

The Liverpool edition?

I wonder if he was told to say wow on seeing the Sports Direct logos on top of the East stand.

Was the last number 5 Danny Simpson or am I forgetting someone?

He's much better looking than Ryder, man.

Yes, he's a definite improvement. The coaching staff looks miles better than last season.

It's refreshing. Especially given the fact other aspects of the defence happily take orders from him.

As if we could/would afford Shawcross.

Bit of an absurd statement given that he's easily the best deep-lying midfielder we've got.

Depends on who the alternative is. If Colback's the blatant weakest link in a front 6 that's a pretty good 6. He's an average player who'll obviously get better.

Cisse will score goals for fun centrally with strong attacking players behind him when he can just concentrate on being on being on the shoulder. He won us countless points last season in an abject side that created fuck all.

Who the fuck is this curvy blonde on SSN?

I don't know a fucking thing about him beyond Wiki but it's nice we're spending real money on a player with a bit of pedigree. I like the fact he's Dutch too.

Funny, I don't remember you saying that when Pardew was here.

To be fair to Le Tiss he was pretty critical about Pardew earlier this year and in the autumn.

Problem is, strikers have been bough for tens of millions from clubs abroad with impeccable goalscoring reputations and have completely failed in the PL. To some extent Austin's a proven commodity. Yes he is but he can be signed for £15m less in a year. How's that remotely connected to what I've just said?

Problem is, strikers have been bough for tens of millions from clubs abroad with impeccable goalscoring reputations and have completely failed in the PL. To some extent Austin's a proven commodity.

Bobby did the same thing. Insisted the players wouldn't do in on a matchday and get booked if they refrained in training.

Should Colo have had it in the first place? We should have bought a captain figure to replace Nolan but didn't out of fear of rabble-rousing against the regime.

Michael Owen. Owen scored a few goals with the armband. Not enough, but a few. Better contribution than Colo.

Siem would be an absolute shoo-in for captaincy if his injury record didn't make Taylor almost look like Lampard.

Yeah, tend to agree with that. Let him get on with his mission of failure.

Tiote receiving the ball from defenders has cost us enough goals over the years, thanks. Not to mention the fact it usually means his partner has to sit deeper than he really should in order to negate Cheick's weaknesses. Aye and Tiote on his game playing as nothing more than a juggernaut to break up play and sit back has also saved us from conceding many goals over a period of time too. Aye he's been shite lately, but when Pardew was using him as a fucking deep-lying playmaker I don't know what you'd expect. 3 years of utterly shit performances isn't 'lately'. I expect decent performances from a well paid player. As in doing the basics well, not getting booked every game, protecting the defence, occasionally scoring the odd goal etc. You might want to consider the fact we've conceded more goals in that period than (I'd guess) any other PL club when talking about his ability to save us from 'conceding many goals' too.

Tiote receiving the ball from defenders has cost us enough goals over the years, thanks. Not to mention the fact it usually means his partner has to sit deeper than he really should in order to negate Cheick's weaknesses.

I think I have/had an .avi of it on an old HDD. It looked like we'd signed a fusion of Ronaldo and Romario, like.