Ronaldo

Man U have been an absolute fucking disgrace.

Pata rates Tiote. Ignore.

We're the worst side in the league.

Riviere's better than Alan Smith.

Pardew's 'quick transition' game plan still in glorious effect.

Valdes has accepted a bribe.

Perfect, then.

I hope it happens whilst he's on the motorway, with any luck he will hit a HGV coming the opposite way. Well, yeah, that's what I meant, like.

I hope Souness' next heart attack happens when he's 'down the motorway'.

And I do, just wish that utter nonsense hadn't come from him.

Just wish he hadn't come out with all that nonsense about Pardew.

I don't want us to go down, but I won't be too gutted if we do.

Shearer won't even compromise his MotD sofa impartialness for the good of NUFC, man. He's hardly likely to bother his arse to own us.

Carroll's a good lad. He spent a fair bit of time showing my mum how to use her iPhone in the Metro Centre a few years back.

Ashley, Carver and Coloccini getting absolutely hammered on the Sunday Supplement. Bout time.

Just put on SSN and the first thing I see is my mum and aunty holding an Ashley Out banner. So proud.

It goes beyond Sky, too. Plenty of people will cheer that shower off should we lose and stay up.

Barry Moat didn't float his boat.

I think he has 2 Premier League goals since 2008. Expert indeed.

Fucking Les Ferdinand, man. When did he become such an ignorant cunt?

He kept us up with his goals at the back end of 12-13 and was brilliant from early October ('14) onwards this season. In other words it's more like 1 season he was poor, not 2 years.

Not sure what any of that's got to do with Ben Arfa, like. Bellamy absolutely worked his bollocks off. Robert was undroppable because he was so fucking good in terms of scoring goals, making them and driving the team forward on the counter.

Every Boro fan I know said the same stuff about McClaren.

McClaren's style isn't pretty either (by anyone's definition) and he won the League Cup and the Eredivise. So what? Again: How is Pulis better than McClaren? Coz hees betta at managen footbal teems in the Premya Leeg.

McClaren's style isn't pretty either (by anyone's definition) and he won the League Cup and the Eredivise. So what?