bobbydazzla

Having a spanking new state of the art stadium that’s basically a money printing machine but then seeing yourselves rock bottom of the PL wages to turnover list must sting a bit as a Spurs fan Where’s all the millions of billions of extra bunce going ?

Amorim’s body language is so bad, just paces / crouches on the touchline looking like a man who absolutely hates the state of his life

Eddie Howe’s Spreadsheet Army

People waving their phones around in front of their face isn’t conductive to a decent atmosphere either

I like poking fun at xG by going on massively over the top rants about it and I like to see how people respond to me poking fun at xG I also like to be an irritating twat if I know a subject gets people riled easily. It’s one of my many faults

Do people actually talk about xG outside of the internet ? If I was was having some football chit chat over a foaming pint of Hobgoblins Knob Rot hazy nut brown ale and the person I was chatting with raised xG as an area for discussion I’d drain my beer, pop on my coat, leave the establishment, delete that persons number from my phone and never ever speak to them ever again

Absolutely 100%. The likes of Carragher and Neville commentating on their own teams is a disgrace It was bad enough when we had biased commentators like Tyldesley spaffing on about his beloved Man Utd but it’s now reached whole new levels of depravity Why did it become a thing for these ex players to get the mic for their clubs and what sort of moronic fuckwit actually likes listening to it ?

Slower than Blaydon Races

How else will people know if their acca will pay out ?

It’s just a new boring stat and I enjoy pointing out that it’s just a new boring stat because it’s guaranteed to cause ructions and I find that funny Maybe a striker is lethal, maybe a keeper is shit, maybe all the best chances fell to a centre half rather than a centre forward, the variables that affect chances vs goals can go on and on and on Football’s supposed to be a sport, it’s not supposed to be a maths tournament

Aye, but it’s good crack winding up the stat nonces I have my own metric for number of times I aggressively slag off xG on here compared to the number of people who respond to defend xG like it’s some sacred cow

Actual CCTV footage of me and @El Prontonise versus an xG nonce

For clarity, I understand xG. I just think it’s stat noncery gone daft and there’s no need for Joe Public football fans to be spaffing on about it

I’m going to create a new statistical system that tells me how many people who quote xG have ever been successful in tapping lasses

I’ve come out of a match and said that hundreds of times I’ve never, ever, ever come out of a match and said “our xG was blah blah blah”

What is “clearness of chances” ? It’s just more nonsense Being 20 yards out and lining up a thunderbastard is a clear chance for Schar, being in front of an open goal with the ball on his right peg is not a clear chance for Miggy

Did we take a shot ? Yes / no Did the shot go on target ? Yes / no Have we had a lot of the ball ? Yes / no None of those is even in the same league as the xG gubbins

I know that man, I’m not daft It means nowt because it’s just some stat noncery thrown around by nerds I could create a stat that showed me how tight Bruno tied his boot laces before each game, it will produce a measurable metric but it’s dull as fuck and just stats for stats sake Here’s all the xG you need: Did we create chances ? Yes / no Did we turn those chances into goals ? Yes / no

It means nowt For 100+ years people have watched a football game and said “we’re creating many / not many chances and we’re converting / not converting those chances into goals” But now the Lawrence Logic stat nonces have decided to call that basic observation xG and think it’s some revolutionary scientific revelation It’s just unnecessary bollocks and the sort of nerdy borefest that’s ruining football as an entertaining sport

No offence intended like, but can I just point out that xG is a load of codswallop

Busy today so can’t watch this one but had a quick check of the half times on my phone…..

Nah, his PAYG burner phone will be red hot 24/7 with threatening calls and messages from various PL club owners And most of them are American so they’ll be hassling him when it’s jarmies on time over here Masters has got to explain to his masters how he’s going to repay them for their lost Champions League bunce

Masters thinking he can take the PL job, hop on a gravy train, maintain the status quo by keeping the cartel happy and he’s got an easy life for years with plenty of bunce A frontman, just needs to nod along and not rock the boat Instead he’s created a fucking shitstorm by accidentally blowing the lid off the scam, mainly caused by his mishandling of the cartel’s blatant attempts to stifle NUFC He’s like that Philip Green in Casino I hope the cunt wakes up every morning and hates his fucking life

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Where were these APT rules when Ashley was paying us £0 every season to plaster our entire ground in Sports Direct logos? No club in the top flight was screaming from the rooftops and demanding the PL do something about that being unfair and anti-competitive were they ? They’re snidey cheating cunts Fuck the lot of them