Pilko

For someone who played as a winger in the Championship until he was about 25, Antonio is one hell of an effective striker at this level.

4 in 4 in this shithouse of a team is no mean feat.

That's some bad luck on the injury to Schar. Steve just can't catch a break can he? Barrels of boobs/thumbs etc. Poor guy.

Assume you mean a neck brace after he's spent another 90 mins watching the ball being belted towards him at a great height.

Has he ever let an interviewer get to the end of the question? He jumps in faster than he would into a swimming pool of Bisto gravy

I hope Crawley go out of business after this afternoon. Cunts. Had Raheem FGS (as I do most weeks) which claws back some of the usual 3pm shitshow. Shelvey and Bardsley card double later. Might also back Burnley to score a pen.

The second one was about as blatant as they come IMO. First one I agree was very soft.

Maybe he just recognises when players aren't good enough to play for England? I don't rate Jama particularly but if you're dishing out caps to Coady, Mings, Tarkowski etc. he can feel hard done by not to have had a couple of games IMO.

Oxford, Lincoln, Fleetwood EDIT: Oxford game postponed so cashed out and replaced them with Cambridge. Bristol City, Hull, Colchester, Crawley Ward / Jorginho card double in the early Bardsley / Shelvey card double in the late

Will be doing Bardsley/Shelvey card double tomorrow night assuming they both play.

Steve Bruce will be sat in the dressing room, reading the paper before the match, just minding his own business, when suddenly he finds a strange artefact under the benches. He picks it up and realises that St James Park is in fact built on an ancient Indian burial ground and he's now disturbed the bones of the sacred warriors of years gone by. However, it turns out one of these ancestors used to drink with Steve's great-great-great-great-great grandfather in The Diamond, so he and all the other spirits agree to protect Newcastle's goal for the duration of the Burnley game. This then allows Steve to win the game 1-0 via a Bardsley o.g. despite having 26% possession, conceding 11 shots on target and only having 1 attempt at goal in the entire match. "Blimey, that was a stroke of luck wasn't it lads? Those ancient spirits can play centre half again next week that's for sure" said Steve to Aggers, Clem and Harps whilst having a pint of Tetley's after the game.

You feel like another year or two down the line he'll be spouting the same old shit - "we're not ready to change to my attacking style yet" and "we need to be better that's for sure" whilst doing nothing to actually get there. He'd be still saying it in 100 years time if Ashley and him managed to live that long. He's like Future Mr. Burns in the Rosebud episode of the Simpsons. "Bobo, I know I say this every half century, but I really will make the team more attacking but we're just not ready yet"

Gillespie's performance last night had me wistfully reminiscing about Rob Elliot. The Newport goal I reckon someone's nana could have saved.

Contrast what Fraser did to Matty Longstaff's situation and then look at the way the two respective managers have dealt with it.

Hope this spawny, lucky bent-nosed pudding has got the lottery on after the week he's had. If he wins the jackpot he might retire.

1-3. This lot like a cup upset so think they'll give us a run for our money more than the last lot did. Joelinton to continue his flat track bully record with a brace.

Shitty 1-1 draw at home, 1-0 defeat at the Cottage IMO, which is the standard practice for the team finishing bottom against us. I reckon this lot could easily ship 100 goals this season and we'll be responsible for a good 15-20% of their final points tally.

Step in the right direction this week like. 2 in midweek and then solid, quietly effective showing today.

12 shots on target and Son rattled the woodwork twice. Can see why.

Son subbed at half time. Don't care if Jose has a soft spot for us or not, I think he's a fucking cunt now.

Ritchie what a shit player he is.

If that's a 442 with Joelinton and Wilson up top we'll lose about 10-0.

If he plays Krafth at centre back again after Kane bullied him last season