Pilko

Eh, who did, you or me?

Good signing at a low price, direct from one of the better defensive units in the league. Big lad too for set pieces in both boxes. I work with a lad who knows his brother - fun(ish) fact: Dan lost one of his fingers aged 13 climbing over a fence.

Centre mid Can run round a bit Has some ability Exotic name Non-domestic signing I'm in

What a fucking waste of time that was then. Nice work.

Nat Phillips at those fees quoted I wonder if it's Mandy, Eddie or a.n.other who's obsessed with carthorses? This feels like an utter shitshow, they've got a week to get some signings in and it feels at this rate like we'll be offering Emmerson Boyce and Chris Iwelumo £5m each to come out of retirement.

Garlic king prawns

Finally, a reasonable explanation for signing Chris Wood.

Guehi single 13/2 Sky £5 Jota, Lacazette & Kane to score Sky enhanced 20/1 £5 Then done various small stake trebs/quads: Guehi/Westwood/Soyuncu W.Hughes/Robertson/Tarkowski/Lokonga C.Jones/Tierney/Maddison White/Brownhill/Matip/Mitchell

Much more useful since Lard Arse fucked off, in that he seems to be grafting harder and has toned down the needless Hollywood passes. Still, I can't stand him, after years of unreliable, lazy, moody, petulant performances and 1 good game in 12 if you're lucky. His limitations are ten fold and whilst he's a necessary evil at the moment cos he's the only fucker who can pass in centre midfield, I can't wait til we ship him out and upgrade.

His positioning in the first half was embarrassingly bad, thankfully rectified second half. His distribution is light years ahead of anything we've had in the right back position for ages.

Well done to him for today. First half was really poor and we looked exposed in the fullback positions, I thought we were lucky to come in level. A real mess and no cohesion, plan, pattern to our forward play. Second half much better, we grew into it, for once took advantage of an individual error rather than committing one, and deserved the win overall. The fact we kept playing and didn't revert to the 18 yard line after scoring hopefully shows he's starting to learn. Really pleasing to see us pushing up and forcing the issue even when in the lead because if we'd sat back like last week I'm convinced we're talking about another 1-1 here best case. Still work to do of course but a hard fought win that and I hope he can use it as a platform to build on. Hopefully the Lascelles injury sees us push the button on a proper centre half.

Excellent today, despite the joker alongside him for the first 70 mins.

He's rubbish. First touch worse than Shola.

Wood's first touch is horrible.

Best thing ever seeing that utter fucking carthorse Lascelles go off injured. Hope that's his last game for us.

Fulham to score 2+ today was 11/10, printing money considering their current form.

Fraser and Wood might as well have taken the day off and got us to play with 9 men.

This is bleak. What the fuck are they doing in training? Absolutely no cohesion or semblance of a plan.

Killer Clown 8/1 with the freebie. Ramsey and Holgate cards in the early, 25/1.

Already been said by others but this would be an excellent bit of business, really hope we get him.

Can't believe so many of our fans turned their noses up at the notion of getting Potter in.

Got on this at 12s.

Kante, Moder & Mac Allister 1+ SOT 23/1 Alzate & Rudiger cards 18/1

Get him in and get that fucking cunt Lascelles out of the team. Be a monumental transfer this if only to see someone new drop a bollock for a change.