Pilko

That's a really good one. That season where he had about 12 goals by January, there was an article with quotes from him saying he wanted to return to Africa and play for his hometown team for a few years, but not before firing Portsmouth into Europe and leaving a legacy there. About three days later he'd moved to Man City, then he scored at Old Trafford on his debut to win the game for them. I think he's scored about 5 or 6 goals since that one and it was maybe 3 years ago now.

Goals? He only scored one.

Marlon King leaving Watford.

which time? The first time, obviously. He's only been a West ham player for about two and a half hours

Keane leaving Spurs.

aye, well done.

Bet I'll regret putting coin on Real -1.

£2.80 on Real Madrid -1. Bet I regret that, odds of 11/4.

As were Chisco and "the youngster James Perch". And fair play to Chris Howton too.

Yeah, I agree. The useless Scandinavian bastard couldn't pick a pass to save his life.

Blue kit? Hot fuck, 8-0 to Fulham.

Not sure quite what happened to Spurs in that first half. Can only assume that Hutton is to blame for everything. I did see him concede a penalty, like.

As much as Jonas is infuriating, he's vital in the short term. Whenever he doesn't play our ball retention is awful and we have no-one to run with the ball and allow the defence time to get out. He's another of those like Nolan who on their own is a bit rubbish but is quite important to the team and it shows when he's missing. I'd be looking to phase him out of being an automatic starter as of next season, in terms of moving players on he ranks fairly lowly on the list.

cunts

Good start, come on Arsenal.

Come on Arsenal, rack up some goals please.

Unconfirmed reports that Ireland has failed the medical due to his pants being on fire and his hair curling up like a telephone wire.

We might as well try Ireland off Carroll or Shola. The other forwards we have don't really fill me with too much confidence on the goalscoring front.

I'd like us to look at Will Buckley from Watford, and not just to annoy GG either. He seems to have come on leaps and bounds the last few seasons and would be a good option for the wings IMO.

I'll save you the wait, I'm only having soup. Irish stew?

He's on ITV's sofa doing the FA Cup show now.

For tomorrow Arsenal -1 Man City Rangers £10 wins £28

Just the one win - the goal crazy one - which saw me in about £2.80 profit overall. I know I didn't declare this but I put a further £2 on Man United at 3/1 at halftime. So about eight or nine quid up for the day.

Carroll's in Sweden ffs, if anyone decked him it was probably Pardew.

Why is Peter Reid wearing a coat with "PM" on it?