Ketsbaia

FC United is such a shit name - may as well be Rovers Town or City Athletic.

PSV won Eredivisie at a canter and is about to manage in the Champions League - yet he'd go to Sunderland? I guess the Advocaat link could be worrying.

Moyes says no, Clement prefers Derby, Allardyce wants a sabbatical. It's going to be McClaren, isn't it? I have no idea whether this is good or bad news for us.

I still want Spurs to sign Charlie Austin, so they have the Attitude Era up front. Anyone have HHH initials?

They're getting Luongo from Swindon, who apparently is quite good.

Leo Messi is unbelievable. James Chester is.... ok.

Nervous about the potentially decent manager they could appoint - they've got to get one right eventually! So does this mean Dick's been told there's no money? Because that was meant to be a factor.

Oh, I assumed it was a scar

First reaction - gutted. Second reaction - he's not Carver. We should do a lot better but I'm still fearing the worst, so appointing an actual manager is a start. I know Derby collapsed but their squad isn't particularly good, so 8th is about right. Then again, why would Derby sack him if they know we're sniffing around? Missing out on compo AND they've had to pay him off.

Seems a bit unreliable

Is either Tevez, Llorente or Morata going, then? I know the former wants a Boca return and the latter has a buy-back clause.

Stay strong, mate.

Seen some of yous in Akhbars tonight - it was amidst a really awkward moment for me, personally, so sorry if I was a bit shellshocked. It's been quite a day.

A beautiful, perfect moment. Thank you, Jonas.

So that's not a prank?

Just like derby week, I've known we're losing all week but get more confident nearer the match. "But we're better than them, surely we cant lose FIVE in a row", then we do. I keep forgetting our players dont give a shit.

Ben Dinnery ‏@BenDinnery 2m2 minutes ago LvG "For the honesty of the league. I have to play my strongest team.” #MUFC

Ben Dinnery ‏@BenDinnery 1m1 minute ago Wayne Rooney [dead leg] has been passed. LvG suggests he will play "his strongest team" available #MUFC

I really really hate doing this, but I now can't make Saturday. Sorry guys. Are there enough replacements?

I hope they keep him because this is a great chance for them to sort themselves out. They could start building, rather than getting by year-by-year. Picking Advocaat goes against that.

That's it. We can pin our hopes on logic, or take a look at what's actually happening. Everyone else is getting weird results, it's just so inevitably going to end with a Hull win.

Anyone who dares critcise Ben Arfa has no fucking clue about football, like. He was a genius, Pardew didn't like that and we're in freefall without him. Sunday's relegation vindicates those of us with eyes who defend Ben Arfa. But Ryan Taylor and Gutierrez run around so let's have them instead.

Penalties, deflected goals, not-quite-own-goals. Well jel

Every scoreline - no matter how improbable or illogical - is conspiring against us. Hull won't beat Man Utd? They bloody hell will.