loki679

'I narrowly managed to avoid the relegation I had spent five months steering the club towards from a position of safety' http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/slow_clap_vanderbeek.gif

Plastic Man Utd fan in being deluded arrogant wanker shock.

Guess you're not mocking those who contribute to this farce anymore?

So he just scores and creates goals then? Bin him imo.

Sorting out the granny bangers here like.

If we need to free up squad numbers then we should let some of the players on expiring contracts leave on a free in January (assuming their replacements are confirmed). We'll not get any money for them anyway and right now they're just taking up space we could use for other things. That's assuming we have any intention of buying in January which I very much doubt.

Pardew and John Terry. Bet nobody brings their wife to the Christmas party

Abramovich morphing into Santa Claus just in time.

I still remember that time he passed it backwards to our centre back and then went and hid behind an opposition player. As good as a cup win that was, there were celebrations in the loki house that night.

He's spent his entire career in relegation battles, that's all you need to know.

Over a season that'd be top 6-8 form. Can't see them doing it personally, would be a massive turnaround. Their only real hope is that another three teams have a huge collapse in form.

We'll not spend that much man.

Villa and the mackems going down would be like a Premier League enema. We're possibly the other turd that won't flush but we're at least looking a little more competitive these days. A massive Palace collapse seeing them, Villa and Sunderland down would be mint though. Couldn't think of a better end to the season than Pardew, Allardyce, Sunderland and Villa getting relegated. Maybe if they opened up a surprise 4th relegation place and Liverpool took it

He's not even a midfielder Poor bloke must just sit there sometimes wondering how the fuck this ever happened.

Villa to go down and Garde resigns. We punt Schteve upstairs so he can eat biscuits with Carr and bring in Remi. Then we win the league, obviously.

Fell asleep on the sofa just after de Jong smashed it off Cisses head on about 5 minutes

Did merlin have a stroke or something?

He'll get taken off on 3 minutes with the worlds first ever case of spontaneous Dengue Fever.

Now they just need to find someone with £250m to spend.

Aye, especially after the glittering career he went on to have.

This. 2 leg knockout all the way to the final. Maybe have one off semis at neutral venues too. Might not have the glamour of the CL but it would be a great competition for the fans. Agree with moving to knockouts like this. Also want to remove the CL dropout to this competition too. Fucking hate it that a big club can do shit at CL and get a chance in another tournament. Aye, that's absurd. Imagine getting knocked out of the FA cup and getting parachuted into the later stages of the League cup instead. Ridiculous money motivated bollocks that cheapens and demeans the entire competition.

This. 2 leg knockout all the way to the final. Maybe have one off semis at neutral venues too. Might not have the glamour of the CL but it would be a great competition for the fans.

He should be competing with de Jong for the second striker role with Mitro vying with Cisse for the main striker position. If Cisse could actually be arsed we'd have some decent depth up front. Right now i'd play de Jong ahead of him for his leadership, experience and general footballing nous with Perez coming on when de Jong falls to bits on about 60 minutes. If we had a couple of decent wingers we could have a pretty good attack.