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We wouldn't disrupt our wage structure for him, methinks. And I'm doubtful about his fitness, especially under a Howe intensity regime.

You've already put more thought into this post than Paid Journalist Oliver Holt has put into whatever drivel he wrote, man. Holt is a lazy excuse for a journalist, and his agenda-driven nonsense gets him gammon clicks from Daily Heil readers. He doesn't care about nuance and critical analysis of our success, and we as a fanbase shouldn't pay him any attention. He's already chest-deep into ridiculousness - "talented player's sublime piece of skill reflects Saudi sportswashing" - howay man, how stupid does that sound?

Keane needs an MRI to see if his insides have been rearranged after being twisted 180 degrees three times there, man.

Caicedo has been talking very publicly about joining (insert massive club) since January. Latest being Real Madrid. I'd much rather sign someone who is interested in our project and is keen to grow and progress with the club. This is why Bruno G and Trippier were such great signings - they really bought into "the project".

Hurt his back picking out five balls from the back of his net lol.

Just realised Joelinton's goal was another "Schar special" - that may be the third time this season Schar has made a long-ball goal.

Snippets of the goals. Spurs defending so so lethargic, and we were so clinical: First: https://dubz.co/video/80236a Second: https://dubz.co/video/2ffc30 Third: https://dubz.co/video/02a933 Fourth: https://dubz.co/video/534059 Fifth: https://dubz.co/video/d72572 Sixth: https://dubz.co/video/1145a9 Love the French pronunciation of Jacob Murphy

Lloris looks like he was part of a Ukrainian prisoner exchange. Poor sod.

One of the replies in that tweet : "I heard he only shows up after eight"

The London clubs all bottling something or other this season is amazing, like.

Love how you can tell the players' personalities in the first minute. Isak and Willock - introverted and slightly shy; Bruno and Trippier - extroverted, sociable; Botman - an actual robot sent back from the distant future to terminate the opposition.

Darwin Nunez has the same number of league goals as Isak....in double the matches lol.

Miggy scores that

The thought of Saka vs Burn fills me with dread

How does an apology help Brighton again? I must've missed the part where the PGMOL's apologies means a team gets free points, or a replay.

Hopefully, Wor Eddie will see this a must-win game to show the bosses who was the superior candidate to manage Newcastle. Just kidding - Eddie sees every game as a must-win lol.

Nah, it was Schar who got done by Schade. Burn was higher up having just done a useful block on Aaron Hickey but the loose ball was punted up hopefully by the centre-back who came to cover - it was just Schade's great first touch and turn that he was able to conjure a free run thereafter on the flank. You can see the entire move from 1.55 mins on in the extended highlights video.

Bruno with his grimace again when talking to Eddie

Everton are rank. Blown tens of millions on utter dross, running afoul of FFP in the process, and yet ending the season under Dyche at the bottom end of the table. They deserve relegation. Edit: *hundreds of millions.

The Champo is so shit, Rotherham No 7 literally strolling through the WBA defence there for their third goal.

Yeah, don't worry I meant it in the most affectionate way as I was a geek kid myself. They're lucky as to get to witness that.

Geez, what I'd give to be in the shoes of those geek kids in the front row. Topless Mullet James Corden again with hugely impressive commitment to supporting the team. Proper Legend. Isak is built like a stick.

Reading through the first ten pages of this thread has been great entertainment. The fact that it happened practically out of the blue, the jizzstorm when the Ornstein and Romano tweets came out, Luke Edwards claiming credit for breaking the fact that we were interested in Isak much earlier on, our Swedish forummers and their erections. So, so sweet looking back. Oh, and some back-and-forth with @Froggyover the relative value of ManU splurging on Casemiro vs us on Isak. Turns out both were crucial buys, whoever would’ve thought eh?