Alan Pardew

YES LADS. Surely a win tonight to get us back on track!

YES LADS. Remember when the bookies had me as a favourite for the job after the Iceland debacle? The first one that is. Alas it didn’t come to pass. See ya later.

Sorry lads it went to voicemail.

I’ll call Gareth now during the halftime. Give him some pointers.

YES LADS!! Another 3 points for England tonight?

YYYEEESSS LADS!

Great player I brought in on the cheap. I remember his first goal for us against Spurs. Great win. Then Fat Ashley sold him for 30 million some years later. But I guess you lot don’t have to worry about such things anymore.

YES LA… hold on mate I see what you are up to here well done mate we’ve all had a laugh. I would probably take a League One job to be honest lads. This talksport thing is getting stale for me. Sittin there listening to these prats calling in on the weekend. see ya later I guess.

YES LADS!! One final dance with The King so to say. Oh to be back on the field, managing. Winning some games, probably lose some as well I’m not perfect lads I know that. I’d take a Championship job as well lads I’ll tell you that much. I hope someone comes through for me. One final dance. I did get 5th and EL while young Eddie had to settle for 7th and the conference. dinner time for me lads. Probably have what everyone else is having. See ya later.

Any jobs available lads?

They should’ve hired the King instead of Rooney. I’d have them competing for the playoffs. See ya later lads.

Some good players come through from that area absolutely yes.

Why are you calling him “Nile Ranger”? Is the lad a criminal?

De Zerbi overrated Italian prat.

I tried my best lads. Moving Cisse to the left allowed us to have one more decent player on the pitch. We had a lot of cloggers in the squad back then as you might recall. Cisse on the left allowed us to play a narrow midfield three which I always liked against the tougher opponents. I’m off to the talkSPORT studio lads. Might grab a big lunch before. See ya later.

Not so sure about that. I don’t see any LMA manager of the year awards on his CV or cup final appearances.

YEEEEEESSSS LADS!

Love some middle class upcoming players. Always a wise idea to further invest in. See ya later lads.

Someone show that goal to that Almiron. Using your right foot is not forbidden.

Yes lads!!! You are most welcome. 5-1 against Stoke. 3-0 against Man U. 2-0 against Chelsea more than once! Thinking about the solid wins against Palace and Norwich too. What a great time, with some exciting players in the squad we had. And please lads don’t compare me with Benitez. He came through for you lot and kept you in the Prem with a much weaker squad after your relegation caused by the balding fool McLaren. I was sad to read he just got sacked in Spain. going for a big lunch today lads. See ya later.

I haven’t seen the incident so I don’t want to comment on it. He got sacked and The King didn’t. That’s all I have to say right now at least. Currently debating these prats on the talkSPORT YouTube comments section about the penalty shout yesterday at the Liv-Man C game so you’ll have to excuse me. See ya later lads.

Villa imploding. YES LADS.

De Zerbi overrated I have to say. He will never reach a European quarter final like The King.

De Zerbi overrated Italian chancer.

I think Young Eddie has done a terrific job so far at Newcastle United. I’m sad to read the negative comments about him on social media and even from some pundits who’ve come through with some right rubbish. remember that quarter final against benfica? With a bit more luck and better finishing we might have beat them. See ya later lads.