Alan Pardew

I’ve applied for the Swansea job lads.

Lads… it’s Chelsea.

@Mike apologies mate I wanted to give a speech but I was distracted by the amazing dinner I had tonight. However I knew it wasn’t necessary because young Eddie knows how to win a football match. Much like me in that regard. See ya later.

YES LADS!

Fucking old cunt.

Hello lads. Happy to see my thread bumped to the front page from time to time. I saw young Eddie bagging yet another win. Palace didn’t offer much, not sure if old Roy ever stood a chance. He’s on a good streak at the moment that Eddie. Hasn’t lost in many games. Just like when I was manager. He knows and understands the value of these streaks. Most top managers do. I had a decent lunch today I must say. See ya later.

Yes lads!

YES LADS! (not the bottom one in front of me. No thanks lads.)

I’m just saying the clubs could activate the clause not that he would actually want to go. I believe he loves it at SJP. I can imagine him as young lad on the streets of Brazil. Playing and training hard. Then watching the telly. The Newcastle games are on. Manchester United beaten 3-0. Chelsea beaten 2-0. Stoke crushed 5-1. He saw the magic. Probably what spurred him on at a young age. The King doesn’t miss. You are welcome lads.

Calm down lads. Remember when we beat Stoke 5-1 at SJP? Mark Hughes… what a curly haired prat. See ya later.

Young Eddie will be a little disappointed to concede late in the game but overall that’s a decent enough point to get. Now the international break is coming up, allowing him to get some injured players back. Then Palace and dortmund at St. James Park. I’m sure the place will be rocking for those, especially the dortmund match. Like when we beat Manchester United 3-0. Maybe I’ll be in the studio again for the CL fixture. If not I’ll surely be watching on the telly. I’ve had a big lunch today lads. See ya later.

The King never misses. See ya later lads.

YES LADS!!! GET IN. Young Eddie… What a manager. Didn’t win manager of the year like I did but still absolute quality.

De Zerbi over-rated Italian prat.

I’m out of a job lads. Gotta save money somehow.

Hard to say with Roy setting them up for a loss. Fucking old cunt.

Evening all. Good lad Young Eddie. That’s 3 clean sheets in a row as well. He understands the importance of streaks. Any top manager does. He got 4th but no manager of the year award. I got 5th but won manager of the year. Both of us fantastic managers in our own way.

YES LADS!!!

Evening.

My thread is rarely on the front page. I believe Young Eddie will fix this and that you lot will beat Brighton 2-0 on Saturday. See ya later lads.

Evening lads. Just arrived home. Had a good chat with Gareth tonight. Too bad that whiny prat Arteta spoiled the fun. What an awful little shit. see ya later.

I can imagine him as a young lad watching us on the telly beat Manchester United 3-0 and beating Chelsea 2-0. Getting 5th and a wonderful EL run as well. That quarter final lads. So close. Could possibly be what inspired the lad to become a footballer in the first place. I hope young Eddie sees the potential and signs him. You’re welcome. The King never misses. Think I’ll go for a big lunch today. See ya later.

I’ve applied for the Wolves job lads. Do you think they will read my application or should I aim lower?

HELLO LADS. Hope you are well and enjoying the preseason. I was surprised to see Saint Maximin sold but business is business lads. Speaking of business I’m still looking for a job. Let me know if you hear of anything. See ya later.

Yes lads! Reckon I could get around 5th with this squad and that’s a CL qualification these days. See ya later.