Joseph

Yeah I really think Schär could do a job against Mac Allister and Mitoma in midfield. (earlier today I was kicked in the head by a horse)

Bookies’ odds aren’t meaningless though, are they? They’re the product of extremely advanced proprietary statistical modelling. We were ludicrously long odds to fail to qualify for top four. If we don’t manage it, it will be because of a disappointing collapse.

Champion's League was maybe a bit too soon for us. A blessing in disguise perhaps?

Longstaff’s legs compensate massively for Slow Mo Bruno unfortunately.

Where can you do this, out of interest?

Actually a bit of a nightmare result that

Here's a needlessly inflammatory opinion that I only half believe: this guy has been getting carried by Longstaff/Joelinton/Willock for a good few months now. One that I 100% believe: he's an unbelievably bad striker of a football. Proper ankle merchant.

Not sure it's a fair comparison, as one guy is being supplied by Aleksander Isak and the other isn't.

Can someone leak the address of whoever's in charge of the PA. I want to send them dogshit in the post.

What the fuck are you on about man? He was 20 yards into the opposition half when Bruno stupidly got caught out. The ball was in the net 10 seconds later. No full back on Earth was going to make an impact one way or the other at that point. Dan Burn Derangement Syndrome is a real thing.

He hasn't put in a dominant performance since prior to the World Cup.

Commentator's ears clearly bleeding because of the PA.

It's mad how differently people can perceive football. Dan Burn has been an ever present at left back in the best defence in the league this season, but Matty Targett is "100x" the left back he is? If that's true then Howe must be a bit of a clown. Utterly mental. edit - fucking hell, just reading back and saw one of you claim the first goal doesn't happen with Burn because he wouldn't have made the utterly unremarkable first time pass that Targett did. When literally two of our four goals involved (also unremarkable) first time passes from Burn. Very odd stuff. Not an issue though as Howe knows the score and Targett will never be a regular starter over a fit Burn.

He’s the absolute definition of a mid table full back. Average in attack and (generously) average in defence. He also has an infuriating habit of making incredibly lazy lunges instead of tracking his man, and was repeatedly getting skinned or giving away free kicks as a result before being hooked for Burn earlier in the season (did it again at one point last night against Iwobi).

He’s becoming freakishly consistent in terms of end product. He’s very good now of course but could well develop into an absolute monster.

He’s unbelievably average. The bench is the best thing to ever happen to him reputationally, but people seem to have it in for Burn.

It's not like this is some educated press from Everton. They're just swarming the ball and we don't have the ability to play through it at all. Poor tbf.

Burn would've been able to at least foul competently.

Miggy back to looking like a competition winner.

Targett will always take the option that requires the least amount of physical exertion. He saw Botman was probably on to cover him so was happy to jog.

Classic Targett - stick a lazy leg out instead of tracking his man.

Isak not starting is a mistake. Also anticipating an Everton goal from a lazy Targett challenge #HoweOut

I had completely forgotten how often he was getting caught dawdling in the ball earlier in the season. Was absolutely infuriating. Just doesn’t happen at all now though.

“The Englishman Joe Ellington” is a bit of a meme from what I can gather, based on the idea that he can’t be Brazilian because clearly he would’ve been called up already.

Search “Joelinton” and “ingles” on Twitter. Loads of these.