M4 Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Something about the coach came to sit next to Joey at breakfast and now he isn't saying any more jokes. ... I think Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JH Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 "Jonas, you're going to be a Premiership success" Chortle chortle chortle... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skeletor Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 "Jonas I will play in more than 3 games next season" Chortle chortle chortle Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 TheBig_Sam is hilarious. Heres some of his latest: Was walking back from bingo when some cabbie shouted out: "Heading home for the election debate, Big Sam?" I yelled back: "Yep - if 'election debate' is another term for having a wank on a bean bag while listening to 'Dark Side of the Moon'". Was phoning round all the local taxi firms, hoping to get a lass on the other end so I could do a bit of my patented phone flirting. Eventually got one. Rhonda was her name. I tried all my moves but the cow just wasn't biting. Decided i'd better bring out the big guns. Told her I'd like to make love to her "via the back door". "Right up the wrong 'un, Rhonda," I said. "Right up the biscuit aisle." Big Sam now plays the waiting game to see if she's got the balls to go to the cops, like she said. Might go hang around outside that new nightclub at the end of our road - pick off some of the young lasses who don't get in. Get fucking in - the missus just went to the shop and brought me back a Snickers Ice-Cream and the new Panini World Cup 2010 sticker album. The missus wanted a go at placing one of the stickers, so I let her put in Dario Veron of Paraguay. As usual, she fucked it up. It's wonkier than Heather Mills on a skateboard. I exploded. Called her a "pile of fucking arse seepage" and give her a kick on the muff. I've calmed down now, though. Sent her on to bed so I can tuck into this Snickers and catch up with the lovely ladies from 'The Hills'. I'm in a right horny mood. Had a high-intensity wank while running on the treadmill earlier. The cleaners will earn their money today. Just finished a 47-minute MSN chat with Sir Alex. It had everything. It was informative, entertaining, educational, sexy AND intriguing. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 TheBig_Sam is hilarious. Heres some of his latest: Was walking back from bingo when some cabbie shouted out: "Heading home for the election debate, Big Sam?" I yelled back: "Yep - if 'election debate' is another term for having a wank on a bean bag while listening to 'Dark Side of the Moon'". Was phoning round all the local taxi firms, hoping to get a lass on the other end so I could do a bit of my patented phone flirting. Eventually got one. Rhonda was her name. I tried all my moves but the cow just wasn't biting. Decided i'd better bring out the big guns. Told her I'd like to make love to her "via the back door". "Right up the wrong 'un, Rhonda," I said. "Right up the biscuit aisle." Big Sam now plays the waiting game to see if she's got the balls to go to the cops, like she said. Might go hang around outside that new nightclub at the end of our road - pick off some of the young lasses who don't get in. Get fucking in - the missus just went to the shop and brought me back a Snickers Ice-Cream and the new Panini World Cup 2010 sticker album. The missus wanted a go at placing one of the stickers, so I let her put in Dario Veron of Paraguay. As usual, she fucked it up. It's wonkier than Heather Mills on a skateboard. I exploded. Called her a "pile of fucking arse seepage" and give her a kick on the muff. I've calmed down now, though. Sent her on to bed so I can tuck into this Snickers and catch up with the lovely ladies from 'The Hills'. I'm in a right horny mood. Had a high-intensity wank while running on the treadmill earlier. The cleaners will earn their money today. Just finished a 47-minute MSN chat with Sir Alex. It had everything. It was informative, entertaining, educational, sexy AND intriguing. It's really well written, very funny. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest firetotheworks Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 Reminds me of this situation me and my mates made up about how Peter Beardsley still lives with his mam, plays out, and that his favourite food is 'Birttheye thmiley faythez' Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decky Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 The missus wanted a go at placing one of the stickers, so I let her put in Dario Veron of Paraguay. As usual, she fucked it up. It's wonkier than Heather Mills on a skateboard. I exploded. Called her a "pile of fucking arse seepage" and give her a kick on the muff. I've calmed down now, though. Sent her on to bed so I can tuck into this Snickers and catch up with the lovely ladies from 'The Hills'. I'm in a right horny mood. Had a high-intensity wank while running on the treadmill earlier. The cleaners will earn their money today. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirge Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 JonasGutierrez Goaaaalllllllllllll inter milito 3-1 about 12 hours ago via Echofon Watching barca and inter champions Is champions Sunderland see you next seson lol about 12 hours ago via Echofon Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest n4e Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 http://twitter.com/LucasLeiva21 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Village Idiot Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 http://twitter.com/LucasLeiva21 Im starting. Aquilanis finger not recovered. Rafas advice- 'keep it simple'. I have my plan - receive the ball from Stevie, give him it back Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decky Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 class Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobby_solano Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 Aquilani keeps giving me evil eyes.Well one eye anyway. The other one is staring at Jamie getting through a whole multipack of Monster Munch Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest n4e Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 Stevie setting his text ringtone as Andy Gray - "Lovely cushioned header, for..." then shouting "GERRARD!" himself. 23 times and counting. All settled down. Pacheco practicing his times tables, Babel penning some lyrics, Yossi crying, Jamie called him "Gary Neville with AIDS". Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 More from TheBig_Sam: Woke up in the middle of the night sucking my finger - with the other hand shoved right up my arse. I'm gonna call it the 'sexy teapot'. I'm in stitches here. Carlton just made a right fool out of Will, while Uncle Phil got really angry with Geoffrey the butler. What larks. Need to get the lock on the bloody bathroom door fixed. Was having a bubble-bath wank there and the missus just walked right in. I was right at the point of climax, shouting "sink the Belgrano, Big Sam!" when I noticed her glare. She'll use this against me. Whore. Get in - my vintage WWF Legion of Doom spiky shoulderpads have arrived from the internet. Lets see that cunt in Homebase throw me out now. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 I love that thing. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
J7 Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 Not that anything I ever say is very interesting. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
iklgizmo Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 From JozyAltidore17 (the Hull City striker sent off for a headbutt on Saturday) on Twitter: "I'm so sorry about yesterday. Made a stupid, immature and costly mistake. I apologize to Hull City and the fans who I let down. I let my emotions get the best of me and lost my composure. Believe it or not this year playing for Hull was to date the best trip I've ever been on." Taken from the BBC website Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddco Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 From JozyAltidore17 (the Hull City striker sent off for a headbutt on Saturday) on Twitter: "I'm so sorry about yesterday. Made a stupid, immature and costly mistake. I apologize to Hull City and the fans who I let down. I let my emotions get the best of me and lost my composure. Believe it or not this year playing for Hull was to date the best trip I've ever been on." Taken from the BBC website http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/chrischarles/philbrownsing595.jpg Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BooBoo Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 That daft sod. Who's singing now? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decky Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 Still cant believe that fucking cockend sang last year, what a cunt. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thespence Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 I see Brown may be back in charge of Hull next season. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
David28 Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 I see Brown may be back in charge of Hull next season. I do the same. I would have never sacked him. With him they probably would have still a chance of staying up now. It was obvious after last season and his spells before that Dowie would fail. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cajun Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 From JozyAltidore17 (the Hull City striker sent off for a headbutt on Saturday) on Twitter: "I'm so sorry about yesterday. Made a stupid, immature and costly mistake. I apologize to Hull City and the fans who I let down. I let my emotions get the best of me and lost my composure. Believe it or not this year playing for Hull was to date the best trip I've ever been on." Taken from the BBC website I like that bit, it's like "well obvious most people think this is a shit team and a shit place to live but believe it or not...." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 From JozyAltidore17 (the Hull City striker sent off for a headbutt on Saturday) on Twitter: "I'm so sorry about yesterday. Made a stupid, immature and costly mistake. I apologize to Hull City and the fans who I let down. I let my emotions get the best of me and lost my composure. Believe it or not this year playing for Hull was to date the best trip I've ever been on." Taken from the BBC website I like that bit, it's like "well obvious most people think this is a shit team and a shit place to live but believe it or not...." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belfast Boy Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 From JozyAltidore17 (the Hull City striker sent off for a headbutt on Saturday) on Twitter: "I'm so sorry about yesterday. Made a stupid, immature and costly mistake. I apologize to Hull City and the fans who I let down. I let my emotions get the best of me and lost my composure. Believe it or not this year playing for Hull was to date the best trip I've ever been on." Taken from the BBC website I like that bit, it's like "well obvious most people think this is a shit team and a shit place to live but believe it or not...." Also a clear sign that he isnt planning on staying there next season. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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