Six good reasons to hate newcastle by Notts Forrest Fans

[Thespence]

Cheeky fuckers..

 

Newcastle are often described as ‘everyone’s second favourite’ team. When Kevin Keegan’s attack-minded team were credible challengers to the evil Manchester United empire, who could fail to admire them?

 

How times have moved on.

 

The failing club from the sportsdirect.com stadium of today is an object of ridicule, their fans can only be mocked for their delusions of grandeur following their slide into Division Two and their style of football is effective, yet terribly dull.

 

Great night out and all that, but as we're about to whopp their 'never won fuck all' asses this evening, here six good reasons not to like them:

 

1) Geordie tears

 

In short, we’re sick of the weeping. The close-up of the sobbing fat Geordie has become one of the iconic images in the modern game. Newcastle fans patented the weeping-fan genre as Keegan’s team blew the title in 1996. Within seconds of the final whistle sounding at Villa Park when they went down, the camera picked out a Newcastle fan crying shamelessly. G.E.T. A. B.L.O.O.D.Y. G.R.I.P.

 

That said, there’ll no better sight than seeing a few fat, topless Geordies crying tonight, as the magnificant Trickies mock: ‘Crying on the telly, we saw you crying on the telly’.

 

2) Massive club syndrome

 

Stick a microphone in front of any randomly selected gaggle of barcodes and I guarantee that they will tell you, with no trace of irony, that Newcastle are a ‘massive club’. Geordies believe that Newcastle’s rightful place is at the top of the Premiership.

 

Despite decades of underachievement – their last domestic trophy was in 1955 – the delusion that Newcastle belong amongst the elite still persists. It was perfectly expressed by David Ginola, who said: ‘It would be a disaster for the city if Newcastle went down. But it would be a disaster for the Premier League as well. The English game would suffer.’

 

Well, I’ll concede relegation might have been a disaster for Newcastle. But a disaster for the Premier League? I don’t think so. Their crap brand of football certainly hasn't be missed. Like Leeds, the rest barely know they're missing. Thing is Newcastle, you're a very average club tucked away in the far reaches of England that isn't known beyond these shores for the simple fact that you're not, and never have been, a big club.

 

No one actually cares about you.

 

 

3) Geordie Messiahs

 

One of the most pathetic spectacles in football is that of thousands of Geordies gathering at the gates of St James’ Park proclaiming their latest Messiah. What is it with Geordies and Messiahs? First they put their faith in Keegan, an inspirational manager but a tactical dunce. Keegan quit in 1997 saying that he couldn’t take the club any further. Quitting isn’t exactly one the characteristics you’d look for in a prospective Messiah, but Newcastle never stopped believing in King Kev.

 

Bobby Robson was hailed as a saviour when he took the job in 1999 but he joined the ranks of unemployed Messiahs in 2004.

 

Keegan’s Second Coming in January 2008 was greeted with delirium on Tyneside and widespread bewilderment everywhere else. The Newcastle fans still had faith in a man who three months earlier had said he was ‘finished’ with management and hardly watched any matches. Inevitably, Keegan walked out on the club in September 2008.

 

As relegation loomed chairman Mike Ashley played his final Messiah card by hiring Alan Shearer. Cue delirium on Tyneside again. f anyone could save the Toon from the drop then Wor Alan was the man to do it. Admittedly he had no managerial experience whatsoever but why should that be an obstacle? Shearer started fining players for turning up late for training – a sure sign of how far the rot had set in – but he couldn’t perform miracles.

 

Newcastle listen up - There is only one messiah. He died 20 September 2004, and he bloody well hated you lot.

 

4) Self-styled ‘best supporters’ in the land

 

Newcastle fans are often described as the ‘best supporters’ in the country, and most of them believe this nonsense. They point to the 50,000 paying punters who turn up at the sportsdirect.com stadium every week, despite the fact that the Toon have won bugger all trophies for decades. That shows just how passionate and committed their fans are, right?

 

Wrong.

 

Newcastle’s support is nothing to sneeze at. It’s a huge one-club cesspit of a city so there’s no market competition. So they’ve not won any trophies for years – so what? The Championship is full of clubs who have won sod all for years. Unlike Newcastle, they haven’t had the pulling power of Premiership football to put bums on seats. Prior to getting yourselves back into the top flight in the early 90's, your support was appauling. I remember you averaging 16000 in the early nineties. This at a time when post-World Cup fever had spread across the nation, so don't give me any crap about recessions and hooliganism.

 

For a one-club city that size, with regular Premierhsip football, of course you're going to get big crowds. It would be very interesting to see how many would still stay around if you endured what we have over the last ten years.

 

 

5) Geordie Nation

 

It was former Newcastle chairman Sir John Hall who popularised the myth that Geordies were a nation apart. ‘The Geordie nation – that’s what we’re fighting for’, Hall once said. ‘London’s the enemy. The South East’s the enemy.’

 

Hall’s phoney North-East nationalism finds contemporary expression in the belief that Newcastle United should be managed by someone who understands the inscrutable ways of the Geordie. ‘You listen to the phone-ins and people talking about it. They’re people who don’t understand this place, they don’t understand the Geordies. I do’, said Kevin Keegan. ‘This is my third time here, my dad was a Geordie, so I understand them and I know what they want.’

 

The idea that Geordie culture is incomprehensible to outsiders was bluntly expressed in the ‘Cockney Mafia Out’ banner unfurled at the sportsdirect.com stadium. Another banner read: ‘YIZ DIVINNT KNAA NOWT ABOUT GEORDIES, ITS WOR CLUB, LERRIT GAN, NIVVA RETORN. GORRIT.’

 

Or, as they say in German: Ausländer Raus.

 

The thing is, there’s no great mystery to Newcastle’s decline. It’s nothing to do with the failure to understand the Geordies, and your arrogant belief in having your own nation. You'd be fucked if you didn't get your welfare state handouts from the rest of us, so just drop it hey?

 

It’s simply down to bad management and underperforming players. End of.

 

6) Pitch invasions

 

6 March 1974

 

Bastards.

 

 

http://www.forestforum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=17378

[Mick]

To be honest, I can't remember 6 things about Forest.

[Guest toonlass]

Was just thinking that. So much work gone into that, and yet they now fall into oblivion for us.

[GM]

To be fair, I think they do have a point with their attack on the whole Geordie Messiah shite...

[Mick]

To be fair, I think they do have a point with their attack on the whole Geordie Messiah s****...

 

[Guest Heneage]

Really have slipped down in stature have Forest, over a decade since they were in the top league.

[Stifler]

I couldn't give a shit, most teams now hate us, yet it wasn't so long ago they were cheering us for the title, and they call us fickle?

 

Seriously though I couldn't careless, we are about to be promoted and it's Forest's problem if they resent us, I'm pretty sure they would be as happy as we are if they got promoted.

[M4]

All the usual suspects in terms of the clichés.

 

Also "Self-styled ‘best supporters’ in the land" and "Massive club syndrome" from coming from Forest sounds a bit off.

 

Meh, whatever.

[AyeDubbleYoo]

Heard it all before, don't give a fuck what any other fans think.

 

Aye, some of our fans are a bit much with their faith in local managers etc, bit that's just the inevitable side effect of do much passion.

 

I love Newcastle, Forest fans can think what they want.

[ponsaelius]

Said it before, who gives a flying fuck?

 

Small time.

[Spider Jerusalem]

2) Massive club syndrome

 

Stick a microphone in front of any randomly selected gaggle of barcodes and I guarantee that they will tell you, with no trace of irony, that Newcastle are a ‘massive club’. Geordies believe that Newcastle’s rightful place is at the top of the Premiership.

 

Despite decades of underachievement – their last domestic trophy was in 1955 – the delusion that Newcastle belong amongst the elite still persists. It was perfectly expressed by David Ginola, who said: ‘It would be a disaster for the city if Newcastle went down. But it would be a disaster for the Premier League as well. The English game would suffer.’

 

Well, I’ll concede relegation might have been a disaster for Newcastle. But a disaster for the Premier League? I don’t think so. Their crap brand of football certainly hasn't be missed. Like Leeds, the rest barely know they're missing. Thing is Newcastle, you're a very average club tucked away in the far reaches of England that isn't known beyond these shores for the simple fact that you're not, and never have been, a big club.

 

No one actually cares about you.

 

 

 

 

Well, why take an hour to write a rambling peice of shit that totally disproves that you hypocritical, inbred, chav, mugger.

[jdckelly]

bless

[Thespence]

The board user who started this thread over there is called Roonaldo that must be there w***** while on here our is called Ro....

[Guest neesy111]

would any fan, write that about forest no, cos we don't fuckin care

 

i've always said, when fan's have a go at us with these statement's it's because they have some sort of resentment for us

[OzzieMandias]

They're just bitter because us beating them 5-0 was the last they saw of the top flight... 13 years ago.

[Mick]

The board user who started this thread over there is called Roonaldo that must be there w***** while on her our is called Ro....

 

 

They are probably flat mates.

[Stifler]

would any fan, write that about forest no, cos we don't fuckin care

 

i've always said, when fan's have a go at us with these statement's it's because they have some sort of resentment for us

Yet half of our match thread against them was about them and that thread and we createdthis thread about it aswell.

[M4]

They're just bitter because us beating them 5-0 was the last they saw of the top flight... 13 years ago.

 

That's actually not true... but might help prove the point even that no one cares

[Doctor Zaius]

NO ONE LIKES US WE DON'T CARE

 

Rock on.  

[bigfella]

To be fair, I think they do have a point with their attack on the whole Geordie Messiah s****...

 

No they haven't.

 

The "Messiah" thing is a media led nonsense, no one apart from them actually calls Keegan, Robson or Shearer the messiah do they?

 

Sunderland actually invented the Messiah bollocks when they so christened Bob Stokoe (ironically a lifelong NUFC fan).

[pedro111]

They're just bitter because us beating them 5-0 was the last they saw of the top flight... 13 years ago.

 

Was that when Shearer belted in an absolute screaming free kick into the top corner at the Leazes end?

 

One of his best imo.

[Mr. Snrub]

We're always being talked about, it's the kind of thing that comes with being a massive club. 

[TRon]

http://www.forestforum.co.uk/showthread.php?p=998722#post998722

 

This was the most satisfying one tbh.

[Mag_in_NZ]

and precisely why would I give a flying fuck about their opinions?

[Thespence]

I think we got the biggest crowd in the UK this weekend not bad for 2nd division club & the gamw was ont he box ay .