Which footballer are you most like?

[Mowen]

As a player.

 

I'm goig to give myself a generous Phil Neville. Bit of a utility man: primarily a full back but can also play in midfield and fairly solid. An honest pro who everyone respects for their work ethic but ultimatley you're always amazed he's still starting at this level and you've always got a nagging doubt he'll need replacing eventually even when he's in good form. Plus he's pretty ugly and never scores.

 

By the way, if you're going to big yourself up loads don't do a Pilko and a) go overboard and try and make yourself sound like Drogba or, more importantly, b) ever let anyone see you play after you've made these comparisons.

[Dave]

Nicky Butt. Absolute shite.

[Jill]

Marcelino; never fucking play and I don't like breaking a fingernail.

[Guest BooBoo]

Shola Ameobi. Generally clumsy and bumbling.

[Mr. Snrub]

Xavi. 

[matta]

Pål Jacobsen

[jdckelly]

a fusion of the worst parts of bramble and boumsong with the card magnetism of smith

edit oh and the pace of geremi

[Foluwashola]

Joey Barton. I love the sound of snapping bones.

[Stifler]

Ameobi, shit but I can come up with something special. In all fairness I read the game well and know what to do in my head but I can't actually do it often.

 

I'm rather good in defence or holding midfield role, if I had a bit more pace and stamina then I would say I'm not half bad in that role.

 

I used to be a fucking mint shot stopper in goal though.

 

 

[Kaizero]

A slow Joey Barton.

 

Or whoever can't run for shit, dives into tackles and gets red carded without really offering anything else than decent offensive free kicks. I get massive angry fits that I forget straight after it happening playing footy, so I really shouldn't be allowed to play football tbh.

[Pilko]

'do a Pilko' you wanker. You never did understand my subtle brand of irony.

 

Probably Shola btw. Or Alan Smith in the holding role, e.g. one good game in ten.

[Mowen]

 

was hoping for more of a bite tbf.

[Bad Mongo]

David Beckham. I'm clearly finished, but I'm still this incredibly handsome and likable superstar.

[stlouismag]

Whoever ate all the pies.

[Kaizero]

Whoever ate all the pies.

 

Blanco.

[Gash]

Boris Johnson, clumsy are usually resort to ploughing through people.

[ElDiablo]

My mates and I have had this discussion, I came out as Benayoun, which I was pretty pleased with.

[Thespence]

My mates and I have had this discussion, I came out as Benayoun, which I was pretty pleased with.

 

Mouthy little jew?

[Kaizero]

My mates and I have had this discussion, I came out as Benayoun, which I was pretty pleased with.

 

Mouthy little jew?

 

[Mike]

Remember that time Titus Bramble caught the ball with his hands? That's me.

[David28]

Probably Scott Parker. I tackle everyone in everyplace everytime. And I don't have great footballing ability but at least can pick a pass or a cross.

[madras]

in my playing days i was  a scott sellars with the gait of chris waddle.

 

 

now i'm a bernd schuster in his latter playing years.

[JH]

Ameobi. I'm shit, crap touch, idiotic and unable to play as part of a team. However, once in a blue moon, if the sun is shining, there are 4 clouds in the sky an it's the year of the rat, I come up with a goal that makes people sit back and go 'how the fuck did he do that?! He's shit!'

[ElDiablo]

My mates and I have had this discussion, I came out as Benayoun, which I was pretty pleased with.

 

Mouthy little jew?

 

Not particularly strong or quick, but good technically, eye for a pass and used to get a decent number of goals. This was before I became horrifically unfit.

[Ronaldo]

My nickname was 'Killer' even though I was a keeper. A cross between a shite Tommy Wright and Kilcline it is then.