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Alan '48 points' Pardew


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from vice magazine:

 

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/print/vices-11-favourite-players-of-the-season

 

MANAGER: ALAN PARDEW

Who else? The man, the myth, the rectangular framed glasses. The Mercedes coloured hair, the rape gag, the headbutt, the pineapple juice. The man who takes selfies with Babestation girls, the man who stole his fitness coach's dinner, explaining that, "When you're the king, you can do anything." The man who saved Newcastle and systematically dismantled them at the same time. The savvy buyer, the fire-seller. The genius, the idiot, the psychopath, the saviour. The Pards.

 

His team have been absolutely useless for months, he's played some bizarre teams, but they're currently ninth in the table with a few games to go. Only one place behind the massively acclaimed Southampton team. The fans hate him, but probably know deep down that things aren't going to get better with anyone else. Pardew is there, wreaking havoc, ripping the soul out of the team and quietly whispering, "Go on then, see if Steve Bruce will do you any better." His existence is a permanent nightmare for Geordies and one that will only get worse if he goes.

 

Never seen this attributed to him anywhere else.

 

Another clueless wanker spouting his mouth off.  Steve Bruce is 10 times the manager Pardew will ever be.  Oh and that story was from an autobiography I think, from his west ham days AFAIR.

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Guest Rent-A-Quote

Thursday May 1st

“I’ve not picked the team for Cardiff yet but he’s in our squad in terms of being on the rota,”

 

“Hatem trained with a different group to the one I was working with today.

 

“The only thing I’d say to the fans is that I hope the team comes first It’s not about me or Hatem, it’s about the club which is much bigger than any of us as individuals.”

 

It is about you and Hatem, Alan! It is the symbol of our struggle. The last dash of creativity we desperately crave as well all knew, which was confirmed by the club, that we don't want to win a cup. So we long to be entertained. Get the ball, take people on. That's it, nowt complicated or too hard to accomplish. Look what Martinez and Rodgers have done in their new jobs. Just imagine what they would do with a player like Hatem!

 

This is Pardew from April 2011 - September 2011ish....

“Next season? He will play a central role in our attacking line. I want to use him as a playmaker, a number 10, just behind one forward.

“I am convinced he is able to score between 10 and 15 goals a season.”

 

“He’s a Newcastle type player – the type that fans love up here, but unfortunately we haven’t seen him."

 

“My view is that he can’t play out wide. He has not got the relish for it and his best football comes through the middle."

 

“He’s a player that can reach heights that other players can’t reach – that Heineken player if you like.

“He brings a creative force to the team that is different to what we have and he’s different to a lot of players in the Premier League. He’s elusive.”

 

 

What Happened, Alan?

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I just can't comprehend this.

 

3 points out of 21, and you're vindicated? f*** off man. :lol:

 

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Cardiff are utterly woeful. We were at home. Beating them is like managing to get to work without shitting yourself then telling everyone what a great employee you are. It's just the expected thing to do, you can't take any pride in it ffs.

 

The man's a f***ing mess.

 

Not that it's even about the recent results- though of course they don't help. It's the horrid football, the negative tactics, the ostracising of anyone with even a modicum of talent in favour of try-hard workhorses, and that every player who arrived with a good reputation has started well then got progressively worse under his tenure.

 

Saying we're unhappy with the 6 defeats in a row is like shitting all over someone's floor and sticking a flag in it, then when they complain you tell everyone it's because they didn't like the colour of the flag.

 

Yes, there's a lot of poo references in there. Make of that what you will.

 

:lol:

 

Well said.  He's a turd that won't flush. 

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Another clueless wanker spouting his mouth off.  Steve Bruce is 10 times the manager Pardew will ever be.  Oh and that story was from an autobiography I think, from his west ham days AFAIR.

 

I really don't think he is mind, would be a marginal improvement at best.

 

We need rid of Pardew for sure, but Steve Bruce really isn't the answer imo.

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Was it Mick Quinn who had it on good authority that Pardew would be replaced in the summer? Is Quinn well connected within the club to be believed?

If it is from my quote it came from Steve Howey who was standing in for Quinn at a talk in last week
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Guest Roger Kint

Fuck the king #GOT

 

If Pardew makes it to his 4th full season with us... I wonder what happens in the first episode. :bluestar:

 

Something entirely different to what you think happened thats for sure :razz:

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Fuck the king #GOT

 

If Pardew makes it to his 4th full season with us... I wonder what happens in the first episode. :bluestar:

 

Something entirely different to what you think happened thats for sure :razz:

 

D'oh :embarrassed:

 

I'll wait an episode, but that's all the patience I have left for that little turd.

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Guest Roger Kint

Fuck the king #GOT

 

If Pardew makes it to his 4th full season with us... I wonder what happens in the first episode. :bluestar:

 

Something entirely different to what you think happened thats for sure :razz:

 

D'oh :embarrassed:

 

I'll wait an episode, but that's all the patience I have left for that little turd.

 

:lol: Worth the wait for it

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Guest Roger Kint

Its rotten when guff like that gets rewarded.

 

Does this mean the likes of Obertan get a bonus too? :anguish:

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We beat a side whose arse had fallen out 10 ten game into the season.  I knew this golden plumb would pull this spin.  He is simply an awful man with no back bone.

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Was it Mick Quinn who had it on good authority that Pardew would be replaced in the summer? Is Quinn well connected within the club to be believed?

 

Micky Quinn another giant turd that spouts hot air on talkshite radio.  The guy is a clown, a LFC obsessed freak, who pretends he really cares and is the sole voice for the NUFC supporters.

 

He may had played for us once upon a time but this fat waste is so obsessed with his beloved LFC, he is completely out of touch with our club.

 

Take everything he says with a pinch of salt.

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Colo recycling Pard's bullshit. He can fuck off as far as I'm concerned. Just goes to show none of them give a fuck and they all took their feet off the pedal the first minute they could afford to.

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"all eligible admin staff employed...."  how many is that exactly?  one man and his dog in a garden shed?

 

Probably not many given Mike is the don of the zero hour contract.

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Now i've only gathered this from the 1 cup run. But knowing the fans well, i'm certain Steve Bruce would take the Cups seriously. He knows if he could get us a Cup, he'd be a living legend for us.

 

Just that little bit of ambition mixed in with ability is probably the best we can get under Ashley.

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