Siem de Jong (still alive)

[Budgie Smuggler]

The problem is, no one in their right minds would take him off our hands as they'll be lumbered with the same problem.

 

He'll more than likely see out his contract making 3 appearances off the bench every 4 months.

[Klaus]

I love the bloke me, hope he's here for years to come. Should have a forum sweepstake on his next injury.

[Hanshithispantz]

Fucking hell man, obviously not his fault and I like the lad too but this is so frustrating.

 

 

[LRD]

Were there any of our players who spent more time on the treatment table than on the pitch ffs.

[Conjo]

So he shot himself in the hamstring with a bow and arrow?

[Shearergol]

Any other useless De Jong's we can try?

[High Five o]

I kind of feel sorry for him.

[Scotty66]

Donate him to a hospital

[Guest firetotheworks]

I'm pretty sure that when this poor fucker wakes up Phil Collins's Another Day in Paradise starts as the theme tune to his life.

[AyeDubbleYoo]

Were there any of our players who spent more time on the treatment table than on the pitch ffs.

 

Yes, probably quite a few!

[Ryan]

Christ. We need to flog him asap, surely someone would take him off us for a couple of million

[Scoot]

What's the chances of him falling out of the plane over the Irish sea on his way home?

[ads]

I'm a big fan of De Jong but enough is enough now. Put the cunt down.

[Nattfare]

R.I.P.

 

Siem De Jong's football career

 

2007 - 2014

[huss9]

rafa and his new medical team ffs. didnt take them long to pick up the curse!

[Chicane]

This guy's a disgrace. Nobody can possibly be injured as much as he is. How the fuck does he even make it to be a professional when he's always injured? Amazing.

 

Can we just strap him to the side of the next rocket NASA sends into space?

[TRon]

Cant believe he was allowed to do that.

 

Thought he would have fired it backward, or held onto the arrow.

 

Also thought it was Klopp for a second.

 

 

 

twang!

 

Prophetic as it turns out, although I wasn't referring to his hamstring at the time. 

[Lenny]

Cant believe he was allowed to do that.

 

Thought he would have fired it backward, or held onto the arrow.

 

Also thought it was Klopp for a second.

 

 

 

twang!

 

Prophetic as it turns out, although I wasn't referring to his hamstring at the time. 

 

Ooh look at me, I can predict the future.

 

Prophetic.

[Elric]

Permacrock. I'm sure he's a lovely guy, good player when he can stay fit etc. But then so were Woodgate and Dyer to name a couple (good players that is, they were cunts in real life by all accounts). No one is gonna be daft enough to take him off our hands but I fucking wish they would.

[Guest reefatoon]

Permacrock. I'm sure he's a lovely guy, good player when he can stay fit etc. But then so were Woodgate and Dyer to name a couple (good players that is, they were c***s in real life by all accounts). No one is gonna be daft enough to take him off our hands but I f***ing wish they would.

 

The difference there is we got some use out of Woodgate and Dyer, who both put in some cracking performances for us. I still don't have a clue what De Jong is actually like, as we have not seen anything of him the whole time he has been here. Just a complete non entity in the same bracket as Luque and Marcelino.

[TRon]

The problem is, no one in their right minds would take him off our hands as they'll be lumbered with the same problem.

 

He'll more than likely see out his contract making 3 appearances off the bench every 4 months.

 

Not really too bothered tbh. For the sake of getting peanuts, we may as well keep him here. There's a good player in there, and in today's market getting £3m or so is meaningless. Even if we can get him fit for 50% of the season he could win us some crucial points.

[Chicane]

Anyone remember that kids show the Raggy Dolls? It was about a bunch of faulty dolls that got threw in the reject bin cause they were shit. That's this guy. I bet if you open him up he's just made of toilet paper.

[Tiotes Witch Doctor]

Taxi driver on one of those s**** FB groups:

 

"On Saturday I posted about Siem de Jong!dont know if anyone remembers well he back from Ireland while the rest of the squad are continuing their tour and me being the nosy fucka asked him why he back so soon? Now make of this what you wish but he asks me to take him to central station when he's going for a scan??? Now howay why is he going to the central station when the hospital NUFC use for medicals and scans and the likes is the Nuffield in jesmond approximately 500 meters from his home."

 

If true either hes injured again or hes off.

 

I reckon he said he was going for scran and was actually heading to The Centurion for some bait.

 

Turns out I'm ITK.

 

I've got more info £5 per PM.

[Robster]

Prophetic.

[Elric]

The problem is, no one in their right minds would take him off our hands as they'll be lumbered with the same problem.

 

He'll more than likely see out his contract making 3 appearances off the bench every 4 months.

 

Not really too bothered tbh. For the sake of getting peanuts, we may as well keep him here. There's a good player in there, and in today's market getting £3m or so is meaningless. Even if we can get him fit for 50% of the season he could win us some crucial points.

 

That's £3m plus whatever wages he's on though. Given his history I'd be amazed at him being fit for even 50% of the season. Then, when he is 'fit', it'll take him games to get up to match fitness. Once that's happened he'll probably get swallowed up by a fucking sink-hole opening up under Burton's pitch or impaled by a Unicorn or something. This fucker just can't be relied on at all. Not his fault, but it's taking the piss. Like I said, and others before me, it's irrelevant, no one in their right mind is gonna take him off our hands. Ah well.