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4 hours ago, Candi_Hills said:

Andersson was much better than Joelinton. Statistically, artistically and hairstylistically. Joelinton is the worst centre forward I've ever seen play for us, beating the likes of Riviere, Guivarc'h and Chopra. The man has no qualities at all.

- He can't head

- He's weak as water

- He's not quick

- He has no instinct in the box

- He's shite at holding it up

- He's literally never hit one clean shot with his instep before

- He usually passes to them

- He has a touch like Barry Bennel

- And he's got the shittest most disinterested attitude we've seen in years

If we'd brought him in on a free I'd still think the deal needed invetsigating.



Agree about the hairstyle, can't recall much else about him. Didn't he score like 2 goals in his entire time here?



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From wiki, and not taking into account minutes on the field or shitness of the team at the time:

Andreas 4 in 27                  1 in 6.75

Big Jow 5 in 65                   1 in 13

Riviere 1 in 26                       1 in 26

Mitro 14 in 65 (including a season in Div 2)               1 in 4.6

Tomasson 3 in 23                  1 in 7.6

Kitson 10 in 36                        1 in 3.6

Shola 79 in 397                     1 in 5

Guivarc'h 1 in 4                      1 in 4

Chopra 1 in 21                        1 in 21   (lol)

Luque 1 in 21                           1 in 21   (lol)


And just for comparison, a few fondly remembered players who didn't fare that much better.

Kluivert 6 in 25               1 in 4.1

Big dunc 8 in 30                1 in 3.75

Sibierski 8 in 39               1 in 4.87








Edited by Candi_Hills

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1 hour ago, Optimistic Nut said:

A couple of more goals between now and the end of the season so we could get £15-18m back for him in the summer might be handy.

We’d need more than a couple to get that much for him:lol:

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He’s nowhere near a £40m player....ever,  but I’m still holding out hope there’s a better player than we’ve seen in there. Coming into a new league and being coached by the 3 Steves was never going to work out well. Get the takeover done, get a managers and some coaches with credentials in and then let’s judge him fairly. If he’s still as shit as he is now, send him to the glue factory.

I’ve still got a sneaky suspicion he might prove us all wrong and become a bit of a fan favourite. But not under Bruce

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He might just be one of those players that needs crystal clear direction, ironically the kind of direction he would get under someone like Rafa.

Being told to go out, run around a bit and make a nuisance of himself is not effective management for someone who is clearly struggling.

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He has no redeeming qualities. It's not even a case of 'theres a player in there somewhere'. He's too slow and cumbersome for this level. He doesn't have good enough technique or physical presence to make up for it either.

Consistently breaks up rare, good passages of play. More often when were breaking, it falls to him and we lose all momentum.

Had enough of him now, sell him, send him out on loan, whatever. There's no benefit to having him in the team at all. 

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6 minutes ago, Candi_Hills said:

Two Haalands. Even from the same league.

:lol: I doubt there are two strikers in the world that contrast much more than those two. One is powerful, direct, constantly trying to put the ball and the keeper in the net, the other a lump of jelly who can't seem to kick it accurately more than 2 yards and has all the awareness and bravery of a fucking hedgehog. Got to be the most bent deal ever.



Edited by LionOfGosforth

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  • 3 months later...


Joelinton replied: “It’s a dream. Newcastle is a great club, but they are below those others. I know that to get to this level I need to work harder and make a better season than what I’ve done here. I want to play in the Champions League again, but that just depends on what I do at Newcastle. Things happen very fast in football. I have to keep working, confident, with positive thinking.”


Also asked about how he fits into Bruce’s system for the Magpies, he said: “It has been changing in recent years. In the first season I played very isolated up front, the formation was different, and that hurt me a little bit. Since last season we have been playing with two strikers and that has improved. Steve Bruce knows me well and knows how I like acting. I also know what he likes and I hope to have a great championship.”

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