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Sell Dubs for £30m, Woodman number one for a couple of seasons til we sell him for £30m too.

 

£56.5m profit.

 

Woodman to have his Pickford season then move on to one of the 7th-11th places clubs.

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Sell everyone!

 

I think we are  :lol:

 

Not everyone just the good ones

 

Aye we need to hold onto the Joselus and Colbacks to ensure there's no room in the squad for newcomers.

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Guest chopey

The only plausible explanation is that Ashley is selling the furniture before he sells the house, however we are owned by a sociopath so fuck knows what happens now. 

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Guest Howaythetoon

If a takeover doesn’t happen Ashley will metaphorically torch the whole lot this season. I predict when we face Arsenal, several more players will have been sold for a profit, no manager will have been appointed and no new permanent signings for a fee will have been signed. 40k fans will turn up, Colback will wear the armband and get sent off and there will be lots of boos, some mild protests outside before kick off and Arsenal will leave with 3 points and a comfortable win.

 

The Chronicle will point out 5 things to learn from the loss, ending on an upbeat and positive outlook for the season ahead. The season will pass by in a flash and we will be saved from another takeover saga by Ashley who will give a pre recorded interview to Sky August 2020 just before our first game saying the buck stops with him, he’s sorry, he does care and he’s going to be more hands on and pump some of his own money this time which will give everyone a boost following relegation.

 

Shola will take temporary charge as manager and will get us to the playoffs, but we’ll lose on pens at Wembley to Sheff Wed which they will see as revenge for snatching Bruce from them even though they celebrated his sacking when we went down. The day out at Wembley will wipe away any doom and gloom for fans though as the media praise them for leaving less rubbish behind at the renamed to Albert Square Trafalgar Square than the mackems did and having not just Shola as manager but a black Geordie Shola is a source of pride and hope that as long as he’s around, better days are around the corner.

 

Ifsholagetsthegigonapermwestay Hashtag goes viral on twitter and fans crowd fund Wor Flags’ Shola for the Toon banner they plan to ambitiously hang from outside the Gallowgate so people in the new offices towering above the stand can snap chat away.

 

All efforts end in vain though as Alan Smith eventually gets the job on an 8 year deal. Shola doesn’t even get a text to say thanks but no thanks and if it wasn’t for the Chronicle’s 5 things Smith as manager must get right report, he’d still be riding his bike around Fenham probably today unaware his half eaten Apple had passed its eat before date.

 

Being such a classy bloke, rather than chuck it on the ground, he lobs it into a bin from 12 yards out as if he was putting a penalty away all those years ago. There is no roar of the crowd or huge grin though milking the adulation of fans and teammates, just loneliness, resentment and a single tear.

 

A cry for all of Newcastle.

 

Not all is lost though as Smith gets off to a good start with 5 things the Chronicle got right he did right, drawing 1-1 away to newly promoted Burton Albion who even the mackems were hoping would lose after they beat them to the final play off place by goal difference, Sunderland needing a 2-0 win but managing only a 1-0 win.

 

Steve Bruce bounces back from his Toon nightmare winning celebrity big brother and selling the movie rights to his books, Quentin Tarantino will be the director and although Bruce has some editorial control his choice of lead man was overruled by Tarantino who vowed he would never work with George Clooney again and he hadn’t even heard of Bruce’s other choice Derek Thompson.

 

Samuel L Jackson was nowhere near the list of others, but Bruce was happy enough he would be lead man. Everyone remembered the Yorkshire Ripper he said to himself, and if they didn’t, they read about him. Everyone will remember Samuel Jackson and the film and if they don’t watch it, they’ll read about it.

 

Bruce couldn’t help chuckle at himself for remembering details from the book and how everything just fitted together as if fate wrote the script to his own life and that explains everything. You know, he thought, everyone would remember him as a writer and if they didn’t, they’d read about it.

 

His football chapter was over at last, a new chapter begins and this time Bruce can write his own ending, free from bad owners and mercenary footballers.

 

The world of literature and the big screen has a new star!

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If a takeover doesn’t happen Ashley will metaphorically torch the whole lot this season. I predict when we face Arsenal, several more players will have been sold for a profit, no manager will have been appointed and no new permanent signings for a fee will have been signed. 40k fans will turn up, Colback will wear the armband and get sent off and there will be lots of boos, some mild protests outside before kick off and Arsenal will leave with 3 points and a comfortable win.

 

The Chronicle will point out 5 things to learn from the loss, ending on an upbeat and positive outlook for the season ahead. The season will pass by in a flash and we will be saved from another takeover saga by Ashley who will give a pre recorded interview to Sky August 2020 just before our first game saying the buck stops with him, he’s sorry, he does care and he’s going to be more hands on and pump some of his own money this time which will give everyone a boost following relegation.

 

Shola will take temporary charge as manager and will get us to the playoffs, but we’ll lose on pens at Wembley to Sheff Wed which they will see as revenge for snatching Bruce from them even though they celebrated his sacking when we went down. The day out at Wembley will wipe away any doom and gloom for fans though as the media praise them for leaving less rubbish behind at the renamed to Albert Square Trafalgar Square than the mackems did and having not just Shola as manager but a black Geordie Shola is a source of pride and hope that as long as he’s around, better days are around the corner.

 

Ifsholagetsthegigonapermwestay Hashtag goes viral on twitter and fans crowd fund Wor Flags’ Shola for the Toon banner they plan to ambitiously hang from outside the Gallowgate so people in the new offices towering above the stand can snap chat away.

 

All efforts end in vain though as Alan Smith eventually gets the job on an 8 year deal. Shola doesn’t even get a text to say thanks but no thanks and if it wasn’t for the Chronicle’s 5 things Smith as manager must get right report, he’d still be riding his bike around Fenham probably today unaware his half eaten Apple had passed its eat before date.

 

Being such a classy bloke, rather than chuck it on the ground, he lobs it into a bin from 12 yards out as if he was putting a penalty away all those years ago. There is no roar of the crowd or huge grin though milking the adulation of fans and teammates, just loneliness, resentment and a single tear.

 

A cry for all of Newcastle.

 

Not all is lost though as Smith gets off to a good start with 5 things the Chronicle got right he did right, drawing 1-1 away to newly promoted Burton Albion who even the mackems were hoping would lose after they beat them to the final play off place by goal difference, Sunderland needing a 2-0 win but managing only a 1-0 win.

 

Steve Bruce bounces back from his Toon nightmare winning celebrity big brother and selling the movie rights to his books, Quentin Tarantino will be the director and although Bruce has some editorial control his choice of lead man was overruled by Tarantino who vowed he would never work with George Clooney again and he hadn’t even heard of Bruce’s other choice Derek Thompson.

 

Samuel L Jackson was nowhere near the list of others, but Bruce was happy enough he would be lead man. Everyone remembered the Yorkshire Ripper he said to himself, and if they didn’t, they read about him. Everyone will remember Samuel Jackson and the film and if they don’t watch it, they’ll read about it.

 

Bruce couldn’t help chuckle at himself for remembering details from the book and how everything just fitted together as if fate wrote the script to his own life and that explains everything. You know, he thought, everyone would remember him as a writer and if they didn’t, they’d read about it.

 

His football chapter was over at last, a new chapter begins and this time Bruce can write his own ending, free from bad owners and mercenary footballers.

 

The world of literature and the big screen has a new star!

 

Meanwhile HTT becomes Hitzfeld’s golf caddy

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https://www.theguardian.com/football/2019/jul/13/premier-league-transfers-club-by-club-guide

 

"Premier League transfers so far this summer and what each club still needs"

 

(a) this headline :lol:

(b) the newcastle bit :lol:

 

Save everyone a click: -

 

Newcastle

What have they done so far? Precisely nothing on the incoming front, having been without a manager since the departure of Rafa Benítez. New signings are said to be in the pipeline once the vacancy has been filled and straightaway the new manager must set to work replacing goalscorers Ayoze Pérez and Salomón Rondón and out-of-contract midfielder Mohamed Diamé.

 

What do they still need to do? Find out how much money is available for strengthening. The £30m raised from the sale of Pérez could double if Sean Longstaff joins Manchester United, but that does not mean the new manager will be granted a war-chest and free rein.

 

Budget Possibly £30m. Even Mike Ashley must realise players need to be replaced.

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Guest chopey

I think players will definitely go, the fact that the English window is the first to close is perfect for Ashley, 2 or 3 will leave after with the promise to replace them in January

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I hope our quality players go. The likes of Lejeune & Schar in particular. Can see the likes of Ritchie & Lascelles happy under Bruce as that’s what they were brought up on but those two in particular need out.

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