Football pet hates

[Guest firetotheworks]

This lad at work, 28 years old, has literally just started following football. Got himself a Leeds season ticket this year and goes with his mate, and knows nothing about football. Like f*** all. His whole football life started at the start of this season, and now I'm getting "Good result for you boys at the weekened. Yorkshire, Yorkshire"

 

:anguish:

 

For a start, you're from Yorkshire, so your opinion on football is already very f***ing questionable before you open your mouth. Then there's the fact you've chosen to support Leeds, 28 years in to your life, and actually talk about them. Any other Leeds supporter I know is wise enough to steer clear of conversation about their shambolic club.

 

Now obviously with this f***ing game on Wednesday it's all he talks about. I just want to reply with, "You don't have a f***ing clue and it's like keeping a kid entertained talking this utter drivel".

 

There should be a rule for 'new' football fans. Nee football patter with any normal football fan for at least 2 years. And if you get told to shut up, know your f***ing place and shut up.

 

:anguish:

 

Even though they lost, it's unbearable. He's been chanting 'Yooorkshire, Yooorkshire, Yooorkishire'

 

Get me out of this county!!

 

In the continuing story of Bumbling Bremner...

 

Today he described Leeds' penalty against Bournemouth as a "...freekick with only the sub keeper to beat."

 

He forgot the word for Penalty.

 

Leeds, Leeds, Leeds, Leeds, Leeds.

 

Make yourself a cup of tea and then sit back and tell him that everyone from Yorkshire is dishonest.

[WarrenBartonCentrePartin]

jeez.

[Guest bimpy474]

Parents and managers who dont know the rules of football, i refereed a game Sunday and one team got a penalty, handball and a clear one, kids tend to do the daft handballs. Penalty is taken, the taker hits the post, it comes back to him and he puts it in. I give an indirect free kick to the defending team as the taker has now touched it twice without another player touching it.

 

The manager of the penalty taking team and his knuckle dragging parents are going mad, so i went over and just said "get your phones out and check if i was right". Obviously someone did and at the end of the game i got told "it's only a kids game you should have let it stand" "you cunt" "you wanker" "you're shit" were some of the apologises i noted being muttered.

 

So when it suits they want the rules to not apply. And they wonder why youngsters are getting intimidated by reffing. I wasn't at my age but we have 11/12/13/14/15 yeard olds reffing, and a lot of those are girls, getting shouted at aggressively by hordes of adults is charming. You need a thick skin but it would be easier if the numbnuts complaining knew the fucking rules.

[AyeDubbleYoo]

Shit, is that real? You can't knock a rebound in yourself unless someone else touches it?

[Nobody]

Shit, is that real? You can't knock a rebound in yourself unless someone else touches it?

Of course you can't

[Guest firetotheworks]

I thought that was a well known one, tbh. People tend to get tripped up on the things that rarely happen.

[AyeDubbleYoo]

Never even imagined that, I've definitely never seen it happen.

[Guest bimpy474]

Shit, is that real? You can't knock a rebound in yourself unless someone else touches it?

 

Unless the GK touched on to the woodwork, the take can't touch it until someone else does. It's exactly the same for a corner taker if he hits the post facing him and it comes back to him, i've only ever had that happen once. The penalty was my 4th i think.

 

I've had a player smash a free kick against the bar and then he won the header on the edge of the box as it came back.  Gave a free kick to the defending team, i had to explain it to him but he was ok.

[Guest bimpy474]

Never even imagined that, I've definitely never seen it happen.

 

Dont you remember Bilbao taking a Pen against us in the UEFA Cup and their penalty taker doing it, we still lost but....

[Deuce]

Parents and managers who dont know the rules of football, i refereed a game Sunday and one team got a penalty, handball and a clear one, kids tend to do the daft handballs. Penalty is taken, the taker hits the post, it comes back to him and he puts it in. I give an indirect free kick to the defending team as the taker has now touched it twice without another player touching it.

 

The manager of the penalty taking team and his knuckle dragging parents are going mad, so i went over and just said "get your phones out and check if i was right". Obviously someone did and at the end of the game i got told "it's only a kids game you should have let it stand" "you cunt" "you wanker" "you're shit" were some of the apologises i noted being muttered.

 

Picturing Mrs. Bimpy at the matches, despite having no stake in either team, just absolutely abusing you.

[madras]

s***, is that real? You can't knock a rebound in yourself unless someone else touches it?

same for any dead ball, the person taking it can't touch it again till someone else has, free kicks, corners, throw ins, even kick offs (at which the ball also has to move at least it's own circumference before someone else touches it, or so it used to be)

[Oakie Doke]

It's also true that if a ball hits the corner flag on it's way out, and it is impossible to determine whether a corner of throw-in should be given, the game must be replayed and each player receives a fine.

[Guest Slippery Sam]

s***, is that real? You can't knock a rebound in yourself unless someone else touches it?

same for any dead ball, the person taking it can't touch it again till someone else has, free kicks, corners, throw ins, even kick offs (at which the ball also has to move at least it's own circumference before someone else touches it, or so it used to be)

 

Pav in goal at the Leazes End (my memory is recalling):  Indirect free kick to the opposition; player kicks it straight over the wall; Pav, instead of just letting it into the goal, tries to save it - fails, touching the ball in the process, - and the goal is given.

[AyeDubbleYoo]

I remember my brother letting a shot from an indirect free kick go into his net playing for the primary school team. The only people not worried were him and the referee. He must have been 8 or 9, unique awareness that!

[Segun Oluwaniyi]

People who complain about the international breaks.

[Guest Roger Kint]

SSN having 4 days on this Zanuzaaj/England rubbish. Cant decide if its stupidity or arrogance that blinds them from the minor fact the kid will have a say in it and will no doubt be capped by Belgium years before he is eligible. Why would he wait til 23 to play for our sceptic national team over the country of his birth who are pretty good these days?

 

Oh and any goal from distance that has to be described as 'Beckhamesque'

[mattypnufc]

People who complain about the international breaks.

 

They are shite though aren't they?

[Guest palnese]

Players who walk away from the ref when he's clearly calling them back. I'd send the bastards off every time. Disrespectful pricks.

 

Rafael did it the other day. I was shaking with rage.

[AyeDubbleYoo]

Players who walk away from the ref when he's clearly calling them back. I'd send the bastards off every time. Disrespectful pricks.

 

Rafael did it the other day. I was shaking with rage.

 

I would give out so many cards for dissent if I was a ref.

[Minhosa]

Players who walk away from the ref when he's clearly calling them back. I'd send the bastards off every time. Disrespectful pricks.

 

Rafael did it the other day. I was shaking with rage.

 

Agree with this. Should be an instant booking. Showing the ref your back is something you can imagine kids up and down the country copying because they've seen some disrespectful cunt do it on TV.

[Disco]

Walk away from ref shaking head, ignore first whistle and then saunter back, procede to pull socks up when ref is talking to you. PL footballer 101 that stuff.

[BrettNUFC]

Cuntish refs like Phil Dowd who love the cameras on them and take a simple 15 second booking, into a 2 minute show. Just book the fuckers and resume play, don’t need to call them over to you, start laughing with them about the foul as if they are your best mates, proceed to show the yellow with a smug face on, then just as you think the shows over and play can carry on, they will nit pick at the ball not being on the exact blades of grass to where the foul was made!

[Guest Slippery Sam]

Players who walk away from the ref when he's clearly calling them back. I'd send the b******s off every time. Disrespectful pricks.

 

Rafael did it the other day. I was shaking with rage.

 

Players have no obligation to go to a referee - for whatever reason the ref deems it desirable.  However, one would think a player would be walking on thin ice for future decisions, if he had walked away from a ref previously.

[AyeDubbleYoo]

Players who walk away from the ref when he's clearly calling them back. I'd send the b******s off every time. Disrespectful pricks.

 

Rafael did it the other day. I was shaking with rage.

 

Players have no obligation to go to a referee - for whatever reason the ref deems it desirable.  However, one would think a player would be walking on thin ice for future decisions, if he had walked away from a ref previously.

 

What? Don't the players have to do what the referee says?

[Guest bimpy474]

Players who walk away from the ref when he's clearly calling them back. I'd send the b******s off every time. Disrespectful pricks.

 

Rafael did it the other day. I was shaking with rage.

 

Players have no obligation to go to a referee - for whatever reason the ref deems it desirable.  However, one would think a player would be walking on thin ice for future decisions, if he had walked away from a ref previously.

 

What? Don't the players have to do what the referee says?

 

Yep, players don't actually have to go to the ref, the rules are bit vague around this. A player just has to acknowledge he's recieved whatever punishment the ref has given out, ignoring the ref can be a bookable offence though.

 

Just put into the rules properly like it is in Rugby. Then that solves it.