Theregulars

I want to believe we were only that abject because that's why Stoke turn football games into into. We looked very short on ideas and intelligent movement, Cisse was awful today. Glad he scored but his overall game was absolute plonk, and he behaved like a petulant gimp. Win's a win and half the side played in Russia, so that's something; but we have the players to kill a side like them. How Marveaux doesn't get in the side is beyond me. I'm also really bored of Tiote's rashness.

Well played lads. Great game. Cheers Yorkie for organising. Cheers OCK for letting me megs you.

Haha... Good thing Yorkie is buying me some five quid shin pads. I will be as robust as I am prone to sunburn and stoned.

Not far from the truth. Think he told me about four times, anyway. 3 degrees, thank you kindly. All as useless as each other! Yes to shin pads, something cheap please! The pothead accusations are utterly nefarious. As a solicitor I warn you that you have just defamed me, sir. The shape of your head is open to interpretation. It is the shape of a pot. Haha! 10 points for effort, but the test is what the statement would lead the reasonable person who sees/hears it to believe. I'll drop my claim of you buy me a home jersey with 21 "ginger Pirlo" on the back.

Not far from the truth. Think he told me about four times, anyway. 3 degrees, thank you kindly. All as useless as each other! Yes to shin pads, something cheap please! The pothead accusations are utterly nefarious. As a solicitor I warn you that you have just defamed me, sir.

If anyone has any spare shin pads can I use them? Just set off from London without any, didn't realise obligatory. I find they obstruct the waving of the wand that is my right foot.

As inevitable as the demise of an XL bacon double cheeseburger within arm's reach of Colin Rance.

You were one apostrophe away, you cockney beached whale.

Neesy if you don't go I'm going to hunt you down and barbecue you.

Neesy will play; no way he can stay away. I'll be ringing his parents to make sure he's coming. "Out all weekend" you joker; I've never seen you awake beyond 2:30AM.

Absolutely gutting. Played one of this year's best teams off the park to lose to a horrible, shit flukey goal. Gutting.

Will the shit storm of awful luck never end this season?

To be fair we were promoted last year, so inching closer to pro level. Going on the proviso that the Conference isn't professional, 25 back to back promitions will see us safely into League 2 (and, on the way, we'd need to find a stadium; any basic infrastructure and a magic sponge). I regard that as easily doable, so I'll be a pro by the age of 52. Get your requests for pictures in early, they'll sell like hotcakes.

I was a blue the one time I played before; if this is of any assistance. I also play in a Saturday team which we worked out was a mere 23 divisions below the Conference South.

I'll be bring James Godden, I think his name on here was like James_G_NUFC or some other imginative moniker. I'm staying at his so he should definitely be involved.

The fear of Ginger Pirlo sets in.

By the way, Danny Fox for MOTM

Give over man, we're 4-2 up and Cabaye played the entire 90 mins Thursday.

Woeful substitution

Mancrush

What the hell is going on?

Such a pleasing half.

Details are irrelevant at this stage, Stuart. I may concede that there is an element of mirth. However, there is no hint of mirth in the impending downfall of Colin Rance's dignity.

In unison the onlookers chant. "GP! GP!" They cry hysterically; a blank canvas awaiting the delicate touch of the artist's brush.

Have you got me on that? Only added today, I'll definitely be up.