Elbel1

Nathan Jones, You've been there too long Apologies to Bannanarama

Give the Everton fan in you life a cardiac arrest

Has he had to return his payoff?

As Dubs has played for United and Man Utd this season is he allowed to play for another club this season?

Christ. He's braver than I thought. Has to be a decent chance of him getting killed by one of those American trophy hunter arseholes

A good start is not being Sam Matterface

Howe - Has the defence looking mean Bruce - Licks the plate clean

Howe - Spends international breaks improving each man Bruce - Spends international breaks working on his tan

Howe - Uses spare moments to think Bruce - Uses gravy as an energy drink

Howe - Makes plans and takes stock Bruce - Chicken stock

From memory I think Bruce was covered in sweat on his photo as he'd been trying to prise the top off the trophy to check if it was full of Pringles

He also asked a venue for £1 for every car parked in the arena car park as 'if he wasn't on stage they wouldn't be in the car park' Venue were bemused but agreed to the request When the invoice was paid Peter Kay questioned why he only received £8 for the car parking Turns out that the venue only had 8 spaces which doubled up as a loading bay When making the request he thought the NCP car park opposite belonged to the venue

I'm sorry... what did you say? Shower....gel? Gel for the shower? Actual gel to take into the shower?

Sensible decision If they don't start to pick up points soon they'll need snookers I'll get my coat

There was a general concern from insiders throughout his tenure regarding a lack of attention to detail. For example, weeks before the start of the Championship season, he admitted to not knowing EFL clubs were now permitted to use five substitutes. Jesus wept

He's got one of the worst records of any manager to reach over ten games

I want it written in blood Ideally Bruce Snr's blood but as long as it's from one his 'coaching' team I'll accept it

Why is he dressed like the villain from a Bond movie?

I was going to say fat, boring and 38 years old

They only appear in the middle of Lidl once a year so you've got to be quick

Just read that the train strike has been cancelled because the queen died. Fair play to the union, the death of a monarch is a hell of a demand to take to the negotiation table

Operation London Bridge was if she died in London Because she passed in Scotland its either Operation Unicorn (Corpse transported on the Royal Train) or Operation Oversight (The Royal Remains are transported by air) Both add an extra day to the official mourning period

Did anyone else see the antics of the Man City support staff member. As soon as they equalised his first reaction was to turn round and bait the Newcastle fans. He did the same when Trippier was first shown his red card and again when it was overturned. Numerous fans told the stewards what was going on but they kept saying 'we know'.

I feel sorry for Mrs Bruce She has to see his sex face every Christmas and on his birthday

?? In a shit load of debt, cos he likes to have a bet, Danny Guthrie ??