Ketsbaia

Manset is absolutely awful.

Heston Blumenthal's a talented bloke, like. Never thought I'd see him managing Reading. Out of the frying pan and into the dugout.

I hope Jose gets obsessed with bingo and this dirty hobby keeps him in the North East - home of the bingo.

OptaJose Opta Sports 63% - Barcelona's lowest possesion in a Liga BBVA match this season came at Racing on the opening day of the season. Controlled.

If I ever hear Roger Tames' voice again, I'm gonna go on a rampage in Tenerife.

Will that make them Cheick-mates?

So no Routledge, Tiote, Smith, Nolan, Gosling or Ben Arfa. Is Guthrie ok? This game could get embarassing.

That ST offer is very clever. Several clubs have tried unique offers, but Hartlepool's is right up there.

Collison is good but he's been injured.

They have an uncanny ability to out-shit themselves

Fucking hell. So what exactly is the point of it now?

He won't quit. But if, in theory, he has.....it's been timed so Redknapp can take it. Taken Spurs as far as he can, no Europe, maybe having to sell key players because of that etc.

The thought that people like them exist in this country, never mind so close to home, sickens and horrifies me. Look at his face, man....LOOK AT HIS FACE!!!!!!

Awww man, I'm really getting my hopes up now. Its an extra reason to hope Wigan go down, and Sewelly's idea of chucking in Routledge is good. The idea of adding N'Zogbia and Rondon to our weaponry is drool-worthy. And given the choice between us and Sunderland, he'd pick us, just like 80% of players would.

Zog is a great player and if he's matured, I'd love him back at the right price (nothing £10m+). And he'd definitely want to come back.

Nolan not playing isn't really a problem at Chelsea because its those games where he becomes a passenger. Obviously Tiote will be hugely missed. Has it been confirmed if Routledge can play? Unfortunately, I don't think theres an alternative to Barton playing in the centre. Personally, I'd love to see Ferguson get a game. Krul Simpson Taylor Coloccini Enrique Routledge Barton Smith Jonas Ameobi Lovenkrands BENCH: Harper, Tavernier, R Taylor, Ferguson, Tiote, Ranger, Kuqi

Fugazi, you're a hero

Apparantly he's been playing for 15 years and has played in all 4 leagues, as well as his country. One day when I'm especially bored I might piece together the clues.....

Same. It's almost like Ferguson at Man United (although not quite). Seems like he's making way for Ganso though. Evolution time at Milan.

'The Player' column (penned by an anonymous player) in this months FourFourTwo said most players absolutely resent fans and wonder why they should bother listening to an angry man that has achieved nothing like this in their life. Basically, we think we know football but we really don't. An interesting viewpoint; just remember that the next time you bump into Nile, Shola, Kevin or even Jose......he probably already hates you.

So is Mexes. Also, Callejon and Sahin are off to Real Madrid, Toprak is off to Leverkusen and Albin is going to Espanyol. Lets nail a couple of players down ASAP.

This is where some early summer signings are needed. Reports said lately that we were deep in negotiations with some players so maybe in the few weeks after the season ends we can announce something (Callejon, Taiwo, Mexes, Albin, Sahin, Toprak etc have already been announced).

Some interesting twists in this saga recently. Liverpool are hesitant, he's determined to stay in England, speaks passionately about Newcastle, he wants to see who we buy but we're pushing for an answer before he can do. Not sure how this is going to go now. If in doubt, stay pessimistic

:mackems: Where to begin? Each line is excruciatingly funnier than the last. It's too much, man. :mackems:

That Inter home top is lush.