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Yep Alan Smith should be one of the first names on the team sheet.

Disco Des Hamilton has to be in there.

Mint.

It comes with being a manager at a big club. Pardew is a small club manager though so he's not used to it, can't deal with it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but we've never heard Alex Ferguson, Arsene Wenger or José Mourinho say anything like that.

Can't stop laughing at this Roy Hodgson vine <iframe class="vine-embed" src=" width="600" height="600" frameborder="0"></iframe><script async src="//platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Aye, sounds like bollocks.

I'd be satisfied with pretty much anyone except Joe Kinnear, Dennis Wise and Tony Pulis.

@lee_ryder: Exclusive: Faustino Asprilla offers his services as Newcastle United striker coach http://t.co/UI0ckaVqtz #NUFC

Aye, that sounds like someone Ashley would go for

Premier League. If Ashley feels we'll get relegated, I think he'll sack him. That's all he's bothered about afterall! The way Ashley looks at it is he's already given him cash to spend over the summer window. He won't wanna bail him out with more cash/signings in January. Instead, he'll want a new manager in to ensure we stay up. Can see it being Pulis or something, but at this moment in time, I'd take anyone with a positive attitude towards the game of football. We won't be relegated though, there are at least 3 teams worse than us. We'll be around 10th-15th come Christmas and that'll be enough for Ashley. Absolute rubbish. Which teams will score fewer goals and concede more? Certainly no more than 3 at best. Well, 16th or 17th is still good enough for the fat man. I'm sorry but what in the whole of 2014 gives you the belief we have enough to avoid relegation? 3 wins in 20 is it? If Pardew stays, with this team, we are swimming in concrete boots. Tim Krul, Janmaat looks a good player, Cabella and De Jong will get up to speed, Aarons looks like he could be the real deal, etc. It won't be exciting or pretty but I suspect we'll avoid the drop.

Premier League. If Ashley feels we'll get relegated, I think he'll sack him. That's all he's bothered about afterall! The way Ashley looks at it is he's already given him cash to spend over the summer window. He won't wanna bail him out with more cash/signings in January. Instead, he'll want a new manager in to ensure we stay up. Can see it being Pulis or something, but at this moment in time, I'd take anyone with a positive attitude towards the game of football. We won't be relegated though, there are at least 3 teams worse than us. We'll be around 10th-15th come Christmas and that'll be enough for Ashley. Absolute rubbish. Which teams will score fewer goals and concede more? Certainly no more than 3 at best. Well, 16th or 17th is still good enough for the fat man.

Wasn't it voted worst city in the UK?

Premier League. If Ashley feels we'll get relegated, I think he'll sack him. That's all he's bothered about afterall! The way Ashley looks at it is he's already given him cash to spend over the summer window. He won't wanna bail him out with more cash/signings in January. Instead, he'll want a new manager in to ensure we stay up. Can see it being Pulis or something, but at this moment in time, I'd take anyone with a positive attitude towards the game of football. We won't be relegated though, there are at least 3 teams worse than us. We'll be around 10th-15th come Christmas and that'll be enough for Ashley.

I really don't see why Ashley would sack him, unfortunately.

Nah, Pardew's not going anywhere. Only thing that would make his position insecure is relegation but even then he's not certain to be sacked IMO. Pardew is perfect for the job in Ashley's eyes, a manager who doesn't give a fuck about the fans and happily accepts the "affordable football" model as he's overjoyed to even be managing at this level. Pardew is the anti-Keegan and that's just what Ashley wants, he's not going to find anybody more suitable.

Hull making some great signings tonight. Brucey is a ninja.

You don't know what it is? I can help you. It's a helicopter.

Negredo to Valencia apparently.

Aye, good signing that.

In bits here, it's so crap www.bleacherreport.com/articles/2183060-zenit-st-petersburg-sign-bart-simpson-on-transfer-deadline-day I hope they don't have actual needs. Imagine if we did that today. :lol: Oh God please. :lol: would be amazing. "Newcastle have signed Squawky the sportsdirect seagull". There'd be actual deaths. The Honey Monster is a tough act to follow. http://i.ytimg.com/vi/7TZka3k9Drw/hqdefault.jpg

This is so fucking stupid.

Diakité has left the mackems. Wouldn't surprise me if we signed him.

Javier Hernandez joins Real Madrid on a season-long loan. Real have first buying option on the striker at the end of the loan.

Fumaca

We'd see some blitzkrieg football.