Nucasol

Edwards joining Holt and Mark Douglas on the upper deck of the HMS Superior Morals. Martin Samuel and Andy Dunn will join them shortly when the tug ‘Virtue Signaller’ ferries them over. Samuels is worried he’ll miss out on the canapés at Admiral Lineker’s Welcome Aboard party ahead of embarking to their month long junket in that bastion of human rights Qatar.

Douglas is a puff piece merchant like his pals in The Athletic, writes lovely wordy articles after the fact but has fuck all intel on breaking transfer stories. Also found his last line dig at the kit unnecessary and tedious: There’s certainly enough enterprise and endeavour there to suggest, from a footballing perspective, this is a project starting to gain a bit of momentum. Just ditch the shirts.

I’m sure there’s software you can get to check for plagiarism that, if you plug all the ‘in peyce’ posters in, will prove it’s unanimously the same six figured Silksworth mutant bashing away on the keyboard.

Shelvey and Bruno from last season’s good run.

The one area we need to go toe to toe with them and we’ve got 2 of our starting 3 out. Would take a draw before kick off.

The BBC (British Boys Club) were in full force yesterday. Needed Tim Sherwood’s gilet to really capture the stinking essence of Brexit however.

Speykman?

I think @Paully has more explaining to do with the Coors Light. Goats piss in a beer pump.

Having no luck so far with injuries. Wilson, Shelvey, Krafth, Fraser and now Bruno.

So much love for this level of stattery.

Screams failure in life if he’s trying to make chums with mackem heedbangers.

Yedlin 2.0.

“On the river where the blokes all shag their goats…”

Even Fulham that season didn’t come close.

Lots of beewwwwws for Tim Krewl.

Dear god. They’re not even trying to hide it now, the absolute pack of howler monkeys.

Cowies dropped, chewing gum in, jaw going at 180 bites per minute.

Hamstring injury apparently.

He did really well on loan at Sheffield Wednesday when we sent him out in 2019/20. Looking at his career, he really has been a perennial loanee until the last couple of years. 4 goals in nearly 100 games for a largely forward focused player is pure dross.

Surprised he found the time between sending cock snaps to lasses.

Hairy Wanks.

Best tweet juxtapositions - record signing next to your ‘rivals’ manager walking out on them:

Hahahaha. Simply the West marra

Provides voiceover audio for stroke rhythm: “Faster Darren…no too fast”

Let the bed wetting commence. Would rather have Diaby at this stage, more pressing need.