Manchester United

[TomYam]

A rat as co-owner, a rodent beyond description as captain, Marcus Ratford still at the club and thousands of mice in the stands. No wonder there is a plague on Old Trafford.

[Pablo]

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through old Trafford all the creatures were stirring and the mice lay like turds.

[Boo Boy]

There fans have not realised they have in Sir Jim the Manc Mike Ashley (c) Boo Boy. He has been appointed by Glazers to be their lightening rod to deflect from them whilst they pocket more cash in dividends etc.

[David Edgar]

12 minutes ago, Pablo said:

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through old Trafford all the creatures were stirring and the mice lay like turds.

 

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Old Trafford,

Not a trophy was shining, no glory to be savored.
The banners hung limp, the crowd’s cheer grew thin,
As dreams of dominion seemed far from within.

The billionaire owner, Sir Jim in his chair,
Penny-pinched so tightly, the staff felt despair.
No bonuses, no raises, for those working hard,
While the club’s grand ambition lay bruised and scarred.

The stadium itself was a sight to behold,
A crumbling relic, decrepit and cold.
With water that dripped from ceilings so high,
And mice in the corners—oh, how they would scurry by.

The food kiosks reeked of a foul reputation,
Two stars for hygiene—a grim designation.
Fans queued with caution, holding their breath,
Avoiding the pies for fear of their death.

And out on the pitch, the woes carried on,
For the passes of Ugarte were hopelessly wrong.
A midfielder so clumsy, it brought fans to tears,
“Where’s Scholes or Keane? Get them out of their chairs!”

Yet deep in the Stretford End, the silence grew loud,
The once-vibrant voices lost in the crowd.
No chants, no banners, no songs to sing,
Just the hollow echo of what hope used to bring.

For the future was grim, and the path only steeper,
With each penny saved, the club sank deeper.
No vision, no passion, just penny-pinched strife,
A shell of a club gasping for life.

So here lies Old Trafford, a shadow, a curse,
Merry Christmas to all—next year will be worse.

[Froggy]

[andycap]

It is remarkable how you can let a stadium get that bad like. 

Be tetnis jabs at the turnstiles needed before long 😂 

[Cronky]

Amorim has issued the inspiring observation that this might be one of the lowest moments in the club's history. I think that might also be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Please can someone get this guy to shut up. I'm beginning to feel sorry for them and I don't like the feeling.

[Dokko]

[Froggy]

What a rat. 

[Dokko]

14 minutes ago, Froggy said:

What a rat. 

 

Man or mouse? Shame he didn't follow through his convictions. 

[Chris_R]

4 hours ago, Cronky said:

Amorim has issued the inspiring observation that this might be one of the lowest moments in the club's history. I think that might also be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Please can someone get this guy to shut up. I'm beginning to feel sorry for them and I don't like the feeling.

 

[Mike]

We're really in here showing our ass like we don't play them in a week.

[loki679]

Probably the biggest sign of their downfall and loss of relevance is that they're not really even the most contemptible cunt fanbase anymore.  Liverpool have picked up that ball and ran with it.

[Chris_R]

1 hour ago, Mike said:

We're really in here showing our ass like we don't play them in a week.

True but I honestly don't fear then anymore. The boogeyman status they had has gone. 

 

Of course they could beat us, any team can, but I'm no longer thinking it's an automatic defeat like I did for the last 30 years. The spell is broken.

[Super Duper Branko Strupar]

1 hour ago, loki679 said:

Probably the biggest sign of their downfall and loss of relevance is that they're not really even the most contemptible cunt fanbase anymore.  Liverpool have picked up that ball and ran with it.

 

Liverpool have always held that title tbf.

[madras]

12 minutes ago, Super Duper Branko Strupar said:

 

Liverpool have always held that title tbf.

Close but true.

[David Edgar]

7 hours ago, Chris_R said:

True but I honestly don't fear then anymore. The boogeyman status they had has gone. 

 

Of course they could beat us, any team can, but I'm no longer thinking it's an automatic defeat like I did for the last 30 years. The spell is broken.

 

Well yeah, they're just a mid table team now. We lost to West Ham not long ago. Shit can happen.

[Ronson333]

Officially cooked

 

 

Edited December 25, 2024 by Ronson333

[David Edgar]

Replaced him already if these reports of vermin are to be believed.

[Pablo123]

4 minutes ago, David Edgar said:

Replaced him already if these reports of vermin are to be believed.

Replaced him with the head chef of the Job Bulman. Rumour has it he's taking the menu with him to Manchester 

[Froggy]

What other club has headlines about a change in their chef?

 

It's beyond ridiculous now. 

[midds]

2 minutes ago, Froggy said:

What other club has headlines about a change in their chef?

 

It's beyond ridiculous now. 

Must admit I agree, who gives a fuck. It's like the press are playing a game of Buckaroo and just piling on tiny, insignificant stories in the hope that one more (little thing in isolation) is the trigger that fucks the whole job completely. 

 

and I'm right here for it 

[Cronky]

28 minutes ago, midds said:

Must admit I agree, who gives a fuck. It's like the press are playing a game of Buckaroo and just piling on tiny, insignificant stories in the hope that one more (little thing in isolation) is the trigger that fucks the whole job completely. 

 

 

In which case I think they're pushing at an open door.

[Dr Jinx]

It’s like turbo Mike Ashley. And I do have sympathy for it. No supporters should have to experience mismanagement to that level. Yet these charlatans are welcomed in the Premier League.

 

I think the likes of Rio Ferdinand will learn a valuable lesson when they throw around phrases like “his club he can do what he wants”

 

It’s easy to say something like that when it doesn’t mean anything to you.

[Dokko]

5 minutes ago, Dr Jinx said:

It’s like turbo Mike Ashley. And I do have sympathy for it. No supporters should have to experience mismanagement to that level. Yet these charlatans are welcomed in the Premier League.

 

I think the likes of Rio Ferdinand will learn a valuable lesson when they throw around phrases like “his club he can do what he wants”

 

It’s easy to say something like that when it doesn’t mean anything to you.

 

It's that reason they deserve it. 99.999% of Manure fans agreed with him when he made those comments. They deserve everything they get.