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Captain Steak Bakes

David Edgar

by David Edgar
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Abacus

Abacus

Posted
Posted

From the Birmingham mail.

 

It was third time lucky for Steve Bruce as he finally signed Jed Wallace for West Bromwich Albion after two failed attempts at previous clubs.

 

“I think I’ve tried to buy Jed twice before and not been able to get him,” Bruce revealed. “He’s a very good player, and so is Swift. They’ve added that little bit of quality, which is what we needed at the top end of the pitch."

 

“Can I reveal a secret now? He was at our game on the last day of the season," admitted Bruce. "That’s how long ago we were planning. I shouldn’t really say that, but there you go, if I get into trouble, so be it."

 

A few things from a small amount of words.

 

1. Top end of the pitch. That phrase infuriates me, as it's his usual lack of precision or understanding of football and he uses it every time. He's just saying roughly whereabouts he wants stuff to happen. Ah, top end of the pitch Steve? Want more goals, right? It's a bit like when he tried to explain how league tables worked.

 

2. Cosying up to the press by giving them his 'secrets'. In this case, that secret is that he seems to have tapped up a player.

 

3. Lack of doing his job. So, he is making a virtue of thinking about a specific player on the last game of the previous season, before the new one starts. What forward planning, to be thinking literally one game ahead!

 

4. It's also a player he had just admitted he'd tried to buy twice before for different clubs, so it's not like he'd put any real thought into it anyway. He just tries to buy the same players again and again regardless of what's needed (see Choudhury, Hamza).

 

What a stupid hopeless oaf.

 

Good old Steve. One fawty two, one fawty three (using his own mental counting system and clapping his hands).

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Nucasol

Nucasol

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Abacus said:

From the Birmingham mail.

 

It was third time lucky for Steve Bruce as he finally signed Jed Wallace for West Bromwich Albion after two failed attempts at previous clubs.

 

“I think I’ve tried to buy Jed twice before and not been able to get him,” Bruce revealed. “He’s a very good player, and so is Swift. They’ve added that little bit of quality, which is what we needed at the top end of the pitch."

 

“Can I reveal a secret now? He was at our game on the last day of the season," admitted Bruce. "That’s how long ago we were planning. I shouldn’t really say that, but there you go, if I get into trouble, so be it."

 

A few things from a small amount of words.

 

1. Top end of the pitch. That phrase infuriates me, as it's his usual lack of precision or understanding of football and he uses it every time. He's just saying roughly whereabouts he wants stuff to happen. Ah, top end of the pitch Steve? Want more goals, right? It's a bit like when he tried to explain how league tables worked.

 

2. Cosying up to the press by giving them his 'secrets'. In this case, that secret is that he seems to have tapped up a player.

 

3. Lack of doing his job. So, he is making a virtue of thinking about a specific player on the last game of the previous season, before the new one starts. What forward planning, to be thinking literally one game ahead!

 

4. It's also a player he had just admitted he'd tried to buy twice before for different clubs, so it's not like he'd put any real thought into it anyway. He just tries to buy the same players again and again regardless of what's needed (see Choudhury, Hamza).

 

What a stupid hopeless oaf.

 

Good old Steve. One fawty two, one fawty three (using his own mental counting system and clapping his hands).

Throw Elmohamady into the list of 'tried and trusteds'.

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PauloGeordio

PauloGeordio

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Gaztoon said:

Jeez.  Imagine what we could be seeing right now  if we didn't get the takeover.

 

??

 

 

 

Thankfully something I’ll never do. Watching flobby gob implode and destroy other clubs is amusing to me now, and makes me pinch myself that the nightmare is over and that whole shit stain is not our problem anymore.

 

onwards and upwards :indi:

 

 

Edited by PauloGeordio

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LV

LV

Posted
Posted (edited)
59 minutes ago, Ben said:

25/1


I got on it a couple of weeks back :lol:

 

Edit: and it’s 33/1 on Betfair currently 

 

 

Edited by LV

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Mike

Mike

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Gaztoon said:

Jeez.  Imagine what we could be seeing right now  if we didn't get the takeover.

 

??

 

 

 

 

Be six weeks from the choudury transfer getting over the line.

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54

54

Posted
Posted

Oh is see West Brom are currently on a training camp in Portugal, weird that, given Steve has a villa in that neck of the wood, just a coincidence I imagine.

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Bintang

Bintang

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, RodneyCisse said:

We better not loan anyone decent to them btw.

 

Bastard deserves nothing from us other than paying for Clark and Darlow to get them off our books.

 

He deserves the catering bill sent to him that he will have racked up during his tenure here.

The Saudis can turn a blind eye to a couple of hundred mil lost the way most of us can to a quid down the back of the sofa, but even they will be having fits when they look at his just eat accounts. 

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Mahoneys Tache

Mahoneys Tache

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, Nucasol said:

 

Made some big signings - a new US international desserts coach from The Cheesecake Factory, raiding Plymouth for the pastry chef from Ginsters and stealing a new grill master from local feeder Smethwick Kebab & Takeaway.

 

 

 

The digbeth dining club shuts its doors and bolts them when he turns up. Like a saloon in the old west when two gunfighters are facing each other down at high noon. 

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Wolfcastle

Wolfcastle

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, Mahoneys Tache said:

The digbeth dining club shuts its doors and bolts them when he turns up. Like a saloon in the old west when two gunfighters are facing each other down at high noon. 

Pie Noon.

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Bintang

Bintang

Posted
Posted

Noticed he is visiting the mackems in December. Hopefully they are around the relegation zone and completely riled up and he will get the normal mackem welcome. They hate him almost as much as we do. A nice cup tie at Villa around that time would make things even better. Cabbages at dawn

 

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Ben

Ben

Posted
Posted

Just have to keep doing the right things, Roll our sleeves up, I've been in this game long enough now.........dust our selves down, I'm getting on with it turning up every day until I'm told not to, its very dissapointing.

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Pilko

Pilko

Posted
Posted

One thing I've noticed more recently and learned to retrospectively hate is the way he refers to his long career in management but can't even recall how long he's been stealing a living for. He'll get asked about the latest (and frequent) difficult patch of form and say something like:

 

"Well you kneuw, I lean on my experience. When you've been going for twenty-odd years, or worreva it is like I have, you learn to keep on bashing away"

 

or

 

"Look, some of the things flying around have been disrespectful. Ah'v managed 400, 500 odd games in the Premier League or worreva it is and you lot think I don't know how to run a warm-up. It's nonsense"

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