Ronaldo

Quality today. His kicking needs much improvement but he does a lot of the finer aspects of goalkeeping very well. Defence has confidence in him, too.

What's he done now? Nothing, Neesy's a dick. Actually no, you're a dick. But yeah, Mitrovic gave the ball away 3 times in added time. I think that's what Neesy's referring to.

Atsu and Ritchie on the wings, please.

We look so shit sitting deep and trying to counter, like. With this lineup, anyway.

He's 100% wrong. Not least because our managers are all fucking horribly unqualified to lead the national team.

Hate that lineup but the bench is obviously ridiculously strong. Should win comfortably as this lot are shit even by Championship standards.

Er, no.

Alreet, Tony Gale. Nowt to do with that. Rafa's just far, far more comfortable setting a team up to soak up pressure and counter.

That is pretty profound, like.

Cabaye's prime here lasted less than 4 months, mind.

Repugnant.

Unfortunately they'll never get a chance to.

You constantly brought up Coloccini for like 4 years when everybody else disagreed with you, man. Sip your medicine like a man. Doesn't even make any sense. Only the odd mong disagreed, too. If that's the cap you wanna wear, coolio.

He's an utterly shit LW, mind. I'm happy he's getting goals but we'd be much better with threat on both sides so teams are prevented from just doubtling up on Ritchie and Yedlin.

God shut the fuck up about Dummett, man. We've had full-backs who can't go 2 games without massively fucking up and costing us goals. He doesn't do that. Leave him be. Weak link, ffs. He's a defender who defends well.

Well this pretty much defines you as a poster you big wet gaping fanny.

He doesn't struggle against pace at all, like.

Yeah it's Jim who died from a heart attack on his kitchen table.

Awful even by his standards tonight.

McClaren's a fucking mong, like. The perfect example of how much you can blag with no talent if you tickle enough backs without scratching them.

I'd like to see him partner Shelvey in CM at home. Playing him so high up the pitch is asking him questions he really doesn't have the answers to, though.

His second goal was fantastic. He's got loads of quality, like.

We also looked much better with him on the field.

Never a no.10 in about a billion years.