Mattoon

We're 12-8 down on goals in the last 10 minutes this season. But how many in average per game, our last minute goals are 1 a game I would expect, a la Cisse whereas I would expect a few of ours might be attributed to 2 or 3 as we trail off and get mauled. A lot of them took points off us. 86th minute at the mackems. 81st and 85th minutes at Stoke. 90th minute at Man U 85th minute at Swansea 90th minute at Wigan 8th place if the table didn't "gloss over" those Performances not results being glossed over.

We're 12-8 down on goals in the last 10 minutes this season. But how many in average per game, our last minute goals are 1 a game I would expect, a la Cisse whereas I would expect a few of ours might be attributed to 2 or 3 as we trail off and get mauled.

I'm not saying we're good, but on the other hand you could argue that the manner of the Sunderland and Liverpool defeats made everything seem much worse than it was form-wise. Anyway, thank f*** it's over now! I was actually agreeing with you Ian, maybe I wasn't clear Your right, it's the performances that have made it feel so bad, it's the scrappy wins that make it look better than it is. You're also right in saying those two performances have brought extra doom and gloom on us!

It's bizarre reading that and comparing it to the feeling that we were dropping like a stone. The table glosses over the performances and the last gasp winners at home have propelled us up there. Plus the last two home games have really brought home how bad we are and it's easy to forget those scrappy points when we're in free fall performance-wise.

Considering how much we work on "shape" thats awful from us The only thing I can take from the Arsenal game is us being ultra defensive and doubling up on their players. Some useful info there Happy Face.

They can't afford him and fat sam has already said even if they could the Financial Fair Play stops them from being able to. I wondered about this but Fat Sham usually spouts s*** so who knows. Like the idea of two forwards though so we can put Shola out to pasture. Pasture? Straight to the glue factory! On the topic of Carroll, I said in January I wouldn't touch him simply because of the way it'd make us play and I didn't want to see that, but it seems Pardew is intent on playing that way regardless of the personnel. So if we're keeping the fraud we may as well buy a player that can make the ball 'stick' and make something of it. Not that I'd be happy with it, just the best of a bad situation!

Completely agree Beckham has done enough to warrant his own thread. A great bloke and a model professional, will be a loss from the game.

it is true beni wants to stay in england, it showed after he left lfc that he waited a year and a half until chelsea came up, but us trying for him would be a waste of time, he can wait another 18 months for a top job in england but he certainly wont wait on nufc even if the job becomes available tomorrow, spurs perhaps one day? Would be crazy for us to not even try though, surely questions have to be asked by MA and co, he can only say no and he would have the tools to make us a solid team. I'd change the avatar, I keep thinking James is posting and therefore ignoring it entirely. You've been lucky, so far. Meaning?

Even if Ashley doesn't care about how we play or where we finish, surely he must realise that if they're not used properly, his players will devalue and there will be no money to be made using his template. You don't buy a Ferrari to go off-road racing and if you do you'll end up with a fucked up useless Ferrari that no one wants.

http://cdn2.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1223629/stone-cold-laughing.gif I think Pardew has sapped me of all hope an expectation!

Is everyone happy now?

Shteeve McLaren wouldn't be a huge disappointment, has proven ability at club level, he was just an embarrassment when in charge of Ingurland. Would rather we were more ambitious than that but I'm not adverse to the notion. As to the 'blueprint' (as I can't think of a suitable name for it) I agree that if we are to implement it then we need to do so with continuity. Yes it has its flaws and yes Goof was sort if the final option in replacing Ba, albeit in the short term, he was never gonna be a 15-20 goal a season striker and had Cisse been seriously injured at any point we would be screwed. However any show of willingness to break the mould and we no longer hold the power in negotiations and that's the line that has worked so well for us under Ashley.

This is the one point that will bury him in the long run. There is a distinct conflict of interest between the type of player we are scouting/employing and the type of player that suits Pardews desire to play the game. Ashley has a blueprint of players he wants to buy, these players are not suited to the game Pardew plays (jumpers) and this (let the straw clutching begin) could be the boiling point in their relationship. Not only that (which is painfully obvious with the scouting/deployment of Vurnon Anita). There's also a quite obvious discrepancy in what we need and what we buy at times. Just look at his comments about Remy/Sissoko with regards to what was done in January. He complains about the lack of goals because we didn't sign Remy. What we needed was goals after Ba left. At any other club, the obvious way to go would after missing out on Remy, would be to try for another striker rather than going for Sissoko instead, mainly because he was a "good deal" at the time. He's aiming indirect critisism at the way the club does business - cause we will never go for a play that we need over one that represents a good financial deal. As much as I hate Pardew, he has a point on this one, the blueprint has its flaws and this being point and case, it took them too long to replace Carroll and it has taken them too long to replace Ba. We had no choice in losing Ba, but we had a choice to replace him, the blueprint prevented us from doing that as there was no 'bargain' strikers on our radar. Packing the midfield and burying our head in the sand hoping that Cisse can carry the team injury free was criminal.

it is true beni wants to stay in england, it showed after he left lfc that he waited a year and a half until chelsea came up, but us trying for him would be a waste of time, he can wait another 18 months for a top job in england but he certainly wont wait on nufc even if the job becomes available tomorrow, spurs perhaps one day? Would be crazy for us to not even try though, surely questions have to be asked by MA and co, he can only say no and he would have the tools to make us a solid team.

. Statistics......... Aaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhh!

This is the one point that will bury him in the long run. There is a distinct conflict of interest between the type of player we are scouting/employing and the type of player that suits Pardews desire to play the game. Ashley has a blueprint of players he wants to buy, these players are not suited to the game Pardew plays (jumpers) and this (let the straw clutching begin) could be the boiling point in their relationship.

I can guarantee that Pardew, should he lose his job with us, will never manage a team in the premiership again, maybe even the league. Who would want/take him? He was the managerial equivalent of a lepar when we took him. That should tell you enough about his quality!

Martin Samuel is a fucking window licker

Exactly, people say we haven't been lucky this season, but I'd argue our luck stems to having 3 teams in the league that have managed to be shitter than us somehow. Previous seasons would have seen us go down IMHO.

May I just ask these supastats, do they count all the hoofs we make as long balls or are they perhaps considered also or alternatively as clearances?

This is frustrating me too The quality of the long ball doesn't f***ing matter! People are instinctively trying to break it down into 'hopeful' and 'targetted'....Broadly agree that the where raw stats are concerned the intention isn't so important. Sides like Spurs play a lot more long ball than people realise but most of those are bourne from postive posession and 'choices' at key moments of play. Ours generally are more of the 'hopeful' variety is the majority feeling. This ties in with Pards style of play which is the maj gripe...WBA I'd say are pretty much a long ball team as are Norwich but they do enough of the other stuff so that it doesn't look so bad or desperate - style wise. I think it's that long ball that you are talking about which pisses us fans off. It's the long ball to Cisse who will never ever win a header against a stronger central defender. It's not hard to see that our long balls are just like you said hopeful passing. ...and the main reason for that and something we've discussed for 2 yrs is Pards refusal to continue with a 433 (so someone can drop off and come short to recycle play). 1 in 5 of our passes are made by a central forward placed midfielder with a 36% accuracy, 1 in 5 of those are to a wide forward player and 40% result in open attacking play in the front 3rd of the pitch. Only Arsenal and Chelsea have better percentages than this, therefore you're wrong and Pardew is just misunderstood.

And here we go again with the stats and numbers game, again! The truth of the matter is we are playing shit football under Pardew, we are utterly embarrassing, we are flaccid in attack and inept in defence and there's nothing in between. For all I care we could have an average of 50 "chances" a game, but the truth is we hardly ever look like scoring and certainly don't create much danger in an around their box. Fuck your stats, I've got eyes and 20/20 vision.

QPR and Wigan aren't bad away days. Reading is just s****. Any news on MaCmanamans shattered leg? No but Dave Whelan broke his in the 1960 FA Cup Final, he wouldn't like you to know though. Dave Whelan broke his leg in an FA Cup final??

Poyet?? I would take Martinez.....Both are Definitely affordable.... I would take Poyet's hairdresser right now tbh