gbandit

Announcer’s kegs must have been caked in the brown stuff when he saw big Vlach’s name so took the easy way out

Tragic bloated format

As always a tireless workhorse that doesn’t have natural attacking instincts save for that beautiful cut inside and curler on the left foot that we haven’t seen for a while. A top lad

Does feel like we got him at an absolute snip when you see him breeze his way through games like that

Someone needs to get that Chelsea thread up and running

It was an odd tactic to have Willock on corners and have him pass it down the line

Could watch this lad ping a pass all day

Thought he looked quite sharp, his runs in behind looked dangerous. Nice lay off to Gordon, hard to judge against this opposition but he’s got a lot of good attributes. Feels like that height, pace, strength and technical ability would struggle not to be a success

Hopefully weathering barrage after barrage will have done his confidence some good

Slightly surprised by how strong the bench is. Delighted for Osula. Thought there might be a few development lads who would get a bench spot but Howe’s playing it safe which is fair enough

Fuck off, while it was a terrible decision that never gets rescinded if it was one of our players

£2-3bn for a new stadium? Howay man

26-0, Vinny Jones eats three of their players at the final whistle

I’ve not watched him enough to judge his overall game but in an attacking sense he’d completely transform our right hand side. He’s got that perfect mix of directness, trickery and being clinical

Michael Oliver despises Brereton Diaz like

Russell Martin always looks like he’s going through some heavy withdrawal symptoms

Have Southampton taken some brown bags before this game?

Semenyo is so fucking good

Kerkez looks a really good player going forward

Lovely tempo to this game

“Lee, come on, this is the last time we’re going over this, they’re not chocolate coins, spit them out”

I think Maddison would have been very good here but I don’t think his attitude is good enough to be a top player. He’s so busy trying to be snide that he actually forgets to play football sometimes. Think if he was fully focused like a Luis Diaz or a Milner he’d be absolutely amazing but he goes missing a lot, especially if the crowd gets on his back

I do question Guehi’s “nice guy” credentials a bit. It’s great that he doesn’t kick up a fuss and is loyal and should be lauded for that. However, it doesn’t scream ambition. Maybe he just didn’t fancy the toon and if that’s the case, fair enough but if he did really want to come then maybe his character is too passive to become one of the best in his position

There’s no way he’d fill the role of Van Dijk but then no one would come close to him at his peak

The one major positive for Man U is that even if their most recent signings don’t perform then they’re not getting rinsed by them, apart from De Ligt that is