gbandit

Positives: We’ve secured a key piece to our youth recruitment Negatives: He’s had a lobotomy

We fucked it so badly

See you later la’

An amazing finisher but all of our structural problems in attack stem from our wingers being awful at carrying the ball against teams that sit. Barnes would be perfect if we had a right winger that could stretch teams. We can’t go into another season with no winger being able to beat someone with their dribbling ability

Probably, disgusting

Mane (although we may not need him) and Mateus Fernandes please

Should have been gone last summer at the latest

For what? Will be no more than £1.5m surely?

I don’t think Eddie’s been able to figure out how to make the team work this year. Elanga not playing and Murphy taking his place is the clearest admission of a failed transfer we’ve ever had with Howe. Elanga and Wissa were billed as players that would come in, immediately improve us and not need a lot of time to bed in. Obviously Wissa has had an injury but I always felt it would be a terrible transfer. Those two have massively fucked our season. I don’t think he wanted Woltemade as he has few of the qualities Howe looks for in a player, other than height. It’s up to Howe to figure out how to make it work with Woltemade and it’ll be an indictment on him if he can’t make it work as Wolte has the talent to be a success in this league, just not as a number 9 We’ve had an aging defence, with Schar, Burn and Trippier all playing lots of minutes still. We’ve been fucking awful on the wings all season. Hot and cold Anthony, Barnes only really able to play in the final third, and Murphy and Elanga being the chuckle brothers on the right (with no laughter track). Perhaps most concerning is the fact that our much lauded midfield hasnt been remotely up to expectations and when Howe’s tried to make changes to it in terms of personnel it hasnt really ever worked. I still back him and I’m desperate for him to perform next season. However, he needs to back Woltemade as a 10. He needs to fuck Wissa and Elanga off and get some actual technically gifted players in the squad. We need Miley and Bruno in midfield with Tonali. If Tonali goes, we need a technical footballer in there. The only place we need more athleticism is at the back because we’re so reliant on Thiaw for recovery pace

Reckon they’ll be a decent bet to get relegated next season. They won’t have the squad to cope with Europe and the league and they’ve over-performed this season significantly points-wise. Just look at their goal difference

3.5/10, solely because of some good European nights and decent work in the cups. In the league I can’t go higher than a 2.5 based on performances

Always forget about Cordero. Wonder who will be staying with the squad next season rather than going on loan. Neave, Park, Cordero? Who else?

However needs a massive start to the new season. Think ten games so we can see what the plan is. We can’t look directionless like this next season. I hope he can turn us around

Get him out day one of the window please

They’ve shown about as much intent to win their match / draw their match as we have. Fucking horrific final day this

Having to watch Elanga after this shitshow of a 65 mins. Worst final day of the season since we were relegated

Was never even a free kick for the foul given against Woltemade

Spurs go down for me. Means far more to us in terms of our future attempts to keep climbing. Sunderland getting into Europe would be a one off. People would just need to suck up the fact that they were in it for a year and all that shit that comes with that

Howay man Dokko. It’s all gone a bit radge here. I know how much you help other people with their mental health and how much the topic means to you. Genuinely don’t think KI is having a go at you here

Fuck off, he’s not minimising anyone else’s experience. He’s just talking honestly about the impact. If you think Burn doesn't realise what a privileged position he’s in financially and in other respects then you clearly have no idea who Dan Burn is

Aye, his passing was massively wayward this season. He seems to have gotten slower too. Given his injuries he’d be a player I’d seriously consider selling this summer if there was a good bid in. His lack of recovery pace massively exposes Thiaw. However, it is very low priority and I do think he can get back to being top quality if he stays injury-free. His aerial ability, reading of the game and physicality in duels are all still great

Elite football wear

“Go heavy on the scrambled egg, please”