Pons Alias

We all looking forward to the fallout from the Paederby?

No Mick Lowes?

None. He tried, but his cock fell off.

Which would mean that Woodman also gets treated to a day at an owl sanctuary and a dinner with a big plate before having sex with Pardew in a hotel room until he is chastised for getting chocolate mousse on the skirt thing round the bed and being sacked in a radio interview. Busy day for the big fella.

"We might sign some more players." https://t.co/6cd8y3Be8Z

0,000,099p

Ah - the Joe Kinnear approach to player sales.

I'd still give his missus a sore arse.

Rumoured to be looking at Roy Krishna

Dad? Is that you?

Can't see Mitro doing a Charity Shield though. Cole is dead to me.

He's got a new Mac. He uses Keynote now.

Bit harsh. He was a shit goalie.

Hitler started on the left, then drifted to the right.

Hitler looked like a winner when he started but was soon exposed as a loser whose tactics were suspect. Pardew, on the other hand...

I hope he has thrush in his lips.

We had him on loan for half a season. And got paid a million quid as part of the deal.

His haircut and demeanour sets of my alarm bells - seems like a bit of a blingy twat.

Or maybe Phil Brown wears a fat suit to become Sam.

"Them things" Stop it.

Imagine that poor lass, getting hammered off Mitro.

Off you fuck. Talented but no heart.

It's a good match in some ways - he does stink of p*ss.

WTF sort of photo is this, Evening Chronicle? http://i3.chroniclelive.co.uk/incoming/article11295762.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/JS89152619.jpg Caption: Newcastle United goalkeeper Tim Krul

Is David Kelly available?