Stal

Came in for signing news, sent me off on a Brass Eye rabbit hole. Am not disappointed.

From the BBC rumours page... Newcastle have been offered France centre-back Samuel Umtiti 28, by Barcelona on a potential loan deal with an option to buy. (Mail) The Magpies are also monitoring 21-year-old Dutchman Sven Botman but the Lille defender's first-choice move is reportedly to AC Milan. (Chronicle Live) Is their agent Jane Plough from Toast of London? They sound like they'd be one of Jane's.

Does that article say anything or is it just a reminder that we held talks with him last month just in case we'd forgotten?

PLEASE take the number 2 off clark. An absolute pet hate of mine is wrongly placed squad numbers and 2 on a centre back, a left sided centre back at that, is just plain wrong. The squad numbers feng shui (as well as my OCD) is completely out of kilter.

You can sod right off with Morecambe like. Hull, I'm with you. Happy for him to buy one of the media darlings though. Love to see him buy spurs. I know it won't happen but I would think it was great if he bought man u. Bet what a prick he is would soon be showcased to the world then.

I know I'm impatient but just finalise it already. It's bringing back 'Nam type flashbacks of the 732 year takeover saga with this "movement closer" malarkey. Him signed would be a massive, a huge weight off my mind and the confirmation that we are now serious players in the market. It effs up and there is a possibility that it becomes the first of many to snub us. Sorry, sorry, Just years of worry because the previous era are not easy to shift.

Can you not unregister a player to register someone else?

Formula 1 is rubbish.

He does a few posts earlier. Darlo friendly. Sammy scores, people on pitch.

Only issue I've got with Jones is that he appears to still be playing the same players as bruce was. That didn't work and so you'd think he could have made some changes to put his mark on things and maybe even got us looking a better side. That he hasn't done that is a little concerning. No issue at all with him stopping on as a coach though. Fair play to him.

Thank you so much. This is ridiculously appreciated.

Could I ask a wee favour? I've said before that I lost my love for football gradually over the last 14 years and with that went a lot of my knowledge on current players and managers. It's a bit of an ask but any chance anyone could put together a list of the main contenders with their styles, pros and cons? Not War and Peace, just a couple of lines. I'm really not sure who I should be rooting for so I stuck to what I know and picked Rafa in the survey. I'm so out of touch and kinda a little embarrassed to ask.

Anyone have any idea what the training schedule is like now tis guy has taken temporary charge?

"pm me hun"

Yeah, I noticed this a while back. Maybe his agent pays the media to sneak his name in articles to make us subliminaly accept him as an option?

Get in!!! Super happy the inept cabbage head has gone!!!

He absolutely didn't have that. He is completely unable to garner sympathy so if pushed as a face he wouldn't be able to make that connection and would fall flat on his arse. Plus, he's a slimy twat and the sort who'd be trying to politic with the booker for a push and rat out everyone else for spurious things. I reckon he'd be creepy behind the curtain and he'd likely be shunned by the dressing room and maybe his opponents would work just a little bit stiffer with him because of his prickishness. Bruce is the sort of bloke who'd turn up for training exactly six times, not be good enough so he forms his own promotion and makes himself champion.

Fucking love a good fancy dress party, me like ???

Bet you're fun at (fancy dress) parties.

I mean, he doesn't look delighted. Maybe he realizes bruce is still here.

Loving the idea of a "mystery trebuchet" ???

What irritated me today was in the BBC gossip it was on about Newcastle and then, pretty much out of nowhere, mentioned frank fucking lampard was in the running. It's like they're willing him on us.

When was this "always understood"? Takeover style timescales again. "He will be gone by X day", " he will be gone by y day", "before spurs", "always understood it will be...". Just get the fucker out. Sorry, sorry. I know, but I just really want this fly in the soup gone so I can enjoy my meal properly.

ok .

I really do wish they would jettison the cunt. It's getting a bit like news on the takeover; "It will be today", " it will be tomorrow", "it will be by x date", "no, it will be by y date". The longer it goes, the more the doubt seeps in.