Happinesstan

Glenn Roeder vs Man City.

Apart from the having an affair part. Given the biological differences between men and women you could argue that his affair makes him more human.

If that's the way it turnds out, fair enough. But th last thing I want is for our survival being dependant on Joselu's finishing.

Guest of honour at the opening ceremony will be the linesman that awarded our 3rd goal in 66, to tell us all how the world would have been so different if we'd had VAR back then. Now that i will accept as an attack on our nation.

Next edition of Football Manager will have the option to wish a player happy birthday. The challenges of the modern game, eh?

Loves a bit of cous cous too. I've heard.

Most of our best performances at major tournaments have been the result of enforced change, 86 was Beardsley, 90 was Gassa, both I believe down to injury to Bryan Robson. We need that element, really.

Cisse's second against Chelsea was an absolute wonder goal, but my favourite will always be his second at Swansea. To even think of that finish, as an option in that situation was the sign of a quality finisher.

Agree with all that, but I don't really feel sorry for him, because I'm not sure how much his heart was set on it. I just don't think it is the centre of his focus right now. Obviously, he's ambitious and will have one eye on the prize, but he doesn't seem the type to be upset about it. See, lesser men than Jamaal would have approached this season with the sole intention of getting into the squad, whereas Lascelles is just doing his job for his club. He deserved to be selected and it's baffling that he wasn't picked. But I'm confident he'll just take the disappointment in his stride. And as his fairy godmother I say "He shall go to the ball."

Whilst not condoning what Carragher did, its ridiculous that the bloke who was filming him on a mobile, while driving is basically gonna get off with a slap on the wrist - after he went straight to the gutter press with his 5 second clip, and probably got paid a decent amount for it. I'm really not sure how I feel about the driver being punished, or not. Obviously he was breaking the law, a law whose intention is to prevent major accidents, and he is doing it with no nobler intention than to wind up a sporting rival "for banter", so I don't defend him. It's the kind of behaviour that paparrazi get up to, in order to evoke a reaction from celebrities that they want to portray badly. If that was a Sky reporter, tracking, I don't know, Russell Crowe, the angle would be completely different.

Players shouldn't be punished for accidental elbows that leave fractured cheeks, so I think we can let the odd accidental handball go.

Yeah. I was only considering the one possibility. I wasn't checking the odds of all the other scorelines and researching hw many times a 5-0 first leg led to a 5-2 return leg.

Did you ever go to a match under Keegan, expecting a damp squib? Well yeah there were plenty tbh, it wasn't all 5-0s and 5-2s. I can't recall us ever winning another match 5-2 either, it might have happened but there will be 1 or 2 more over the last 25 years on account of it being one of the most unusual scorelines in football. There may have been many that manifested but did you ever expect them? We weren't dubbed 'the entertainers' because we resembled American variety acts of the 1960s.

Did you ever go to a match under Keegan, expecting a damp squib?

Yeah, the tie was already won, so they would probably get a couple, and we'd already scored five at their place so that wasn't out of the question. I wouldn't have considered it for a moment if the chronnie hadn't mentioned it.

That 5-2 game is etched in my memory, because the chronicle mentioned the fact that it was 100-1 for 5-2 and I thought that scoreline was highly likely. I didn't put the bet on and I didn't go to the game.Instead I went to the bingo at the Black Bull in Wardley. We won 4 pints or something.

Can we not just praise a player for doing well without forcing people into making negative posts about him in response to nonsense like this? But he is imo, and I had a Jersey with Enrique on the back. No-one got past Enrique, and no-one gets past Dummett, and if they ever did, both had the pace to make up for it. Not sure why you'd say what I wrote was nonsense. Nobody gets past him but he doesn't often win back possession like Enrique did. But as somebody else said, it works for our system. He concedes a throw and we get the chance to re-organise.

Was he ever charged with anything? Because that's the thing for me. If it's evidence of a crime it should go through the correct channels. But then maybe too many rich successful people have gone through the right channels and got away, and the people are enacting their own justice. It's a scary situation like. Remember when sci-fi predicted interactive TV? I think we're pretty much there now.

If the potential to kill comes from the reduced ability to focus on driving, then surely the same can be said for taking your eyes off the road to focus on hockling in the car driving beside you. He didn't do mirror, signal, manoeuvre.

He's been absolutely solid so far. Demonstrated by the reaction to his howler on Saturday. If that had been Darlow in his 4th consecutive game, I think the sky would have fallen in.

The worst thing about it is the casual nature. He knows the guy recognises him and he goes and does that, with such accuracy that it's hard to believe he hasn't done it before. The guy is a public figure FFS. And yet he doesn't think once, never mind twice, about doing that in public.

What is the furthest a club has dropped, into the relegation zone, on the last day?

That's what I was going on. I'd completely forgotten about the possibility of a takeover. One of the luxuries of focussing on the positives on the pitch. A good takeover would be the best, but going forward without that as a possibility we are looking stable, and definitely have something to build on. We've bolted the horse to the cart, maybe this year we'll feed the horse.

Yeah. Well you could end some of your chapters with “Needles to say… I took drugs”. needles. Drugs.

I'm not convinced Rafa is at breaking point. He's been frustrated, but if he thought Ashley was making a mug of him, surely he would have walked already. I think he wants to stay and relishes the challenge. If Ashley can somehow turn things into kept promises, by givingRafa all the money generated by the club this season, then we could be on a fresh page. It's just such a big if.